hunter-shields - Hello Poetry

Whack! Whack! His mother’s heels click down On to the hard wood floor He claims to be Cinderella His father looks down And his first emotion is fear For his young son’s life It won’t be easy He bends down Picks him up and holds him tightly “My beautiful son, Be back before midnight” Whack! Whack! His bat strikes the baseball For his first home run in Little League His heart was never in it But his father encouraged him To try new things And his mother is his biggest fan He starts to notice How tight baseball shorts are They’re not very comfortable Whack! Whack! Towels leave bruises in the locker room He laughs at his teammates Running from his quick wrist And wet towel He’s the starting quarterback And they just won states He was voted Homecoming king Whack! Whack! His heart duels against his ribs The first time he kisses another boy It’s nothing like the girls There’s a new rush in his blood His mind is in space And his stomach in his throat Whack! Whack! He brings the axe down hard Sunburnt metal splitting fibers Sending woodchips everywhere His father making him learn The lesson that only hard work can teach Nothing worth having comes easy Whack! Whack! The hammer comes down on the nail As he finishes his daughter’s swing set He watches through the window As his husband Hands her the first slice Of her birthday cake She just turned five A number you didn’t get to see They say when you die Your life flashes before your eyes They don’t say It’s always your past Whack! Whack! His mother’s heels click down On the hard wood floor He claims to be Cinderella His father looks down And his first emotion is fear… Whack! Whack! His fists clench Whack! Whack! They come raining down Whack! Whack! He can’t seem to get away Whack! Whack! Why can’t you be a man Whack! Whack! Why can’t you be a man. Whack! Whack! Why can’t you be a man! Why can’t you!? You were his father! And you Were his mother! You broke a child When you were supposed To build him up So now the world Had to bury his dreams in pieces Shattered like glass slippers You were afraid of him While we Would have loved him His name was Zachary. Zachary Dutro-Boggess. I wrote your name Onto a piece of paper And folded it into a daisy Because something beautiful Had to come out of your story Your birthday curled down Over one of the petals 3 days before the day you died You turned 4 years old I wonder what you wished for When you blew out your candles I wonder what you wished for When you first met God Way too young And he showed you What love really was

0

Jun 19, 2015

Jun 19, 2015 at 4:31 PM UTC

hunter-shields

I Didn't Know What a Requiem Was

Whack! Whack! His mother’s heels click down On to the hard wood floor He claims to be Cinderella His father looks down And his first emotion is fear For his young son’s life It won’t be easy He bends down Picks him up and holds him tightly “My beautiful son, Be back before midnight” Whack! Whack! His bat strikes the baseball For his first home run in Little League His heart was never in it But his father encouraged him To try new things And his mother is his biggest fan He starts to notice How tight baseball shorts are They’re not very comfortable Whack! Whack! Towels leave bruises in the locker room He laughs at his teammates Running from his quick wrist And wet towel He’s the starting quarterback And they just won states He was voted Homecoming king Whack! Whack! His heart duels against his ribs The first time he kisses another boy It’s nothing like the girls There’s a new rush in his blood His mind is in space And his stomach in his throat Whack! Whack! He brings the axe down hard Sunburnt metal splitting fibers Sending woodchips everywhere His father making him learn The lesson that only hard work can teach Nothing worth having comes easy Whack! Whack! The hammer comes down on the nail As he finishes his daughter’s swing set He watches through the window As his husband Hands her the first slice Of her birthday cake She just turned five A number you didn’t get to see They say when you die Your life flashes before your eyes They don’t say It’s always your past Whack! Whack! His mother’s heels click down On the hard wood floor He claims to be Cinderella His father looks down And his first emotion is fear… Whack! Whack! His fists clench Whack! Whack! They come raining down Whack! Whack! He can’t seem to get away Whack! Whack! Why can’t you be a man Whack! Whack! Why can’t you be a man. Whack! Whack! Why can’t you be a man! Why can’t you!? You were his father! And you Were his mother! You broke a child When you were supposed To build him up So now the world Had to bury his dreams in pieces Shattered like glass slippers You were afraid of him While we Would have loved him His name was Zachary. Zachary Dutro-Boggess. I wrote your name Onto a piece of paper And folded it into a daisy Because something beautiful Had to come out of your story Your birthday curled down Over one of the petals 3 days before the day you died You turned 4 years old I wonder what you wished for When you blew out your candles I wonder what you wished for When you first met God Way too young And he showed you What love really was

