i used to write all the time
where's my motivation
where's my imagination
smoking packs is all i do
why am i so **** confused
i want to hide
i want to run
chasing dreams is not so fun
i feel alone in this big world
i'm like a clam that lost its pearl
my head keeps spinning
i'm not taking i'm not giving
life feels empty but i'll keep on living
the pain is strong but so am i
if i really try i can touch the sky
so i'll keep on fighting through the pain
**** the storms and **** the rain
i can do this there's no doubt
it's just so hard getting off the couch
Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 11:44 PM UTC
it’s like my body is a roller coaster
there
for anyones pleasure
what goes up
must come down
so enter me without any thought
until the ride is over and you can walk
away
power and strength all in your possession
and i am left with
nothing
because who wants to thank me
for the acceleration
the quickening of breath
the energy
the never ending rush of excitement
who wants to spend a few extra minutes on this roller coaster
smiling
with thankful eyes
maybe returning the favor?
oiling my gears and making me
sigh with pleasure
rather than
squeaking with pain?
but that is to much to ask
once you’ve reached the end,
and what was once up is now down,
and your heart is slowing its pace
you can go find another ride
another roller coaster
that will take you for a few spins
for a few minutes of satisfaction
until it is over and you’re tired
and i’m tired
but who cares
because the next ride starts now
and what goes up
must come down
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 5, 2016 at 8:48 PM UTC
two months ago, he pushed me into a corner and grabbed my breast
two months ago, he told me not to worry and groped away
two months ago, i frantically fought against his touch
two months ago, i was sexually assaulted.
one month ago, i was still the only one who know
one month ago, i blamed myself
one month ago, life seemed worthless
one month ago, i wanted to die
three weeks ago, i reached out for help
three weeks ago, i realized the trigger of all my self hate
three weeks ago, i came home hoping to leave it all behind
three weeks ago, i cried
today, i am numb to the memory
today, i don't give myself enough credit
today, i am still insecure because
two months ago, i was sexually assaulted.
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 11:51 AM UTC
Today is Self-Harm Awareness Day.
Wear orange to show your support.
To Self Harm survivors thank you for being a constant light
in a world that can be so dark.
To those currently struggling with Self Harm
I want you to know that you are more
than just the cuts and scars on your arms.
You are a warrior
and you have so many people including myself
cheering you on.
You will get through this struggle.
I believe in you.
You are greatness who will one day change the world.
Stay strong!
Keep fighting!
You got this!
I love you!
Sending you a million hugs and more!
Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 3:26 PM UTC
Stuck in my own prison
My thoughts have enchained me
Bound to these feelings that I crave
Desiring the closure that I deserve
You took my shallow heart and gave it depth
Then you left
Making me believe that there's so much more to hold on to
Then letting go
Now I'm the only one holding on
Also holding on to all these mixed emotions
While you let go of everything we had
I'm starting to think we never had it
Please disconnect me from these memories
I need to breathe
I inhaled you
You exhaled me
I give you more
You give me nothing
Now I'm trapped in this lost and found
And you'll never come back to reclaim what you once had
Maybe it's because you never lost it
You let it go and found something new..
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:03 PM UTC
when we remember
what the times have been
that made us into what
and who
we are today
we travel deep into our past
to hear our mother’s voice
our father’s not so friendly gripes
when we fouled up a task he gave to us
our friends, our teachers, our loves
whose interactions shaped
who we eventually have become
while we believe that we have always been
so independent and autonomous
it may be worth a moment to reflect
upon the influences
we are inclined to casually neglect
and recognize the fact
that we are always part
of that great whole
which we so desperately try
to disavow for individuality
only to recognize a few years later
the minimal common denominator
life is a wonderful excursion into space and time
always surprising, turning on a dime,
leaving us puzzled well unto the end
always intent to look beyond
the next bend of the river …….
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:01 PM UTC
I know girls who go through boys like they did toys on the playground
I know girls who pick at their skin and pull at their hair
I know girls who look so hard for love they give out their heart like it's extra change
I know girls who split their skins to stop the pain
I know girls who are so angry they are hateful, even mean
I know girls throw up in the bathroom after lunch, pretending no one heard them when they come out
I know girls with the universe in their eyes yet they can't see a star
I know girls who give themselves away to feel like someone cares
I know girls who hate their moms
I know girls who hate their dad
And I know girls that would rather die then be caught wearing a dress
I know girls who take too many pills, girls who party a little too hard
I know girls with strait A's since they were 6
I know girls who have panic attacks
There are girls with bones and girls with curves
Girls with hearts as cold as stone
But even with all the types
All the girls
We're all the same
Same love in our hearts
Same soul buried beneath layers of our skin
Truth is
We're all hurt
We all need each other
Girls need girls to get through what girls go through
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 11, 2016 at 12:51 PM UTC
wabi-sabi (n.) the discovery of beauty in imperfection; the acceptance of the cycle of life and death.
take a look around you,
breathe in the air.
relax and find your inner peace,
feel the wind brush through your hair.
with life comes death and with death comes sadness
but don’t think of the misery and pain.
think of the past and the beauty of life.
let your mind dance about in the rain.
no one is perfect and perfect is a lie,
so accept your flaws and live.
wake up each day with no regrets,
show the world all that you have to give.
find the beauty in the simple things of life
and embrace them with all you’ve got.
never forget that you’re a gorgeous human being
and people do love you a lot.
with life comes death and with death comes sadness
but don’t think of the misery and pain.
think of the past and the beauty of life.
let your mind dance about in the rain.
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 10, 2016 at 11:58 AM UTC
I was falling down, my face was masked into a frown,
I was giving up, my heart had felt enough,
And as I hurt, I thought it was the end,
I never knew, that you were just around the bend.
You took my hand, and helped me stand,
And then I smiled, I knew I’d have you for a while.
You were my saving grace, told me I was not a waste,
You’re my knight in shining armour,
My one and only lover.
You kissed my cheek, made my heart weak,
And then I smiled, I knew I’d have you for a while.
You are my life, my love, you make me fly just like a dove,
You’re my knight in shining armour,
My favorite kind of charmer.
And now, I don’t know, what I would do without you.
You’ve showed me things that I never knew that I could do.
I was falling down, my face was masked into a frown,
I was giving up, my heart had felt enough,
And as I hurt, I thought it was the end,
I never knew, that you were just around the bend.
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 3:24 PM UTC