hillary-holt - Hello Poetry

one You were my very first kiss, But it became obvious that you loved roly polies more than me It was never meant to work between us. two Behind a tree at recess, I showed you mine and you showed me yours We were too young to feel ashamed of our bodies We were pirates exploring a brand new sea At 6 years old, every touch was a good touch three You told me I was funnier than all the boys in the class You told me you hated going to mass on Monday mornings, too. You pushed me on the swings and didn’t ask me to push you back. I don’t even remember your name. four Thank you for trading me your favorite charzard pokemon card Thank you for being my friend Thank you for telling me you would miss me when I moved away I was lonely before I met you And after I unmet you five When it turned out that you were gay I thought to myself ‘this’ll be a funny story to tell my grandkids one day’ six When YOU turned out to be gay I decided maybe it would be better not to tell the grandkids seven Once we held hands in a middle school play 9 years later I watched you give your second interview on CNN So, I’m not saying that I am responsible for your amazing success, But I’m certainly not saying that either. eight After our first date, I called and told you That I missed you already. I still do. nine Maybe one day I’ll forget the exact shade of your eyes And the number of freckles sprinkled across your nose I think of you more often than I don’t. ten Once we talked on the phone for 7 hours, And when I told you I needed to go to sleep You asked me to keep the phone on and lay it beside my pillow You told me that you wanted my voice to be The first thing you heard in the morning. You said that you missed me terribly when I was gone. But you were a really terrible kisser. eleven When I think of you I think of broken glass. twelve You asked me to call you ‘Peachtree Jackson’ The first time I met you. And that’s when I knew I’d love you forever. thirteen I knew it was going to hurt when it started. I was too young, and you were too old. You were the first person to tell me that I had a beautiful mind You kissed me greedily like a diver coming up for air You are the reason I love poetry. You are the reason I hated high school. Your son is the spitting image of you, And I hope that your wife tells you she loves you every single day. fourteen We melted into each other like honey into warm tea Like new snowflakes into an open palm We swapped virginities like baseball cards You pressed your hands into my body like wet cement Now when I undress for another man I worry he can still see your finger prints I thought of you like a small child Who needed a hand to hold when he crossed the street You treated me like your favorite shirt Hung me carefully in the back of your closet Kept me in your darkest room Washed me out too many times and refused to throw me away When you noticed the seams start to rip You sewed your name into all my underwear So everyone would know who they belonged to fifteen I know that you love me But in a practical way. I really, really did want it to be you. sixteen Your laugh still makes me feel like candlelight Your sleepy morning smile is a lit up Christmas tree Your kiss is a comfy sweater fresh from the drier You were the first person I was afraid to sleep next to Not because I thought you would leave in the night, But because I was afraid to wake up ungracefully beside you I wish you had told me the last time I laid myself next to you Would be the last I would have hummed the sound of your breathing Committed each rise and fall of your chest to memory I would have whispered my love into your ear Instead of into your pillow You are still my favorite part of the last 4 years And I am the thrift shop you visit To remind yourself what becomes of the people you love When you’re gone seventeen This is for the love I have not yet met I don’t know when we’ll meet or where we’ll meet. It might be tomorrow or it might be 10 years from now. Right at this moment you might be standing 3,000 miles away from me Or you might be shopping for groceries at the supermarket down the street Wherever you are, I hope that you are thinking of me, too. But take your time, love. You don’t need to feel rushed. Whenever you’re ready to find me I’ll be here. Ready to add your name to my list.