107

There’s a part of me That’s still the 5 year old kid The part of me that’s scared That knows I’ll need a blanket From the bottom of a bottle To hide and protect me From the monsters in my mind I used to be a real boy Now when I close my eyes, the image rises into view. From back when you lied to me And my trust lied in you Well that trust lied too I want to forget, A blank slate of memory Like this blank page in front of me But it’s not blank It has everything on it Like when you walked to your door And you locked it Turned to me and said “We’re gonna play a game” I looked up to you innocently And asked what’s its name But a five year old mind isn’t developed enough To understand the term ******* The discomfort building in my heart Didn’t seem to fit Because how could it all Be building up to this How could I know You were a Grimm Brother’s Pinocchio Because when you lied, your nose, it didn’t grow Oh no It much further south And much better hidden At least until you were alone with a kid and Then liar liar’s pants were off Like they were on fire I know what a deer feels like When it’s seen by a lion Cornered by four walls And a locked door I was about to find out What was in store And they don’t take refunds I tried to fight you off But to my David This time Goliath won And with absolutely nowhere to run I did the only thing I could I cried out And in a second your hand covered my mouth Silencing the sound Of an innocence being stolen And a soul being broken “Don’t make a sound” I’ve been told we all have one creator So tell me Gippetto Did you know Was it in your perfect plan For all of this to happen Or is the blue fairy in charge Handing out wishes to those with blackened hearts Or maybe none at all There was only one mercy granted from it all It’s defined as a repressed memory For ten years it was kept from me Blacked out with flare ups of anxiety Side effects of a mental infection Always managing to evade detection Until I was fifteen When the wall finally came crumbling down And while there were so many people around Who could I turn to Who could I possibly trust After becoming a victim Of the ultimate sin of lust And if you have figured out the name Of the game I was forced into playing Then you’ll understand what I’m saying When I tell you I used to be a real boy

0

May 5, 2013

May 5, 2013 at 6:43 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Pinocchio (Re-visited)

There’s a part of me That’s still the 5 year old kid The part of me that’s scared That knows I’ll need a blanket From the bottom of a bottle To hide and protect me From the monsters in my mind I used to be a real boy Now when I close my eyes, the image rises into view. From back when you lied to me And my trust lied in you Well that trust lied too I want to forget, A blank slate of memory Like this blank page in front of me But it’s not blank It has everything on it Like when you walked to your door And you locked it Turned to me and said “We’re gonna play a game” I looked up to you innocently And asked what’s its name But a five year old mind isn’t developed enough To understand the term ******* The discomfort building in my heart Didn’t seem to fit Because how could it all Be building up to this How could I know You were a Grimm Brother’s Pinocchio Because when you lied, your nose, it didn’t grow Oh no It much further south And much better hidden At least until you were alone with a kid and Then liar liar’s pants were off Like they were on fire I know what a deer feels like When it’s seen by a lion Cornered by four walls And a locked door I was about to find out What was in store And they don’t take refunds I tried to fight you off But to my David This time Goliath won And with absolutely nowhere to run I did the only thing I could I cried out And in a second your hand covered my mouth Silencing the sound Of an innocence being stolen And a soul being broken “Don’t make a sound” I’ve been told we all have one creator So tell me Gippetto Did you know Was it in your perfect plan For all of this to happen Or is the blue fairy in charge Handing out wishes to those with blackened hearts Or maybe none at all There was only one mercy granted from it all It’s defined as a repressed memory For ten years it was kept from me Blacked out with flare ups of anxiety Side effects of a mental infection Always managing to evade detection Until I was fifteen When the wall finally came crumbling down And while there were so many people around Who could I turn to Who could I possibly trust After becoming a victim Of the ultimate sin of lust And if you have figured out the name Of the game I was forced into playing Then you’ll understand what I’m saying When I tell you I used to be a real boy

