I don't yearn anymore
For your eyes, for your touch
For you to say yes
You chose, you spoke the truth
Even if not in so many words
As you simply didn't want to explain
Or tell me why
Why you stumbled too like I did
Why you may have wanted it too
As much as I did
The known gives you comfort and safety
So be it.
I yearn for the tempestuous, not for predictability
I yearn for the hurricane, not for the humble river
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 7, 2019 at 2:21 PM UTC
Sorry for not taking better care of you.
Sorry for not loving you enough.
Sorry for not being honest.
I tried, I really tried.
And I failed, miserably. You were the best I could have had.
I knew it then. I admit it now.
For those who keep asking why can't I let you go, the answer is simple -
I'm scared. Not of loneliness.
But of the fact that one day I am going to meet someone, I'm going to fall in love, he is going to let me down, and I am going to think of you.
The one who always made me feel safe. The one who treated me respectfully. The one who lavished me with love and affection. I am going to meet a much colder version of myself.
And he is going to shatter me. And I will go back and think of you. And repent that I should have given us another chance.
But I can't anymore. I can't take care of the both of us.
We need to grow, independently this time, I'm afraid.
It's time I lay you to rest.
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 3:07 PM UTC
My head feels heavy and dizzy
Throw a ring over my head
Like you always do
Make me feel less than I am
What am I?
Your cold and distant downfall
Your overtly emotional nuisance
I am too much, too little
The one you push away
The one you pin down
The face changes
The chaos continues
Always the anti-hero
How can it be
When I am on the losing end, always
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 12:33 PM UTC
You leave me high and dry
Render me motionless
A conflict between my two sides
The pragmatic one and the whimsical one
The one who rationalizes
And the one who lives outside my body
The one who kills the slightest sense of emotion
The one who wants to break free
from all this analysis paralysis
A tug of war
between love and logic
Between fantasy and reality
But the battle was already lost
The casualty lies bleeding and helpless
I've bled till there is nothing left
Hope succumbed to the truth
What would you have chosen?
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 1:48 PM UTC
If I had to start listing down my vices, I would start with sloth, my God complexes and you....
Thinking about you every night before going to sleep
In between my dreams, in them, and after them.
In a state of wishfulness and delusion,I imagine you are mine
That you long for me the same way that I long for you
Ages ago, the mere sight of you or even the thought of you
Would comfort me and embrace me with hope
Hope that you might, one day, very soon, see how we are meant to be
Or hope, that on my grand revelation, you would shed your own inhibitions
And tell me, that, afterall this while, it really wasnt all in my head
I have lived through my darkest and most dismal days on this tiny glimmer of hope
And comforted myself by the fact, that you really didnt know
And that was enough for a while
Till you broke the bubble
And you did it with style
You gave me a taste of what it would be like to be with you
But you snatched it away even more quickly
No questions asked, no feelings exchanged, no explanations given
A drunken misdemeanour for us, thats all
A new kind of torture had been planted
Whats real and what was just a dream, was made clear once and for all
Maybe this is the best thing that could have happened
Cause hope can be a curse
That mind palace can imprison you and eat away at who you really are within
But I had gotten my dose
With passion and nonchalance, both
No what-ifs, no butterflies
Truthfulness and acceptance
Maybe this is the best thing that could have happened
A standing ovation for our player...
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 3:55 PM UTC