heather-danielle-ashley
27/F/American
Poetry is what keeps me sane when everything else in my world is crashing and burning. I write mostly about my expirience with chronic illness. I have thus far published one book of poems called "The Bright Side of Dark". Poetry is life.
The screen stares back into my tired eyes
as if snow fallen freshly from the starless sky.
My fingers rest upon random keys
as a sailor stuck on calm, unmoving seas.
The thoughts suspend inside my head
as if I were a corpse, freshly dead.
I am a writer who cannot write
as if I were the moon without a night.
Sep 15, 2019
Sep 15, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC
It is like you are on another planet
and the planet I live on is slowly losing oxygen
minute by minute I breathe a little heavier.
The only way to survive is to get your attention,
yet there is absolutely no way to reach you,
no matter how loud I scream for “HELP!”.
Pretty soon it will be completely depleted ,
and I will die probably grasping my throat,
while you remain on your perfect faraway planet
breathing just fine and none the wiser.
Jun 12, 2019
Jun 12, 2019 at 3:55 PM UTC
Big. Large. Curvy. Voluptuous.
No. I am fat, and that is okay.
You use flowery words
to dignify my existence
in an attempt to not hurt my feelings.
You drop these terms like
petals fallen from a cherry tree,
so delicately, so artfully, so daintily
yet they beat upon my heart
like a violent downpour.
By avoiding the word "fat"
you have accomplished the opposite
of your intention.
By avoiding the word "fat"
you are telling me that how
I look is inherently wrong.
By avoiding the word "fat"
you only confirm that I am
something to be massively ashamed of.
I am not ashamed of my body
though I do struggle to love myself
in a society that tells me I am not worthy
by avoiding three little letters,
or using them to insult me,
but I do not take offense.
Big. Large. Curvy. Voluptuous.
No. I am fat, and that is okay.
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 10:55 AM UTC
I watch from the outside
because I cannot seem to move
towards smiling faces, laughing.
I stand here with something to prove.
A poetry reading, a crowded pub,
even just a trip to the local store
are mountains that stand before me,
over which I achingly long to soar.
Home has beccome my sanctuary,
imprisoning me in my shell.
Alone I find my inner peace,
alone I find my inner hell.
This duality is laughable,
paradoxically holding me in stasis.
I have the ability to act
but my potential is simply wasted.
At their mere thought of people,
I sweat profusely, my heart pounds
and no matter what I do
I cannot seem to calm myself down.
What am I supposed to do?
How do I change what I feel?
How can I convince myself
that the fears I have are not real?
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 10, 2018 at 11:51 AM UTC
I am drawn to the possibility
of your ****** feathers,
black, blue, white, endless variety;
chances I will never take.
I am awed by the beauty
of you soaring high above the world,
your song echoes in my heart;
A life I will never live.
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 4:36 PM UTC
I am a fool,
I know this to be true,
that I should dream
of the morning dew
covering the unkempt grass,
while birds sing wistfully
a song nothing else could surpass.
Yet the night is beautiful,
a darkness I call home,
still I dream of morning
while laying here all alone.
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 10:17 AM UTC
I never knew that I could feel
desirable, beautiful, and strong
because I've always been told
the way that I look is all wrong.
I am a large woman,
so I must not be appealing,
I have been cruelly brainwashed
into shamefully concealing
my body and even my mind
all because I was assured
that love, I would never find.
Suddenly my world has opened
and slowly my confidence has grown
all because he came into my life
and called me his very own.
I am now certain of my beauty
though it is a tragedy that I could only see
after he entered my life
and declared that he truly wanted me.
I look back in utter disgust
that I didn't see it long before
a man showed me my worth
by gracing my bedroom door.
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 10:13 AM UTC
Take me away.
I can’t stand my reality,
so I will consume yours
like a ravenous beast.
I care more about the people
who live in your world
than those in my own,
I consume and feed; a beast.
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 8:29 AM UTC
Overfilled stomachs, sick on fried food.
Too many people, all of them smiling
and having a grand time, oblivious.
Children begging for what they don’t need.
Mothers pushing strollers, with a glow
next to their husbands who stand tall.
So much noise, senseless chatter, laughter.
I sit alone at a picnic table, surrounded by strangers
the sun beats down on my pale skin, I nearly faint.
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 7:25 AM UTC
This tedium is suffocating
sitting here like a good girl waiting
for your love, a hint or smile
just to tide me over for awhile.
It’s like a drug, they didn’t lie,
when you touch me I get high.
I need a fix as I sit here, still
I would wait an eternity for the thrill.
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 4:41 PM UTC