83

Wait, Hold on Just let me see. You want me, to talk about me? Well, that’s a first, Certainly not the worst Suggestion I’ve been asked Usually among angry slurs of Son of a ***** or ******* Jack *** I guess those are the feelings I tend to instill On people when I impose my will Now I know it’s a little dark And yet thinking **** this is just the ******* start? But wait There’s a light at the end of This tunnel you’re traveling But move fast because the walls of my mind Are unraveling And I know it’s startling But to me this is ordinary. Everything falling apart and being built back up A new person every time I wake up Now listen hear me and sit down and shut up I’ve been quiet for too **** long. At least four years spent bending to the will Of people far less strong But then it all changed. I opened my mouth and let out my mind It took only once and I had all their minds enraptured So incredibly captured By the skinny kid seizing the podium Using his words to Obliterate the opinions they held of him. Now let me pause here Before we go any deeper Let me make it clear There is a hunter Camouflaged inside the words painting the woods Hiding yet hinting at something you'd never believe could Have happened to him So watch your jokes And watch your phrases Because my life went through Those phases. Yet my laughter at the scabs at which you pick The injuries that still make me sick Is still genuine Despite what everyone thinks So please just stop your incessant “That’s not funny” Followed by your gaze upon me Because I see it in your eyes The look I’ve so grown to recognize That look of pure ******* pity And that my friends is worse And my parents do it the worst. See they feel responsible For not predicting the improbable But No one could Including me Seeing my thieving neighbor outside my backdoor Not knowing what he was there for I let him in to steal what I didn’t know I had. My innocence But in a sense It doesn’t matter. Because I try not to dive too deep into the past Because I’m here and finally happy at last So here let’s bring it full circle I believe you asked About me.

0

Mar 22, 2013

Mar 22, 2013 at 11:16 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Untitled Like Me

Wait, Hold on Just let me see. You want me, to talk about me? Well, that’s a first, Certainly not the worst Suggestion I’ve been asked Usually among angry slurs of Son of a ***** or ******* Jack *** I guess those are the feelings I tend to instill On people when I impose my will Now I know it’s a little dark And yet thinking **** this is just the ******* start? But wait There’s a light at the end of This tunnel you’re traveling But move fast because the walls of my mind Are unraveling And I know it’s startling But to me this is ordinary. Everything falling apart and being built back up A new person every time I wake up Now listen hear me and sit down and shut up I’ve been quiet for too **** long. At least four years spent bending to the will Of people far less strong But then it all changed. I opened my mouth and let out my mind It took only once and I had all their minds enraptured So incredibly captured By the skinny kid seizing the podium Using his words to Obliterate the opinions they held of him. Now let me pause here Before we go any deeper Let me make it clear There is a hunter Camouflaged inside the words painting the woods Hiding yet hinting at something you'd never believe could Have happened to him So watch your jokes And watch your phrases Because my life went through Those phases. Yet my laughter at the scabs at which you pick The injuries that still make me sick Is still genuine Despite what everyone thinks So please just stop your incessant “That’s not funny” Followed by your gaze upon me Because I see it in your eyes The look I’ve so grown to recognize That look of pure ******* pity And that my friends is worse And my parents do it the worst. See they feel responsible For not predicting the improbable But No one could Including me Seeing my thieving neighbor outside my backdoor Not knowing what he was there for I let him in to steal what I didn’t know I had. My innocence But in a sense It doesn’t matter. Because I try not to dive too deep into the past Because I’m here and finally happy at last So here let’s bring it full circle I believe you asked About me.

71

Maybe I am an ******* Maybe when I said “You’re beautiful and gorgeous” Every day I meant it in the most insincere way Maybe I just enjoy the taste of lies Maybe I am selfish Maybe when I took you to dinner, movie And everywhere you wanted to go I just wanted to see the show Maybe I just knew you’d **** me after Maybe I am needy Maybe when you ran to me And cried on my shoulder I let you so it didn’t grow colder Maybe I needed your heart to warm mine Maybe I am jealous Maybe when you opened your lips And legs like doors I shouldn’t have called you a ***** Maybe you just enjoyed the company Maybe I am shallow Maybe when I took months And solved the puzzle of your mind I just wanted to see you naked some times Maybe I didn’t care at all Maybe all of this is true Or maybe Baby You’re just a *****

