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herentries
22/F free flow of thoughts that string into words.
Is the world-shaking, or is it just me?   Sweaty palms, Shortage of breaths. Unease. “Oh no, I feel like throwing up.” I wish the world could pause right now, Even if it would only last for a few seconds. Few seconds is what I craved. I canceled the plans with my girlfriends. I canceled the staycation that was booked one and a half months ago. I canceled the language class I was supposed to attend. Parts of me was actually excited. Until the thoughts started forming in my head, Leaving me stuck. I cried. My friends asked me, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I’m thankful that she asked. However, I wished those words would give me comfort. I wished I could say something to answer those questions. I wished I could put my emotions into words. My friends said, “It’s okay. You will be fine.” Will I? Will I ever be okay? It was as if I’m learning to breathe, But the fact that I’m underwater.
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Jun 14, 2021
Jun 14, 2021 at 10:00 PM UTC
How Anxiety feels like to me
Sometimes, life gets too loud. It makes me feel like an empty soul; filled by pools of people and drowned by waves of noises. Walking back and forth, without knowing the right direction. My own voice seems to be muffled along the way; Just like a broken record, its vote couldn't be heard clearly. Sometimes, life gets too loud. I choose the mute option. Perhaps, I just craving for a moment of silence.
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Oct 10, 2020
Oct 10, 2020 at 9:03 PM UTC
Life gets too loud.
I learned to plant the seeds of happiness. There are flowers blooming where the scars used to be. R.M.
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Oct 9, 2020
Oct 9, 2020 at 10:15 PM UTC
B l o o m i n g
It’s been way too long since I sit in the silence with the morning sky. Mellow blues, with streaks of pink. Fluffy clouds, Rosy hue. Every painted sky is indeed a canvas of Your grace. This endless canvas reminds me of Your endless love, eternal promises of Yours. Every single time when I look up, It reminds me how many times I failed you. And yet, you hold my hands, call my name, And say, “Come home.”
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Jul 4, 2020
Jul 4, 2020 at 7:50 PM UTC
New Dawn
When I started loving you, I thought I figured out what love is. I thought we would co-write our love story, documenting our love adventures in every chapter. Walking down the aisle is the written finale. Happily ever after would be the epilogue. But things changed ever since you left. I was desperately seeking for signs to stop thinking of you. But somehow everything reminds me of you. Couldn't stop scrolling my phone, Couldn't help but to think the phone call, the text messages, would it be you?
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Jul 2, 2020
Jul 2, 2020 at 11:31 PM UTC
when I started loving you (II)
When I started loving you, I thought I figure out what love is. The first date we had. The white dress I wore. The necklace you bought. With the initial of yours. When I started loving you, I thought I figure out what love is. But not until you left, ripping the fabrics of my life, leaving me at our favourite place, leaving me alone, With you no longer by my side. To be continued...
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Jun 30, 2020
Jun 30, 2020 at 8:14 AM UTC
when I started loving you (I)
She cared more than anyone so she hurt more than anyone like a knife in the heart she bled for everyone and when she needed someone no one was there because unlike her no one cared
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Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020 at 8:56 PM UTC
Empath
You saw me smile I hid my pain You heard me laugh The tears you never saw You held me tight You never knew i wanted to run You watched me sleep You never saw the nightmares You heard me sing The anger you never felt You thought i was happy How wrong you were You never knew
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Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020 at 10:19 AM UTC
you never
So, my words, Could not reach your heart, Maybe then, My silence would
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Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020 at 6:44 AM UTC
Silence
"Words doesn't hurt." They said. "Come on, be tough." They said. "I care about you." They said. "I love you, always." They said. I fall for what they said. I got hurt and bruises from what they said. After all, everything that they said are nothing, but empty promises and lies.
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Jun 27, 2020
Jun 27, 2020 at 12:53 AM UTC
They said.