in-a-roundabout-way
I am a tenth grader who loves to write. I also play the trumpet, sing in the choir, and do art. I suck at math, math, math, and gym. I am really tall, have blue eyes, and brown shoulder length hair. I keep a diary which is very uninteresting and boring but I figure when I'm long gone and dead and there are hovercrafts and holograms no one will remember how boring it was. Well my diary will solve all the problems by being that entirely boring and uninteresting.
I didn't know. I swear I didn't
I thought you hated me. I thought you left.
I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have lied.
I didn't know. I swear I didn't
The guilt.
It festers and eats.
Tears everything away to reveal ****** and narrow bone
A lion stalking
I'm sorry. I'm so ****** sorry.
The hurt.
It sits. It is a bruise being constantly
pressed upon. The ache never leaves
Never surrenders. A cage.
It's painful. It's so ****** painful
The regret.
I lies low in my lungs like water.
It's drowning me. I can't breathe.
So dark and watery.
I can't breathe. I can't breathe ******
And all I can see through the tears is you.
Just you.
Walking away
from me.
I'm sorry.
So.
******
Sorry.
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 6:13 PM UTC
Mama always told me that he was a no good,
rotten, lowlife
son of a gun
And everybody knew to stay away from him
when the alcohol was running
through his veins
Really though
It was all my fault
For tripping down the stairs
And miscarrying the baby
A bright blue baby boy
Came out silent, so ****** quiet
He was still and tiny
It broke my heart in two
seein' his tiny blue hands
We buried him under the oak tree
In the back yard
right under the swing
I loved that swing
My husband loved his alcohol
and hated my incompetence
and liked to leave some marks on a woman
But I loved him
with all of my aching heart
even with all the bruises that shaded my skin
He was the best thing
that ever happened to me
I took all the beatings and the nasty words because of it
But when he brought home that woman
Well, you'd guess I was pretty upset
But I refused to go down without a fight
So that night I lit a few candles
Put on my best nightgown
Waited for him in the bedroom
Even managed to clean all the dirt
out from underneath my fingernails.
I was in the garden all day
After all it was hard work
digging myself up from under
the old oak tree
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 9:52 PM UTC