0

Feb 24, 2013

Feb 24, 2013 at 5:19 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Maybe

Maybe I am an ******* Maybe when I said “You’re beautiful and gorgeous” Every day I meant it in the most insincere way Maybe I just enjoy the taste of lies Maybe I am selfish Maybe when I took you to dinner, movie And everywhere you wanted to go I just wanted to see the show Maybe I just knew you’d **** me after Maybe I am needy Maybe when you ran to me And cried on my shoulder I let you so it didn’t grow colder Maybe I needed your heart to warm mine Maybe I am jealous Maybe when you opened your lips And legs like doors I shouldn’t have called you a ***** Maybe you just enjoyed the company Maybe I am shallow Maybe when I took months And solved the puzzle of your mind I just wanted to see you naked some times Maybe I didn’t care at all Maybe all of this is true Or maybe Baby You’re just a *****

29

Let me paint you a picture Using nice long strokes And beautifully vivid colors And as with most works of art My muse is the tale of two lovers Plus one, two, three Or was it four others I seem to have lost count With re-occurrences and all And their masks seem to blur As I get lost in our thrall I tell you love is like a sun Beautiful to look at But will blind you If you stare just a little too long Unable to see a single mistake When everything is going wrong So I paint over the visages Of him, him, her, and him But the paint is just not thick enough How could it be? When the stain of betrayal Isn’t quite painted, but carved When the knives in the back Sink through to the heart And while it’s true That the color of apology Works well as a cover-up Only time truly hides scars And that’s what you wanted Wasn’t it Was time apart? But it’s just not right That you got to make that call Without even a fight You just want to call it a night So go ahead and sketch the dark And I will paint the stars Because that’s what we are Memories mirrored in paint From the nights Where you cried and I kissed you To the days Where our phone calls Ended with I miss you And I know You’re not cursed with the memory People think I’m blessed with So let this serve to remind you Of when times were best and Then maybe you’ll feel some regret Not the kind where watercolors Stain your perfect portrait I’m talking about life changing emotion So that maybe there won’t be reprints Sold at every corner auction I want something hung in a museum Something people would traverse The world to see And when they do They don’t know what they feel Because it’s hard to believe That it’s even real Seeing love with its contrast And how you treated it Like a contract Made with an expiration date Set even since our first date When you gave me that brush Inspiring me to paint So that is what I did And this is its masterpiece And now I guess I need a new brush

0

Feb 3, 2013

Feb 3, 2013 at 4:39 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Let Me Paint You A Picture

Let me paint you a picture Using nice long strokes And beautifully vivid colors And as with most works of art My muse is the tale of two lovers Plus one, two, three Or was it four others I seem to have lost count With re-occurrences and all And their masks seem to blur As I get lost in our thrall I tell you love is like a sun Beautiful to look at But will blind you If you stare just a little too long Unable to see a single mistake When everything is going wrong So I paint over the visages Of him, him, her, and him But the paint is just not thick enough How could it be? When the stain of betrayal Isn’t quite painted, but carved When the knives in the back Sink through to the heart And while it’s true That the color of apology Works well as a cover-up Only time truly hides scars And that’s what you wanted Wasn’t it Was time apart? But it’s just not right That you got to make that call Without even a fight You just want to call it a night So go ahead and sketch the dark And I will paint the stars Because that’s what we are Memories mirrored in paint From the nights Where you cried and I kissed you To the days Where our phone calls Ended with I miss you And I know You’re not cursed with the memory People think I’m blessed with So let this serve to remind you Of when times were best and Then maybe you’ll feel some regret Not the kind where watercolors Stain your perfect portrait I’m talking about life changing emotion So that maybe there won’t be reprints Sold at every corner auction I want something hung in a museum Something people would traverse The world to see And when they do They don’t know what they feel Because it’s hard to believe That it’s even real Seeing love with its contrast And how you treated it Like a contract Made with an expiration date Set even since our first date When you gave me that brush Inspiring me to paint So that is what I did And this is its masterpiece And now I guess I need a new brush

