You said I was like a sister to you
I knew that was how it would be
Well still I can't stop loving you
Despite the pain it may cause
Now I write you down on this page
Hoping one day maybe you'll see
You are the only for me
And I the only for thee
So hold me close, tightly
Just this one time
That maybe you could warm to it
The idea of you and I
And if you ever could love me
Let me know right away
For im sure the pain it would **** me
Waiting just waiting for you to come by
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
it's ironic that I want you
to be the one to take me home,
when you're my home
in the first place.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
the robber sneaks into
my space of illuminating
sadness
trying to piece together
the things that make me
tick
soon enough he thinks
he has it figured out
placing screws in the abyss,
knowing that if I tock he did
something
wrong
i want to tell him that
nothing will work
no matter how hard
he tries
my hands are broken and nothing
will ever
make them tick again
as much as they can try
as much as i'm already turning my
cogs to start again
the robber takes my broken hands
but just for a bit
"let me borrow them" he says
when he brings them back they are
rusty and used
i want to tell him that it hurts to tick,
how just because i was condoning
the robbing; i wasn't accepting it.
but i don't say a word
i just croak a broken tock
and let him rob me
all over again
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
Just yesterday
We were 12 years old
Plagued by acne and awkward physicality
Attempting to conquer middle school and everything that comes with it
******* too large for our scrawny figures
Pale skin
Freckles painting our faces
Yesterday we were 12
I swear we were just
Giggling about boys between slow dances at whatever bar mitzvah was that weekend
Smiling as they stared at awe at our changing bodies
Sticks blooming into carved wood
Futures as tall as we were hoping to become
Although I myself never made it past 5 foot 2
It was the promise that kept us going
The promise of straight teeth and symmetrical eyeliner
The desire to have boys' hands on our skin
Craving the rough callus against our delicate thighs
There were no cages back then
Our stomachs were filled to the rim with butterflies
Free to do as they please
We never thought twice
Only did
Immersing ourselves in adventures
Back before excitement moved to glass bottles and late nights with crowded rooms
Back when
It lived in our backyards and the mall down the street
The other day
We were 12 years old
But today I just feel old
Feel strange
Feel like I left a part of me back home
I am miles away from where I was at 12 years
But it feels so close in time
Feels like I can still look in the mirror
To find us in poorly applied makeup
In Ill fitting pants and hot topic t shirts
Neon pink accessories
I find it hard to believe
That these people have been gone for six years already
And that for the first time since meeting
They will be apart
We have been through it all
The good
The bad
The disappointing
The awkward and embarassing
All of these years in my life
Have already passed
So why do I feel like they are still stuck to my skin
Why do I feel like nothing has changed at all
I know
That change is inevitable
That time goes on no matter how many times we hit snooze
That we are older and that this is real life and we don't get to choose whether it's easy or not
That we have to face it head on
I know we're going down separate paths
But they have to connect somewhere
I know they will someday
Someday we will look back
And say
Yesterday we were 18
Where the **** did time go?
I don't know where it did
But until we find it
Let's just breathe
Take it in
Go slow.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
She’s got a hole on the topside of her right Nike shoe
Pink, black, white patterns ruined by her bony toe
Does she know
She’s not wearing socks?
Hair callously thrown into a disgraceful bun
Wetted from sweat or shower
I’ll never know.
Screensaver sepia toned
And donned in the center
Is a lover, perhaps,
Kissing her laughing cheek.
She’s more organized than me,
Dutifully taking notes
And yearning, craving for the professors
Pleasant spew of factual ****
She records his words
I record my thoughts
Who’s the more selfish one?
This stranger sitting diagonally in front of me
With her pink ears and lightly freckled face,
Or myself
Because I don’t even want to know her name.
Her world will forever remain a place
Untainted by myself
(Lucky her).
She’ll remain a mystery, an enigma
Stories that define who she is
Left for assumption and infinity.
She’ll never know I’m thinking
Only of her
And for absolutely no purpose
Other than practicing
Observing the small glimpses
Of people’s lives they offer you
Unknowingly
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
If thy self worth
derives from the status of others,
thou art a narcissist or a sociopath.
If thy self worth
derives from bringing others down,
thou art already lower than they are.
If thy self worth
derives from petty comparisons,
thou art a vain and unsophisticated soul.
If thy self worth
derives from thy own accomplishments,
no worldly thing can restrain thy potential.
Break free of thy Ego,
learn to let it drive thee
rather than steer thee:
thus may thou thy bliss construct.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
*You have to admit
I give something
you just can not give back
I make you happy
then make you sad
I make you feel
like you should do
now you You have to admit THAT!*
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
You must be strong, intensified, like coffee.
When you pour coffee into your mouth, you become the coffee.
When the coffee goes to your brain, you increased the energy levels.
Coffee can be dark and brown, but it sure makes you happy.
Become like coffee my friend.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
and maybe i'm upset
because
i only shove people out of my life
when i know
i'm going to hurt them
i'm the most toxic being to ever live
but
please please
stop reminding me
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:17 PM UTC
I'm a tiny little boat
and you're my
open sea,
i beg you
to
madly
swallow me up.
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 4:17 PM UTC