Kyle,
I should’ve seen it in the moments of awkward silence, I should have seen it in the short gaps between him and you. I wish I had ended this soon, and that I never wasted my time. You were the final straw that broke my back. Time and time again, I heard the same **** and even though I was no where near in love with you, it hurt me that you did it too. I should’ve seen it in the meaningless drunk *** and your immaturity. I should’ve seen it when I was so drunk I could barely walk, and I begged you to take me to the bathroom to ***** for the first time ever, and you just kissed me and kept going. I should have known, and I’m so mad at myself for even involving myself with another. I can’t believe I let you think I loved you, because looking back I never felt a god **** thing for you. To me you were nothing but a good time and a distraction. I rarely say this, but you really were a mistake. The wrong exit on my highway of life, and now I have to find my way back onto the freeway and fly down, way away from you. To you, I was a first, and a sobering reality of the train wreck you are. But guess you’re just gonna throw another one back and forget about me too.
Sincerely,
Your loss
Apr 16, 2019
Apr 16, 2019 at 10:31 PM UTC
someday it will
come again.
someday someone
will come in.
a star
with the deepest depths in the eyes
with the gentlest of breaths
and endless soul in the smile
one day
i'll forgive this pain
not forget -
forgive.
Apr 16, 2019
Apr 16, 2019 at 10:28 PM UTC
do u ever
want to tell
someone
how proud u are
of their happiness
isn't that weird?
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 5:56 PM UTC
It's kind of
crazy how
one moment i'm strong alone
and how u crept in
u made ur way in
and from the moment
we first met in person
i knew
im too scared to say
u are my one
when deep down i know
its the truth
its not a feeling of firey passion
its not a relationship of need and want
but of genuine, dare i say
love
i see ur ugly,
and call u beautiful
u see me flaws,
and tell me i'm perfect
sometimes i find myself
crying
from pure happiness
that we found each other
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 10:42 PM UTC
Breathe deeply
Inhale
Exhale
When the world
Starts to tilt
On its axis.
Stand up.
Believe in your
Strength.
For your strength
Has gotten you through
100% of all of
Your very
Worst days.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 11:29 PM UTC
subway doors, on the road
i am finally on my own
speeding through the tunnels,
in the flicker, i see your eyes
doors open, i step outside
i catch your hungry gaze
long for love, on the rocks
our glasses clink as we kiss
hazy suns, rainy days
as i watch you fade away
self destruct, over us
serve it cold, Cabernet
warming sun, spring day
how did i know you were the one?
city lights, night drive
windows down, my heart to play
bright lights, time to play
drinking margs before the club
one wrong move, something changed
melted ice, broken glass
one small change, anxiety
i can read you like a book
sun sets, dog days
as i watch you fade away
number 3, number 6
swipe to fill the nights away
flowers bloom, and then they die
please don't pick the next one too
summer grey, 3:00 am
can't wash away your hands on me
I can't escape reality
broken clocks, start anew
subway doors, winter blue
oh so many "i love you"'s
red sunrise, set me on fire
city lights and purple hues
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 11:18 PM UTC
You never loved me.
The way that I did you.
Don't blame it on the space
its all on you
I never asked for this
I saw the lies in your head
I let those worries wash away
in those deep blue eyes
I'm glad I stayed, I'm glad you left
4 hours gives me space to breathe
I hope you grew from it
I sure as hell did
A year sure does change a lot
sometimes it still hurts
that you never loved me
we both used each other
to feel whole
looking back I can see
what everyone said about us
that wasn't love, it was lust
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 11:05 PM UTC
what if
all those
months ago
in the summer sweat
i had surrendered
and ended it all
and never became
who i am today.
what if
i never sparked
the hope
the joy
the love
in the lives
friends, family
and instead
dumped my misery on them
as a final, grandiose **** you"
complete with black lipstick.
what if
i had never met my one
and felt his warm embrace
at the top of the concrete mountain
with his hand around me
as the wind whipped through our hair
what if
my family had to hear the news
that the black sheep
faded into oblivion
what if ...
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 11:01 PM UTC
Don’t ask me to say
Why it’s you
My brain is a firecracker
Sparking uncomfortably,
Overwhelmed with emotion
My heart jumps off a ledge
Only to be caught by you
Your warmth shines through me
And warms my frozen heart
You love me for my flaws
My shame, kinks, and the raw
You accept me for everything I truly am
And tell me I’m beautiful
I cry
My heart burns for you
For the first time in my life
I feel capable of being loved
Not forced or fought
But genuine and organic
I fear the future
But you make it possible
I would give anything to see your smile
Your eyes catch mine
Diamonds have nothing on you
You light me aflame
Every time you I hear you say my name
Your eyes are so bright
And so full of life
I didn’t choose you
You didn’t choose me
Simply put
We are meant to be
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 15, 2018 at 9:23 PM UTC
What the **** did I get myself into
You and I came out of nowhere
Neither of us knows what we're doing
Neither of us knows how to do this
I don't know how to be the best I can be for you
I don't want to miss you as much as I do
And crave your touch as much as I do
I feel like I'm falling, right into your arms
I'm so scared, I don't want to be hurt again
It's so hard to trust this, it's so hard to let myself love
I'm scared of the distance, the others, losing you, losing myself
I'm scared of screaming into the night sky, screaming "why again"
And to feel that cold autumn wind burns my throat
And chap my cheeks as my tears run on
While I run further from myself
Scared to deal with the hurt of the others
Afraid of being with you
Afraid to not be
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 11:26 AM UTC