forgive me father for I have sinned
I can't repent
I am not your child
forgive me father for I don't believe
I am not pure
I do not give my body to Christ
forgive me father for I am an adulterer
I have laid with man before marriage
I did not save myself
forgive me father,
or not.
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 25, 2017 at 2:00 PM UTC
I forgot to tell you
I am strong
I am brave
I am going to persevere
You didn't hear me
when I told you
You are kind
You are loving
You are here for a reason
Now I am here
and I am filled with regret
because
it seems as if you
never heard me
and I know you never will
I stood there
and smiled for you
I sat next to you
as you cried
you never saw
that I couldn't
smile for myself
you never saw that
I was crying too
I gave you everything
and you repaid me
by treating me like ****
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 18, 2017 at 12:20 PM UTC
I go through times
where
I cannot stomach
living.
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 18, 2017 at 11:50 AM UTC
I go through times
where
I cannot stomach
living.
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 18, 2017 at 11:50 AM UTC
I am staring
and they aren't here,
yet I see them
I feel so wrong.
she is on the ground;
crying about
broken zippers.
I am empty.
I force myself to smile
and say
"I'm having fun."
this isn't right
Jan 31, 2017
Jan 31, 2017 at 9:11 AM UTC
it could have been
the sound
of my heart
breaking
with every laugh
and smile
that I forced
Jan 31, 2017
Jan 31, 2017 at 9:03 AM UTC
that split second
that I saw her face
and how it twisted in pain
it haunts me
the way the light hit her was almost
cinematic
she is hurting
and I cannot help
she wont let me
but I understand
no matter how much
I wish I didnt
she doesnt want to
burden me with what she is feeling as if it
somehow will scare me away
but what she doesnt know
is I am here to stay
and no matter
the amount of tears
that she sheds
or the words she yells
she simply cannot get rid of me
but, if she holds it inside
I will surely lose her
because you should have seen her face
and how it told me
everything
without
a single word
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 9:25 AM UTC
I laugh at the ones who want me,
because I know they'll never love me
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 9:17 AM UTC
fear has ruined me
making it hard
to live a simple life
something has permanently
damaged me
making it okay to hide
from the things
that make me shake
a growing nausea
that I thought Id outgrow
but
I am an adult
and I still cant look
someone in the eye
no matter
how comfortable
they hate me
they love me
I annoy them
I adore them
I am afraid that
no matter how much
I grow
this fear will still be inside
like hot embers
eating away at me
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 9:14 AM UTC
everything about me is sick.
maybe in the rad way i used to be,
or maybe i'm just ill.
there are worse things.
my body could turn on me
while my mind is going sour.
(my soul is rotting you can smell it on my breath.)
my eyes are always open
and life-
it isn't sweet enough.
sweat drips down my spine
and i shiver while someone
whispers hallelujah in the silence.
(i'm sorry but i am no longer a green girl. my leaves are turning brown.)
albert kamus is this
absurd enough for you:
loving and loving, running dry?
everyone says i'm not a waste
of the space
i've been occupying
but i dare not occupy yours.
you are too clean,
and god, am i sick.
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 6, 2016 at 1:43 PM UTC