74

Let me be honest I am so freaking tired I need rest like a Snorlax And if you don’t get that reference You were never a 90s kid Skidding to a stop on route 16 or 12 Wondering what the hell Was blocking your path And slipping into “yo momma” jokes The world over So I pull my bike to the shoulder Trying to find the melody That will remedy my malady Because it’s the opposite of what you used See I don’t just need rest From walking town to town I need it from you, myself, And from everyone around Giving their two cents Calling it common sense and Of course I should listen since My wallet is empty of that currency While yours is apparently so abundant That you feel a necessity To force it upon me as charity I’m tired of clichés and Bits of wisdom from authors anonymous Because I’m telling you I’m not a mess That can be fixed with your Two penny potion Made from your split second emotion Based upon empathy or sympathy I can’t quite tell when it comes To your simply pity I’m sorry I don’t sound grateful I know you’re just being helpful I’m just so freaking tired Tired of stopping myself Before even getting started Because I know The battles everyday are hard and I don’t know That I can make it out As the champion I need to be This has been my reality Stutter stepping from 1 to 2 to 23 So maybe now you see Why I’m so freaking tired

0

Jan 25, 2013

Jan 25, 2013 at 6:52 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Red's Retirement

Let me be honest I am so freaking tired I need rest like a Snorlax And if you don’t get that reference You were never a 90s kid Skidding to a stop on route 16 or 12 Wondering what the hell Was blocking your path And slipping into “yo momma” jokes The world over So I pull my bike to the shoulder Trying to find the melody That will remedy my malady Because it’s the opposite of what you used See I don’t just need rest From walking town to town I need it from you, myself, And from everyone around Giving their two cents Calling it common sense and Of course I should listen since My wallet is empty of that currency While yours is apparently so abundant That you feel a necessity To force it upon me as charity I’m tired of clichés and Bits of wisdom from authors anonymous Because I’m telling you I’m not a mess That can be fixed with your Two penny potion Made from your split second emotion Based upon empathy or sympathy I can’t quite tell when it comes To your simply pity I’m sorry I don’t sound grateful I know you’re just being helpful I’m just so freaking tired Tired of stopping myself Before even getting started Because I know The battles everyday are hard and I don’t know That I can make it out As the champion I need to be This has been my reality Stutter stepping from 1 to 2 to 23 So maybe now you see Why I’m so freaking tired

48

White walls and blue gown Comfort sacrificed for pain They call it healing Last name and birthday A dozen times every day Here's your medicine Monitor beeping Clock singing its tick-tock song Hospital music

0

Jan 22, 2013

Jan 22, 2013 at 5:13 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Hospital Haikus

White walls and blue gown Comfort sacrificed for pain They call it healing Last name and birthday A dozen times every day Here's your medicine Monitor beeping Clock singing its tick-tock song Hospital music

9

He walks Right foot followed by the left His head a wilted flower Facing the floor Hiding the tears Hiding the fears And hiding his flowering mind that he finds Hideous The day is half over And he finds himself again At the nurses office Facing the ceiling Always up or down Never forward He sits Knees under his chin Arms wrapped around them Suddenly face buried Rocking back and forth Repeating the one desire "I just want to be two years old again" Tears streaking down his face Reflecting the television he uses To drown out his sobs His wishes going unanswered His anxiety going out of control And his mind Just going Forced and failed attempts at sleep Produce nothing but tear stained pillows And blood shot eyes He sleeps The rare nights Where his fears invade his dreams Everything intermingling Mixing and morphing into something Even he doesn't recognize All of it terrifying And all of it A part of him A part of his unconscious All shoved inside the chest of his subconscious Buried deep inside his mind Locked with a key it will take forever to find It never calms He Never calms He wakes Another paralyzed morning Chest pounding Blood rushing Skin tingling Stomach pain beginning He wants to move To not be wrapped in his straight jacket sheets Despite their comfort The day passes through his mind His life passes through his mind "What if..." Every wrong decision possible Collapsing his determination He stands He stumbles Another false start Another day off to the wrong start Gaze returning to his mattress Hearing the siren song Promising to soothe his deteriorating soul But he knows the black hole Disguised by that black comforter He can't fall back in He walks He sits He sleeps He wakes He stands He ages Anxiety his only constant Anxiety his only promise

