i'm lost in a maze of gyri and sulci
tiptoeing over memories
triggering reflexes still out of my control
over an irreparable foundation
what is the use in trying to piece scraps together
when the final product is no work of art
but an unpalatable ********** of a thing
that once was called love
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 6:27 PM UTC
i remember those days when we would walk for hours and hours under the hot, beating sun with no destination in mind. nowhere to go, no one to see. just you, me, and the sun.
our bones were brittle, our cheeks were flushed, our bodies were sore. but we didn’t care. we had stopped caring about the little things.
we would laugh until our lungs burned and wake up every day thinking, “god, this really is a beautiful world if you make it one.”
we would smile until our cheeks hurt and pray that it would rain so we could dance in it.
we would sing until our throats were like sandpaper and lie down in the grass at night and look up at the stars.
we were wild.
we were beautiful.
we were free.
we were lost, but god, we were free.
one day you woke up and something shifted inside your heart and you said that you didn’t believe this was a beautiful world. you didn’t believe in you, or me, or us.
you didn’t want to laugh until your lungs burned or smile until your cheeks hurt or sing until your throat was like sandpaper.
you didn’t want to dance in the rain or look up at the stars.
one day i woke up and you were gone.
no note. no explanation. no goodbye. just gone.
you are gone, and i am still here.
i am still here, but now i wake up every morning wondering how i could have ever seen this world as beautiful.
i only like the rain now because it makes the sun a little more bearable (i’ve stopped dancing in it).
i don’t pay much attention to the stars anymore. all i know is that they make me feel just a bit less lonely.
it’s just me and the sun now, though sometimes i can feel you lying next to me and i reach over to grab your hand or look at you or say something but all i have is the sun.
not you.
we were never lost, you know. we just didn’t want to accept that we had always been found.
(a.m.)
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 6:31 AM UTC
"we broke up"
no
we did not
"break up"
you left me
you gave up
and quit
just like that
like it was nothing
it was never mutual
and i never agreed
yet i just had to accept it
i couldn't then
but now i do...
begrudgingly
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 8:54 PM UTC
i thought i moved on
he drove himself into me so hard
i felt static in the tips of my fingers and toes
i was sure i was over you
but when he was in me
all i could think about was
that time you told me
you'd love me forever
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 9, 2014 at 7:18 AM UTC
Everytime we touched,
I felt a spark.
Eventually it grew to a flame
That destroyed me slowly.
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 9:12 AM UTC
we're partners in crime
(if crimes were adventures)
and we were adventurers
(if adventures were conversations)
and we shared discussions
(if discussions were love songs)
and you made me sing them
(if singing was sharing)
and all of your wisdom words and stories
(if lies were true)
and we actually met
(if i wasn't me)
and you weren't you
(if we weren't friends)
we'd be perfect
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 12:33 PM UTC
it's kinda ******
you don't really have a choice
you know like AA
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 11:47 AM UTC
I am a slave to the world...
I want to be free...
But the thing is,
I don't know how.
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 8:04 PM UTC
nothing hurts better than that dry friction
piercing deep into my most frigid parts
warming me up then melting me down
into a formless mass of something
yet it's the only time i feel nothing
and nothing hurts better
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 29, 2014 at 6:41 PM UTC