Why do I do this...
It seemed like a good idea at first
but now I just sit here in the corner
with only the thoughts in my mind
and the feelings in my body
why do I do this to myself...
we both knew it wouldn't end well
so why did we?
I feel like **** and I know you must too
anxiety and depression eating away
until we are but skin and bone
whispers echoing in the endless void
sending chills up our spine
there's no escape so why do we hide?
the ending is already written
the ink is dry
why do I do this
Nov 2, 2021
Nov 2, 2021 at 10:15 AM UTC
I'm in love with you.
five words I can't say to you
for my soul is ready
but my heart is not
Oct 18, 2020
Oct 18, 2020 at 11:43 PM UTC
Do you ever feel the hurricane of emotions just beneath your surface?
yet you deceive yourself into thinking
your fine
for your soul lacks the energy
to cry?
Feb 6, 2020
Feb 6, 2020 at 8:33 PM UTC
We thought we would never have to grow up
We were young and dumb, like all kids
We played for hours on end
Never a second thought
You were my best friend,
But people grow up
We loved each other like sisters
Fought like a married couple
But never a second thought
You found out about the world and all its secrets
While I stayed in my imagination
You wanted to be older
I wanted to stay young
But never a second thought
Years went by, we were inseparable
Conjoined at the hip
What happened?
You started dating
Spent time with boys
Not me
Not a second thought
You became preoccupied
You didn't have time for me
But I stayed there
As each guy left
Soon it was too much
You got a boyfriend
Only wanted him
Let him say things
Distancing us
You changed,I couldn't be around you
You weren't good for me anymore
I lost myself in the madness
We split apart
It hurt at first, it did
But in time
I realized that
I'm glad
Knowing you was one of the best things
i've ever known
But losing you
Set me free
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019 at 10:39 AM UTC
So I have this boy that I like
He really likes me too,
He's nice and funny
But yet I feel
Worse than ever
I want to change
I think my brain is going insane
He says he wants to help
But he doesn't understand
My constant pain
Turmoil
Regret
He doesn't see the sadness behind my eyes
Or hear the tremor in my voice
But I don't blame him,
I'm the one who hides it,
The one who Can't explain the hate
The disgust
The disappoint
I have for myself
The **** I keep bottled up because
Regular people will never understand,
I want to scream until no sound escapes
Cry until my eyes dry out,
I have all this emotion and yet
No screams burst
No tears shed
He doesn't deserve this
He should have someone better
I have so much I want to spill on this page
But my mind can't catch up with itself
I'm a jumbled mess
I can't form the words
I wish I could tell you all this, but I can't
So I'll write it here in Hope that it will ease my tired soul
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 21, 2019 at 7:08 PM UTC
It's not even that I can't anymore,
I simply don't want to.
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 9:34 PM UTC
I'm confused
I feel used and abused
Choose and then lose
Wake up only to hit snooze
But if you snooze you lose, right?
Maybe if I just stop I'll be able to reach the top
But you have to move if you want to run,
Run if you want to fly
If you fly you might as well soar
Open every window and door
Instead of lying on the floor not knowing what to do anymore
For my door is jammed and the windows broke
I'm pretty sure my life is one big joke
But at the end of the day I always lose,
Because I hit
Snooze.
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 9:09 PM UTC
We are getting close...
Maybe too close...
I think it's just me,
I get close and then pull away,
Back to my own world
I'm sorry, in case you don't know
I dont mean to run away, but I feel
myself wanting to run, get away
I'm not sure what it is that forces me to hide,
Twists up my being and hurts me inside
We are friends but I think you have a crush
I'm weighed down, trudging through slush
My feeling are muck and I'm stuck in this rut
I dont know what to do
I cant break my own rules
Disobey my mind
To commit the worst crime
Im confused, and I dont know what to do...
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 8:54 PM UTC
My life is a facade
Who i am at school is a mask
Who i am at home is a mask
People say "be yourself"
I don't know who that is
I don't remember the last time
I wasn't trying to be someone
Others wanted me to be
Confused
Alone
Lost
Me.
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 9:25 AM UTC