0

Jul 19, 2012

Jul 19, 2012 at 1:49 AM UTC

hunter-shields

His Only Promise

He walks Right foot followed by the left His head a wilted flower Facing the floor Hiding the tears Hiding the fears And hiding his flowering mind that he finds Hideous The day is half over And he finds himself again At the nurses office Facing the ceiling Always up or down Never forward He sits Knees under his chin Arms wrapped around them Suddenly face buried Rocking back and forth Repeating the one desire "I just want to be two years old again" Tears streaking down his face Reflecting the television he uses To drown out his sobs His wishes going unanswered His anxiety going out of control And his mind Just going Forced and failed attempts at sleep Produce nothing but tear stained pillows And blood shot eyes He sleeps The rare nights Where his fears invade his dreams Everything intermingling Mixing and morphing into something Even he doesn't recognize All of it terrifying And all of it A part of him A part of his unconscious All shoved inside the chest of his subconscious Buried deep inside his mind Locked with a key it will take forever to find It never calms He Never calms He wakes Another paralyzed morning Chest pounding Blood rushing Skin tingling Stomach pain beginning He wants to move To not be wrapped in his straight jacket sheets Despite their comfort The day passes through his mind His life passes through his mind "What if..." Every wrong decision possible Collapsing his determination He stands He stumbles Another false start Another day off to the wrong start Gaze returning to his mattress Hearing the siren song Promising to soothe his deteriorating soul But he knows the black hole Disguised by that black comforter He can't fall back in He walks He sits He sleeps He wakes He stands He ages Anxiety his only constant Anxiety his only promise

79

You don't know what you do to me. You can't even imagine Can't begin to fathom What goes on in my mind When I catch That look in your eye The taste of you lips Upon contact with a magical kiss Mix that with, The rush of your skin The contact and touch Of our bodies entwined With such emotions combined You simply blow My mind. If you could see your reflection in my eyes Or feel your breath upon my face As we enthrall in this intimate embrace You would understand. Understand how I crave your beautiful imperfection Run through my veins Make my heart race Like a lethal injection And you control the beat. Yes you control the rhythm To which our bodies dance We begin to move Lost completely in a passionate groove As your hips move and mine move with 'em. Until our bodies beat And collapse with exhaustion Then our eyes meet And reveal to one another That our minds are not yet done For they are connected in more ways than one Now when our bodies rest It is time for our souls to connect and confess What is truly happening here As mine whispers in your ear: I need you to believe I love what you do to me.

0

Jan 17, 2012

Jan 17, 2012 at 2:39 AM UTC

hunter-shields

What You Do To Me

You don't know what you do to me. You can't even imagine Can't begin to fathom What goes on in my mind When I catch That look in your eye The taste of you lips Upon contact with a magical kiss Mix that with, The rush of your skin The contact and touch Of our bodies entwined With such emotions combined You simply blow My mind. If you could see your reflection in my eyes Or feel your breath upon my face As we enthrall in this intimate embrace You would understand. Understand how I crave your beautiful imperfection Run through my veins Make my heart race Like a lethal injection And you control the beat. Yes you control the rhythm To which our bodies dance We begin to move Lost completely in a passionate groove As your hips move and mine move with 'em. Until our bodies beat And collapse with exhaustion Then our eyes meet And reveal to one another That our minds are not yet done For they are connected in more ways than one Now when our bodies rest It is time for our souls to connect and confess What is truly happening here As mine whispers in your ear: I need you to believe I love what you do to me.

41

You want to raise your hand Against her. Well I raise my hand against you In question. Do you feel strong? Do you feel tough? Do you feel good, Thinking you're in the right? Just how ****** In the head are you? And the most important question: How fast can you run ****** Where will you hide? You call it teaching, Training, Instruction. Well come to my class And I'll teach you Oh how I will teach you About abuse, Torture, Breaking Points. For your bones will break Like her heart. And your eyes will cry, Like her soul.

0

Dec 10, 2011

Dec 10, 2011 at 7:34 PM UTC

hunter-shields

Class Is In Session

You want to raise your hand Against her. Well I raise my hand against you In question. Do you feel strong? Do you feel tough? Do you feel good, Thinking you're in the right? Just how ****** In the head are you? And the most important question: How fast can you run ****** Where will you hide? You call it teaching, Training, Instruction. Well come to my class And I'll teach you Oh how I will teach you About abuse, Torture, Breaking Points. For your bones will break Like her heart. And your eyes will cry, Like her soul.

26