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Mar 2, 2015

Mar 2, 2015 at 3:05 PM UTC

hillary-holt

To All The Boys I've Ever Loved

one You were my very first kiss, But it became obvious that you loved roly polies more than me It was never meant to work between us. two Behind a tree at recess, I showed you mine and you showed me yours We were too young to feel ashamed of our bodies We were pirates exploring a brand new sea At 6 years old, every touch was a good touch three You told me I was funnier than all the boys in the class You told me you hated going to mass on Monday mornings, too. You pushed me on the swings and didn’t ask me to push you back. I don’t even remember your name. four Thank you for trading me your favorite charzard pokemon card Thank you for being my friend Thank you for telling me you would miss me when I moved away I was lonely before I met you And after I unmet you five When it turned out that you were gay I thought to myself ‘this’ll be a funny story to tell my grandkids one day’ six When YOU turned out to be gay I decided maybe it would be better not to tell the grandkids seven Once we held hands in a middle school play 9 years later I watched you give your second interview on CNN So, I’m not saying that I am responsible for your amazing success, But I’m certainly not saying that either. eight After our first date, I called and told you That I missed you already. I still do. nine Maybe one day I’ll forget the exact shade of your eyes And the number of freckles sprinkled across your nose I think of you more often than I don’t. ten Once we talked on the phone for 7 hours, And when I told you I needed to go to sleep You asked me to keep the phone on and lay it beside my pillow You told me that you wanted my voice to be The first thing you heard in the morning. You said that you missed me terribly when I was gone. But you were a really terrible kisser. eleven When I think of you I think of broken glass. twelve You asked me to call you ‘Peachtree Jackson’ The first time I met you. And that’s when I knew I’d love you forever. thirteen I knew it was going to hurt when it started. I was too young, and you were too old. You were the first person to tell me that I had a beautiful mind You kissed me greedily like a diver coming up for air You are the reason I love poetry. You are the reason I hated high school. Your son is the spitting image of you, And I hope that your wife tells you she loves you every single day. fourteen We melted into each other like honey into warm tea Like new snowflakes into an open palm We swapped virginities like baseball cards You pressed your hands into my body like wet cement Now when I undress for another man I worry he can still see your finger prints I thought of you like a small child Who needed a hand to hold when he crossed the street You treated me like your favorite shirt Hung me carefully in the back of your closet Kept me in your darkest room Washed me out too many times and refused to throw me away When you noticed the seams start to rip You sewed your name into all my underwear So everyone would know who they belonged to fifteen I know that you love me But in a practical way. I really, really did want it to be you. sixteen Your laugh still makes me feel like candlelight Your sleepy morning smile is a lit up Christmas tree Your kiss is a comfy sweater fresh from the drier You were the first person I was afraid to sleep next to Not because I thought you would leave in the night, But because I was afraid to wake up ungracefully beside you I wish you had told me the last time I laid myself next to you Would be the last I would have hummed the sound of your breathing Committed each rise and fall of your chest to memory I would have whispered my love into your ear Instead of into your pillow You are still my favorite part of the last 4 years And I am the thrift shop you visit To remind yourself what becomes of the people you love When you’re gone seventeen This is for the love I have not yet met I don’t know when we’ll meet or where we’ll meet. It might be tomorrow or it might be 10 years from now. Right at this moment you might be standing 3,000 miles away from me Or you might be shopping for groceries at the supermarket down the street Wherever you are, I hope that you are thinking of me, too. But take your time, love. You don’t need to feel rushed. Whenever you’re ready to find me I’ll be here. Ready to add your name to my list.

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I wish I was the shot glass That makes you drunk When it kisses your lips

0

Feb 6, 2015

Feb 6, 2015 at 6:32 PM UTC

hillary-holt

Lush

I wish I was the shot glass That makes you drunk When it kisses your lips

4

Today my friend looked me in the eyes and told me that If I give any more of myself away, I’m not going to have any parts left for myself But I don’t need any more of me. I have too much of me. I want to give it all away. Even when I know that it’ll end up at the bottom of your backpack or forgotten in a laundry basket or on the ground outside of your favorite coffee shop I want to give and give until you can’t empty out your pockets without finding pieces of me. I want you to go to a baseball game, sing the national anthem, and put your hand over your heart Only to realize that there’s a perfect indention in the shape of my hand in the middle of your chest, pushing Beating for you I want to fill your lungs with my breath Even though I know I’ll never get it back Just so I know every sigh is of me I want to be your oxygen mask To suffocate knowing that you can breathe a little bit easier I’ll give my hands to your ribcage, So maybe I can feel how you hold yourself together. I’ll give my lips to your body Leaving secrets down your neck, and your shoulder blades, your hip bones Stitch together the scars you’ve left open with the most private parts of me Until you can hold another person in your arms without splitting yourself apart I want to give it all away. Until I run out of me to give you, or things to leave behind And once you’ve collected all of me. Every hidden inch of my being When you find me under your fingernails, in the melody of your favorite song Hidden in your bedsheets And all I can do is rework the scraps I have left Into a frame that might resemble a person who remains Unapologetically full I will still wish I could give you more.

0

Feb 6, 2015

Feb 6, 2015 at 4:19 PM UTC

hillary-holt

For Giving

Today my friend looked me in the eyes and told me that If I give any more of myself away, I’m not going to have any parts left for myself But I don’t need any more of me. I have too much of me. I want to give it all away. Even when I know that it’ll end up at the bottom of your backpack or forgotten in a laundry basket or on the ground outside of your favorite coffee shop I want to give and give until you can’t empty out your pockets without finding pieces of me. I want you to go to a baseball game, sing the national anthem, and put your hand over your heart Only to realize that there’s a perfect indention in the shape of my hand in the middle of your chest, pushing Beating for you I want to fill your lungs with my breath Even though I know I’ll never get it back Just so I know every sigh is of me I want to be your oxygen mask To suffocate knowing that you can breathe a little bit easier I’ll give my hands to your ribcage, So maybe I can feel how you hold yourself together. I’ll give my lips to your body Leaving secrets down your neck, and your shoulder blades, your hip bones Stitch together the scars you’ve left open with the most private parts of me Until you can hold another person in your arms without splitting yourself apart I want to give it all away. Until I run out of me to give you, or things to leave behind And once you’ve collected all of me. Every hidden inch of my being When you find me under your fingernails, in the melody of your favorite song Hidden in your bedsheets And all I can do is rework the scraps I have left Into a frame that might resemble a person who remains Unapologetically full I will still wish I could give you more.

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