My problem is I always fight for him.
I feel him pulling away and I dig my fingernails in a little more.
I make sure there's more blood in the room.
And then there's the teeth
and I'm throwing them at him hoping they'll lodge in his shoulder blades.
And then there's the red on my chin, my shirt, seeping into my chest
and I'm looking at him for answers but he's still walking away.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014 at 10:24 AM UTC
Remember when I came home one day crying and cold and you spilled I love you's out like the solitaire cards on the compute when you wait until the end to right click?
But the crying didn't stop like it used to. Your bandages couldn't keep in what was leaking out of me.
We learned we shouldn't use I love you's to make up for the things we couldn't give each other.
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 2:37 PM UTC
Do not be afraid of your anger
That boy was the **** of the earth and do not feel like
You must hold your composure
Erupt and chew him to pieces
Because somewhere along the way girls were told to be proper
And cut their food into mouse-sized bites and
then rest your fork down between pieces.
Well I'm telling you to use your canines the way they were intended
Go straight for the good meat
The raw meat hanging from the bones of the boys who came first
and left you alone in your bed at 1:44 am
Sink your teeth into his jugular
And swallow the pieces whole
Drink his blood until he feels as defeated as you did
But mostly, do not be afraid of your anger, girl.
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 2:33 PM UTC
The kind of thinking that gets me in trouble
Lavender and Lemon and bouquets on the counter
Here comes the white smoke
Here comes the sound
My bags on the floorboards my sanity stripped down
I've gone to the west coast
Now I'm headed for home
Don't know where that is
But I was built to roam
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 4:21 PM UTC
I advise you.
Do not seek shelter in her.
Do not let her hear you sit to catch your breath;
she will throw you to the wolves.
Running.
She always wants you running.
Either toward her or away from her.
But don't let her catch you sitting.
Do not crawl under her skin and think it a warm place to be.
She lives there.
She knows it's not.
She will bleed you out like a sickness.
Do not let her find your toothbrush behind her earrings
or your fingernail clippings in her pocket.
She will throw you out like a cheater or a thief.
Get out of your easy chair
Do not rest
and Maybe you'll stay
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 3:48 PM UTC
When she chooses me
God she chooses me
All hands and teeth and nails and she's saying things to me like
Put your hands on my neck
And whispering things like
*** into me
But when she doesn't choose me
It's a distance I've never known
A shoulder car colder than this winter
My toes are frozen in my boots
My stomach growls insistently
My tongue sprouts hair and sticks painfully to my mouth
Though I don't protest
I simply sit at the shoreline awaiting the next pummeling of blood, salt, and passion
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 3:43 PM UTC
I often think I'm over loneliness.
I got a new job. I live with new people. I talk to my mom.
I sit down in a chair to file my nails and the leather touches my skin and I'm sick.
Something about the leather on my skin makes my head spin and I can't hold my eyes open.
It's profound and all consuming and then it passes.
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 3:39 PM UTC
If love were enough,
We'd have a small apartment in Milan.
We'd watch the sun set on the roof and drink the stars into the night sky.
We'd blend our mouths together like the colors from our eyes.
I'd cut myself open so you could see inside.
Our house would smell like lavender and our soaps like lemon.
Afternoon tea would be a ritual on par with morning coffee.
Showers would be shared,
Our lives would be wide,
And our love great.
oh Babe, if love were enough.
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014 at 3:31 PM UTC
"It hurts" the boy said without moving his lips
"Here," the girl touched her fingers to the boy's eyelids, "let me feel."
And they stayed like that for a long time, in silence, until tears fell from the girl's eyes,
And the boy said, "See?"
And the girl said, "Feel."
The girl felt weighted, but the boy looked lighter
So every time the boy got the heavy look in his eyes
The girl touched them to draw the pain out of him and into her.
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM UTC
I'm getting pulled to the clouds again.
I keep trying to get up high.
My hair is standing on end.
Dec 9, 2013
Dec 9, 2013 at 9:06 PM UTC