i always liked reading poetry more than writing it
i felt as though my words could not really explain my feelings
for some reason it gave me a sense of calmness reading
and knowing that someone feels the same empty ache in their
chest that i do.
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 20, 2016 at 1:51 AM UTC
you were a refreshing punch in the face. talking to you was like breathing in the crisp fall air after several months of the heat. for some reason you were so intriguing and my hands didn't even shake when i was around you. soon enough i fell in love with your laugh and how you made me feel, besides at 3 a.m because my heart ached to see you. i became in love with all your flaws but they weren't really flaws because they were perfect to me. you made me feel so safe and alive and although most days i wish i was dead you made me happy to live. you made me want to try, you made me want to be a better person. i cleaned up my mess of a life and even got out of bed early to see you. i was so consumed with you and before i even knew it you became my entire universe
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 20, 2016 at 1:49 AM UTC
you told me you wanted commitment
you told me i was everything that you ever wanted
you made me feel something.
he knew how broken i was
he knew what the last guy did and he looked
and me with those brown ******* eyes and told me he would
never hurt me.
i don't know if he was lying, or he just got tired of me.
weeks went by and things weren't feeling the same.
he did not text me 'good morning beautiful'
in fact sometimes he wouldn't text me at all.
he told me to not say 'i love you' until i meant it
but how could i tell him that when he didn't love me back?
he was so empty, but there was something so intriguing about him,
i think if he stayed around a little longer i could have given him the world.
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 7:10 PM UTC
Accidents.
at 7 years of age,
an accident was only
two cars that collided
tripping on my sock and falling
down the stairs,
walking backwards into my best friends sand castle
or dropping my ice cream.
i never considered a person to be an accident.
not once would i think that a mother would dread
carrying her baby around for 9 months, or cried when she
found out she was pregnant.
or give her child away...
was it really that hard to feed your child's mouth
a couple times a day? was it that difficult to pour bubbles into
their bath every sunday night? was to too hard to put them in school and watch them be successful? or was it easier just to give them away?
i never realized that i was an accident until i was 12 years old
sitting on my bed, that so many other kids have
slept on before me, watching my best friend
meet his new parents for the first time.
I've seen so many people come and go
but i have always been stuck here
am i too much of a mistake to love?
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 5:31 PM UTC
even though we said we were in love i often found my fingers wrapped around another cigarette than intertwined with your fingers. my lips have touched more bottles of ***** than your bottom lip. i felt more empty being with you than sitting in my room at 3 a.m bawling my eyes out for the 3rd time this week because you looked at that girl in a more passionate way than you've ever looked at me. in fact I'm not even sure that those were butterflies i was feeling in my stomach or the pain of knowing that you wouldn't be mine for long. i fill all the empty holes in my heart with things that will make me end up being more empty.
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 9:02 PM UTC
its late at night again
and my hands are shaky
because i think i drank a bit too much *****
the burning in my throat is better than the hurt in my heart
and my palms are sweaty and my heart is beating fast and i
wish i could call you but you won't pick up the phone when you see
my number anymore and the scars are becoming more noticeable just
like your love for her and i wish you could see what you did to me but
you just left me here to bleed
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 10:27 PM UTC
him.
his lips were always chapped
and his hands were ice hold like his heart
he dug his way into your heart and buried
himself into your bones.
you would taste him in your morning breath
and smell him on your sheets..
at 3a.m when you've had a bit too much to drink
you could here his raspy voice whispering
in your ear "don't worry baby girl, you are mine" like a lullaby.
when he kissed you your lips would start to burn like
how your lungs burned when you breathed in his
second hand cigarette smoke.
your hair smelt like his cologne and the washing detergent
his mom would use to wash his stained ripped up clothes.
don't tell me that i will get over him
when he has become a part of me.
i feel him when i breathe
i see him in my sleep
i hear him in my dreams
hes a part of me.
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 6:46 PM UTC
silk, lace, im a disgrace.
bruised arms
he said i was
a charm.
drink and drink
until i can't blink.
run to the toilet and puke
i told them it was the flu
kicked and shoved
but i said i was in love
"you're a ****
its only just a cut
tear stained jeans
tell me its just a dream
welcome to being fifteen
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 8:23 PM UTC
in the fall was the first time i saw
your big brown eyes. your hair
was the colour of the leaves falling
from the trees. i didn't think much about
how often you texted me or how you would
follow me out into the halls.
your hands were always so cold when the
snow started to fall, and your lips were so chapped
it looked like you've been biting them for a week.
and as the snow started to fall, so did i
your kiss was as refreshing as the spring morning
when the fog filled the air with dew on the grass. i told
you that i hurt myself before you came along and how i planned
to stop. i wonder if he kissed me because he felt bad.
the summer was as lonely as hell. you went away to
you dads and i don't think you remembered what my
lips tasted like when you got drunk with your other friends at camp.
you came back in september and welcomed me into your pale
skinny arms that were so comforting. i wonder if you even missed me.
and now its winter again and your heart is turning cold
just like the snowflakes landing on your eyelashes and
sometimes i don't know if we will make it but i keep holding
your hand so tight, you won't be able to let go. but maybe your heart will
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 6:40 PM UTC
please stop romancing cutting,
depression, eating disorders,
anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
those things are not beautiful.
it is not beautiful waking up
every morning wishing you
weren't here.
it is not beautiful having to wear
long sleeves in the summer to
cover up the scars on your arms.
it is not beautiful throwing up
in the toilet just so you don't
gain another pound.
it is not beautiful missing school
for a month just because you
couldn't drag yourself out of bed
to see daylight.
but you can be beautiful with
cuts and scars all over your body.
and you can be beautiful even though
you aren't too happy about your weight.
oh, and you're still beautiful if you haven't
socialized with people for a couple weeks.
and you're still beautiful even though you
blew out your 16th birthday candles wishing
you were dead.
you're beautiful, but the things that you have done to
your body aren't.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 12:16 AM UTC