Words often fail me
When I need them the most.
So I let my mind wander free,
My thoughts drifting along the coast,
Waiting to become your own.
Let’s make memories: good and bad
Together as we grow
Here I am sharing with you
My very first words,
Written in a moment
When my heart wasn’t blue.
Feb 6, 2021
Feb 6, 2021 at 8:27 AM UTC
When words fail me,
I peer into my bottomless oblivion
And think of expressing
The honest, harsh, yet humorous side of me.
When words fail me,
I forage through my past
And think of revealing
The unusual, ugly, yet unblemished side of me.
When words fail me,
I discard the frightened side
And think of presenting
The pretty, pale, yet perfect side of me.
But when words fail me,
My thoughts fail too,
And I can only reveal
The silent, shy, yet sanguine side of me.
Dec 8, 2019
Dec 8, 2019 at 12:36 PM UTC
Would it be easier to let him go?
Would it hurt less from far away?
I think about leaving,
But thinking is the only thing I do.
Never knew deep friendship would hurt too.
He hurts me—unaware, unknowingly.
Perhaps it’s the “more” that kills me daily.
Sometimes I cry late at night,
Thinking about all the things right.
Shouldn’t it have been enough?
Every day I try to be a little more tough.
But he has this talent to make it all none,
Crumbling me into pieces seen by no one.
I don’t blame him for my suffering;
He is not liable for these happenings.
One never falls for someone by choice
It’s only according to the will of God
He just fell for someone else;
I have no more to speak for myself…
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 4:27 AM UTC
We don’t realize until it’s too late.
No one knows what their true fate is.
I used to think I knew what it was like,
But the pain I feel now isn’t alike.
I don’t know what’s worse—
The shock of what happens,
Or the ache
For what never
Will.
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 4:18 AM UTC
Spiraling down memory lane,
With little to no shame,
Muses the self-esteem quietly:
“Where’s my girl who once shined, oh so brightly?”
What made her lose the strength
That had earned her praises at length?
What made the power she once held
Break into tears that welled?
Who would you blame in this situation?
What led her pride to cessation?
Must be her own inability… you say?
But no one can control the thoughts that stray.
One can ponder that till infinity,
But now she is back to sanguinity.
“That was unexpected…” you say—
Well, these are the thoughts that stray.
Worried, ashamed, puzzled, and hurt—
“What about me?” the esteem blurts.
Crawling, stumbling, yet still standing,
How long will I be the one sacrificing?
Strength never comes only from growing;
Sometimes it stems from breaking.
Those little pieces carry heartaches
That first quake, break—then make.
Let the past be her experience
That will make all the difference.
Let the broken esteem guide her,
Make her forever oh so brighter.
Oct 5, 2019
Oct 5, 2019 at 5:16 AM UTC
I have masks for every feeling;
They often save me from reeling.
I must have done something wrong—
Don’t know how long I can stay strong.
I thought I cherished all I had,
But I realize now that it was my bad.
Perhaps I was holding far too tight,
Strangling what I loved, with no respite.
I have learned to pull back now,
Hiding what I once shared, somehow.
Now I have masks for every feeling;
They often save me from reeling.
I am lying here, crying under the moonlight;
Lost moments find it easy to alight.
I wish that sleep would come,
These endless thoughts make me numb.
What if I had done things differently?
Maybe regret wouldn’t have found me incidentally.
I count the mistakes I made somehow—
Maybe I’m not guilty, yet they hurt me now.
So I have masks for every feeling;
They often save me from reeling.
I’m not hiding in plain sight,
Yet sometimes I falter, despite.
It’s a mistake to show your all—
No one truly cares in the long haul.
So I’ve started wearing these masks,
Making hiding a less daunting task.
I am no longer the old me
Who let her feelings wander free.
That’s why I have masks for every feeling;
They often save me from reeling.
I am lying here, hiding under the moonlight,
Burying the moments that wish to alight.
Sometimes the old me still runs wild,
Crumbling the walls I carefully compiled.
I let her do just as she wishes,
Then watch her tumble down in pieces.
I’ve seen her hopes crush a million times,
Falling again after hopeful climbs.
That’s the reason I have masks for every feeling;
They often save me from reeling.
Oct 5, 2019
Oct 5, 2019 at 5:12 AM UTC