i should have fought,
i should have heard
your cries for help
behind your words
i should have stitched
your shattered heart
if only i'd known
just where to start
you carried so
much heavy pain
and now we're left
with all the scars
we loved you so
because you
showed us
who we
really
are
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 6, 2017 at 10:29 PM UTC
i thought i had forgotten, but really,
you were there the whole time
maybe it wasn't even actually you,
but the idea of you;
a collection of flawless moments
i've been saving up,
playing on repeat
i had a dream about you the other night and i thought
it was no longer possible,
but there you were without warning
and beautiful as ever
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 6, 2017 at 10:13 PM UTC
the poems about you are my best ones
they write themselves, you know
i am nothing but a medium through which words pass
i simply have to bring you to mind
-something that is never difficult-
you live inside of my heart and make it quiver
with each blink of your icy blues
waves of emotion wash over me
i'm suspended in an ocean of our memories
and when i'm finally washed ashore,
traces of you are still tangled within my hair,
weaved between my toes
like a dream, i can't remember exactly where i just was
or how i got there,
but written in the sand before me are words,
carefully arranged in a way not nearly as perfect as you
Aug 26, 2016
Aug 26, 2016 at 6:12 PM UTC
it was grey today
and i left the house without a jacket
the light rain that was too heavy to ignore
speckled my glasses, blurred my vision in areas
i didn't even try to count the drops
to take my mind off of you
i didn't wipe them off or smile as each one landed
because all i wanted was warmth
i wanted to feel the sunshine
consume me yet again
i wanted a ray to reach out and hold me in its glistening embrace
like a blanket made of diamonds,
but nothing took place
i know the sun will return once the clouds blow away
and i'll get to feel your glow again
maybe someday
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 24, 2016 at 6:22 PM UTC
i'm fine
as long as i never think about it again
never think about you again
and how the sun is always setting right behind your face,
competing with your shadow
i'll try, but i know i'll never forget
how you are both the strongest and gentlest person
i've ever encountered
or how your smile is a warm blanket
that shields me from how hard i am on myself
as long as i never think about
all the secrets you've told me and no one else,
i know i'll be okay
i locked them away long ago
in my cage of bones
with a heart-shaped lock
you took off with the key
out of sight, out of mind
i hope to god that's true because i won't be alright
if i keep thinking of you
Jun 11, 2016
Jun 11, 2016 at 1:53 PM UTC
it's crazy how someone so angry and confused and depressed
can turn all of that around for themselves,
but in the process,
make everyone around them carry the weight they just shed
from that point on
i wish you'd given some of it to me
even if you gave me all of it,
i know i'd be able to handle it,
but you wouldn't let me see
i want to scream until my throat bleeds
i want to cry until i fall asleep,
but only for every time you had to alone
your oversized heart was my home
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 1:07 PM UTC
never before have i been woken up by my anxiety
never before have i known a sadness so deep
never before could i have imagined this feeling
or the fact that once it hits, it takes the rest of your life to melt away
why couldn't i tell you how special you were to me?
why couldn't i ******* pick up the phone on 4/20?
you're right, i'm nothing,
and you were something i could always count on,
but never took advantage of
someone everyone could depend on if they needed to
you were always there and that's why i couldn't see you
i grew used to your distance and your constant pain
just like i've grown used to my own,
but i didn't know you had grown fed up,
filled with anger and trauma
from those who should have loved you most
there are so many things that were sacred to me
that i can no longer enjoy
and you're at the top of that list
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 11:52 AM UTC
i noticed we haven't been exchanging I love you's anymore,
and that's for the best
for my own good,
I won't pay attention to the way your heart
pounds on the back of your chest
take time to notice my imperfections;
it's in each of our best interest
almost past the point of no return, and then,
our hearts can rest
Apr 21, 2016
Apr 21, 2016 at 5:25 PM UTC
listening to love songs
hoping that i'm not wrong
kissing you goodnight
going back to sleep and dreaming for a week would be so nice
he's in my darkest nightmares,
holding me when i'm scared
the end is all i think of
smiling for the pictures as he wipes off my tears
i know this is real love
...
sitting in his old car
looking up at the stars,
hoping one will fall
getting high and drinking will ease us from this thinking
give me a break
i'm staring into his eyes
now his lips are on mine
this is my heaven
"take me back to your place"
yearning for his embrace
said he'd love me always
...
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 6:44 PM UTC
it's over
and now we'll never speak of it again
at least not to each other or to anyone we know
not to our parents, strangers, or foes
let's get together and not say a single word
at this point, it's best we're both unheard
outside in this eternal sunshine,
we will bask until our skulls house spotless minds
we will lie there with no intention of leaving;
not until both of our hearts have stopped bleeding
only then will we rise and be able to lock eyes
one final time before fleeing
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 1:00 PM UTC