again and again i find myself drawn
back to places in which i used to hide
to futures mapped out with best friends
and soulmates too early found
on late night phone calls and skype windows
i built my future around him
and it has been years since i've seen him
weeks since i heard his voice
and meer days since i liked a photo
i wonder if he ever thinks of me
as i think of him
but i know i built my future
on a love like an ocean
deep and unpredictable and washing away
he chose something,
someone, much more solid
he found a foundation
to build his home upon
and i am left
building a castle in clouds above a torrential ocean
i know at once and not at all suddenly
that he has a future
and it does not include me
and even if it did
i am not the same
i must find the voice
in my head
that tells me
i can be happy on my own
i just have to know myself
and i find that was always part
of the challenge
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 8:27 PM UTC
I am wistful
for an era
that has not yet come to pass
or even exist
but is only
a glimpse of a future
I might have
and I am unsure
of the path on which I should travel
to achieve the happiness
that every fiber of my being
longs to attain
and yet I know
that this future
is my only chance
to wipe away my past
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 8:15 PM UTC
I imagined I gave you,
All the love in every vein I could,
Every part of me I thought was good,
And every word I knew I should,
Share with you.
I imagined your hand in mine,
Comforting me when I was down,
Pulling me out when I almost drowned,
Accepting me when I found,
Another inside.
I imagined I held you,
When your ocean eyes were filled with tears,
When your perfect heart was drilled with fear,
When all you wanted was not to hear,
Deafening noise.
I imagined I was there,
When happiness lost its ring,
When you needed me more than anything,
When all you wanted was to hear me sing,
My love to you.
I imagined a world where you and I could share glances with each other,
Or gaze for eternity,
Where time lost its hold,
And let us slip between the hours,
In an endless embrace
I imagined an infinity of loving you,
But none of it outshone reality.
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 19, 2015 at 4:54 AM UTC
Tiny and unsure,
She made her presence known.
So unexpected from this branch,
She was all alone.
The plant thought dead and tossed
She made her quiet dwelling.
That she would not bloom
The others found so telling.
A timid candy bud,
Daring to bloom for freedom,
Becomes a sign of love,
A princess in her kingdom.
This tiny hopeful flower,
Overlooked by all,
Became a graceful symbol,
A queen that will not fall.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 11:51 PM UTC
What if love was a person
We could see their emotions
Give them happiness
Keep them away from sadness
What if love was a person
We could see their inner desires
We could fill their soul with a joy
That can hardly be done
What if the person that was the was you
The person I've been inlove with
The lady that fills my deepest desires of love
The lady that is true
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 1:05 PM UTC
Give me wings
Burn them onto my skin
Ink them upon my arms
Let them shelter me from harm
Give me wings so that I may try
Give me wings so that I may cry
Give me wings
Let me fly.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 10:16 AM UTC
Empty Vessels they warn against
Easily Broken they tell us
No Purpose they chide
Faithless we whisper and hide
I don't want to believe
Faith is meant to deceive
Inside myself I will seek
Lest I find myself weak
I used to wont to look
For love straight out of a book
Now I know better
Than to **** with the weather
Kissing in the rain
To drive myself in sane
With hope for a night
Filled with my delight
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 11:07 AM UTC
I know she thinks me bitter
For my gaping absences
But I find her fitter
For the role in these performances
She thinks I stole her lover
I really tried to not
I put her above all others
She has me worried, fraught
I find myself in guilt
For being happy then
I killed the friendship we had built
And wallow in my sin
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 10:26 AM UTC
My room
is a work of art
on the unvacuumed canvas
lies heaps
of U.C.S's
(unidentified clusters of ****
heaps that are only destroyed
during nights ... ... .. . . .
that are fueled with anxiety
or
just pu re
r
estles snes s .
These imperfect shapes
scattered
in comforting patterns
my compiled life
in pieces .
But I'm st ill restless.
The artist
is
never truly satisfied with
her
work
the mes s of my life
tossed comfor tably to the ground
until i am provoked by ... ... .. .
...
Each Article
I nd i v i dually held
Set in place
Stumb
ling upon
Lost object s ... . .
forgotten fabrics that
held you unquestionably.
a nostaliga
art
revealing things
you were probably already looking for .
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 10:13 AM UTC
He asks me why
I still write
But only in this class
He doesn't undestand
That he's the reason I am
Struck with inspiration
He's so happy
I so not
But his smile makes me close
I must not write now
For I fear
That he soon will know
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 22, 2014 at 12:17 PM UTC