The summer sun shines on your face
And I can see you smile
And I feel like the luckiest girl
To be holding our hand for a while
Half the time it feels like
I'm the one to hold your heart
The other half it feels like I don't even know who you are.
And I,
When push comes to shove.
And I,
It's heart to see
Invisible Love.
Apr 16, 2021
Apr 16, 2021 at 1:48 AM UTC
Sometimes I dig in the past
Like toes in the sand searching for the cool damp of the ocean’s kiss
I want to feel the things I felt before
See the memories like movie screens across my eyes
The love that I shared
With each and every shining constellation
Some brighter than others
But pinpoints in my sky
The homes that I had
The comfort that only exists in the caverns of my mind
The joy and the sorrow and the blinding hot pain
The mistakes and the triumphs and the life that I’ve made
It all considered, I’d never change a ******* day
But what day was the best that I had?
Which life was the one that was bad
Who’s kiss was the one
I should of held on to
Whose soul was made
Of the same parts as mine
In the end it’s as insignificant as the seconds that pass by without my notice
Nothing at the time,
But everything in the end.
Dec 23, 2020
Dec 23, 2020 at 7:56 PM UTC
There is music in me
Bursting, aching, leaking
I'm singing involuntarily
Crying like an addict
Who hasn't used in months
History repeats itself
Over, and over, and over
A father is always farther
How many times
Can one dad die
I try to strum the chords
But my fingernails bleed
I try to sing the words
Out of my wasted vocal chords
But this rotten, useless music
Was his to pass down
And mine to drown in
A heart that feels too much
And can't beat a single time
Without bleeding on his hands
Dripping in his eyes
Always blind to see
The pain of this consuming me.
Feb 27, 2020
Feb 27, 2020 at 9:05 PM UTC
At times when mirrors are strangers and freckles under eyes and on hands are shadows or dirt
In depths when the heart is a void and the earth is a slippery place
In places of hollows and dark are more recognizable than the light that you see and the voices you hear
In worlds where memories lie and whisper you home once again
Where did I go? What love is this, for no one and nothing and perhaps not even me
The past and the future and the present have no boundaries, and mean nothing to me anyway
I’m lost, but who is looking for me? If not even myself?
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 23, 2019 at 9:38 PM UTC
Your face is imprinted on my mind
Like the sun behind closed eyes
Do you feel it?
That smolder; that simmer in your gut
That tells you that just a glance is not enough
I want you taste you, know the flavor of your skin
I want to know the frequency of the world you’re living in
I see the parallels between us and know they’re true
But how it’s hard to start something like this from something new
I want to scrub my hands over the stubble on your cheek,
Stare into your sea green eyes and make you weak
I want to know you as a soul and as a body and as a mind
I want to be the girl you wanted to find
Can you feel it? In every day, every passing hour
The magnetism, the spark
The flame that won’t turn sour
Maybe it’s an illusion
Sand swept away by the sea
But I can tell the fire in you
Is aflame by the spark in me
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 8:27 PM UTC
Flashbacks
Is that what you call them?
It’s PTSD
Apparently
But it feels more like dreams
When I slip away
And all I can feel is the exact texture of your skin
The feel of the dining hall paper cup on my tongue
The ginger ale mixed with whatever
The sound of the songs we would listen to
Over and over
Because we loved them
We felt the bass in our bones
The timbre in our lungs
The lyrics reverberated from our throats
Everyone else would find this repetitive
We found this human
To endure through a song that made you feel alive
To let it slip around you like water
As our bodies submerged into one
With no clear end or beginning
Of the action or the thought
When did our hearts sour
When did that action turn evil
When did you touch me and have me turn to stone
Instead of spark me to life
Not willingly, but for survival
Like spitting the poison that once was wine
I remember those embraces late at night
Or in rivets during the day
Our faces turned to the mirror
My body pressed to the carpet
As yours pressed to my skin
And we watched each other
The animal fire in our eyes
The feeling that no one ever would feel this
We would never feel this
But with each other
And never again
Feb 8, 2018
Feb 8, 2018 at 8:48 PM UTC
I don't hope
I don't pray
Because without you dear,
You're so far away
I've bled my blood
I've cried my tears
Still the pain don't get better
After all of these years
Who's gonna stop you now?
Now that you're on top of the world
Now that she's finally your girl
Was it a huge relief?
To brush me right off of your sleeve
Stop pretending that you really loved me
And never have to come clean
I guess that's how life really works
The naive will always get hurt
For playing the games of the broken
Which leave you in shame in the dirt
And did it feel good all the same?
To leave me with all of the blame
I knew all along that you loved her
So I guess that I cannot complain
Fool me once! You love me
Fool me twice! You were mine
The one thing that I'm at fault for
Is waiting all that time
Your body was my temple,
I worshipped at your feet
How could I've known Revelations
Would rise up with your deceit
If you were my heaven
Just let me burn in this hell
And if that fire reminds me of you
It's better than a million farewells
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 9:06 PM UTC
Two people are sitting at a table
in the afternoon, it is winter
and cold outside, dark in the room
She is dizzy and sad
from sipping the flat beer
of her own voice
He is like a stranger
who just blew in
she knows, if a man is sand
those who walk through
the desert are men
He is thinking of a stone
that flies in the dew
of the moonlight, an easy
thing for a sad man to do
I wonder if it was night
and they left together for separate
beds in different rooms
Would he think of her dress
falling down her waist,
or would she be in the jungle
making plans from the enemy's sleep
In a place like this, together,
looking into a table
wet from its own darkness,
What do they need,
what can they say?
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 8:59 PM UTC
you are new hope
for an old soul
you set me on fire
and cool my bones
you've woken me up
from quiet, still sleep
you made my heart sing
where before it would weep
there's a beauty in you
that I didn't see
it snuck in like snow
and set my mind free
there's nothing careful in us
or timid, or mild,
instead there is flame
unbroken, run wild
I am not afraid
I will not back down
because I am me
when you are around
May 3, 2017
May 3, 2017 at 10:09 PM UTC