haley-banc - Hello Poetry

What happened to your arm? Box-cutter at work What happened to your arm? My roommate’s pit-bull What happened to your arm? Scraped it on a fence running from the cops ha-ha What happened to your leg? Sliced it while shaving What happened to your leg? The ocean, uh, tossed me around pretty good this weekend! Hey, what happened to your leg? My roommate’s pit-bull Again? You really should say something He’s just playing What happened to your arm? Accident at work Another box-cutter? Yeah. You should really be more careful. I know. Haley, what happened to your ribs??? Must have been drunk, I have no idea Haley, what happened to your leg? And I wait for a meteor to crash into the earth.

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Sep 12, 2013

Sep 12, 2013 at 8:37 PM UTC

When it’s too early to sleep but too late to cry And everyone else but you seems to care when it’s appropriate to do either The skin just above your lips tastes of salt Your nostrils and skull under the same pressure Clogged with mucus and doubt, both trying to escape Can’t seem to get out So it sits there building up until you draw in swallowing Mucus, doubt, confusion, all absorbed into your body, filling the empty spaces from the last time you cried You drift off to sleep, and pray the sheets are not drenched with the leaking mess when you awake in the early afternoon. I wonder if you know how much that song affected me I know I called you and told you how timely it was, that text in the middle of talking to Tiana Lauren? Lauren. So out-of-the-blue, it was like you knew. Still, I wonder if you know just how much it assisted my decision... How I walked for hours wandering Brooklyn listening to that song on repeat hoping for a sign How my world stopped when I first heard it How I kept it from anyone who might have needed it because I thought I needed its magic all to myself. I thought that song would give me an answer. Maybe it did. I might have known the answer from day one. Sometimes I feel like I did, and I just didn't know how to handle it. All it really takes is one line and I’m in In like In lust In love "I’d rather you give up on life in the city then give up on life too." The connection convinced me it’s mine because I understand And no one else But that city chews up and spits out more people than downloads of that song I don’t know that for sure but I bet it’s true. Still, when I heard that line and a few others before it, I felt it was God singing them to me This could have been because I was looking for a sign. It could have fit so perfectly into my situation because I am not different at all in this aspect of my life; a lot of people go through this (and possibly even the band, resulting in the song itself) I haven’t listened to it since I left And right now, I’m thinking that’s a good thing. Call it selfish, delusional, illogical, Call it what you want but sometimes Like I told Laureen in the St. George dorm Sometimes, a lot of the time, I believe The world revolves around me Isn’t that normal though? Everyone’s view of the world is through their eyes So their life is, well, them. Maybe it’s bad to think my life will be a movie or a book one day Maybe everyone thinks that, or maybe not Maybe I’m a narcissist. No. I’m too fragile. I’m too caring. I’m too understanding. Wow, I might as well have said, I’m just too great to be a narcissist. Haha, got a laugh in, that’s good. Alison wrote me a letter the night before she left And gave it to me that morning, standing on the concrete sidewalk outside our building 100 Henry Street. Room 336 The hostility I had been feeling for months vanished, replaced with too many emotions to decipher but guilt leading strong Her letter may not have been three pages long It may not have been written with multi-colored sharpie markers It may not have been as visually pleasing as mine But it was perfect. And she was the only one who wrote me back. I read it when I need to, which is probably too often. One line. "To be honest Haley, you are very hard on yourself and sometimes you simply cannot make a choice and I want you to remember to keep breathing." One line. And more than one tear. Every single ******* time. Maybe because it’s true. The second I read it, I realized she was right While all year I loved to prove her wrong Alison, congratulations, you’re right. But you’re also wrong (see you can’t win) It’s not that easy to keep breathing when your Nose is filled with mucus and your head is packed with confusion And your nostrils are stuffed with the leaking confusing from your head It’s not so easy to keep breathing, then again you didn’t say it would be But it’s not so easy to keep breathing when you don’t even care if you stop.

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Aug 7, 2013

Aug 7, 2013 at 2:46 PM UTC

haley-banc

A stuffed nose, a leaking head, and a rambling mess with a lot of Maybes

When it’s too early to sleep but too late to cry And everyone else but you seems to care when it’s appropriate to do either The skin just above your lips tastes of salt Your nostrils and skull under the same pressure Clogged with mucus and doubt, both trying to escape Can’t seem to get out So it sits there building up until you draw in swallowing Mucus, doubt, confusion, all absorbed into your body, filling the empty spaces from the last time you cried You drift off to sleep, and pray the sheets are not drenched with the leaking mess when you awake in the early afternoon. I wonder if you know how much that song affected me I know I called you and told you how timely it was, that text in the middle of talking to Tiana Lauren? Lauren. So out-of-the-blue, it was like you knew. Still, I wonder if you know just how much it assisted my decision... How I walked for hours wandering Brooklyn listening to that song on repeat hoping for a sign How my world stopped when I first heard it How I kept it from anyone who might have needed it because I thought I needed its magic all to myself. I thought that song would give me an answer. Maybe it did. I might have known the answer from day one. Sometimes I feel like I did, and I just didn't know how to handle it. All it really takes is one line and I’m in In like In lust In love "I’d rather you give up on life in the city then give up on life too." The connection convinced me it’s mine because I understand And no one else But that city chews up and spits out more people than downloads of that song I don’t know that for sure but I bet it’s true. Still, when I heard that line and a few others before it, I felt it was God singing them to me This could have been because I was looking for a sign. It could have fit so perfectly into my situation because I am not different at all in this aspect of my life; a lot of people go through this (and possibly even the band, resulting in the song itself) I haven’t listened to it since I left And right now, I’m thinking that’s a good thing. Call it selfish, delusional, illogical, Call it what you want but sometimes Like I told Laureen in the St. George dorm Sometimes, a lot of the time, I believe The world revolves around me Isn’t that normal though? Everyone’s view of the world is through their eyes So their life is, well, them. Maybe it’s bad to think my life will be a movie or a book one day Maybe everyone thinks that, or maybe not Maybe I’m a narcissist. No. I’m too fragile. I’m too caring. I’m too understanding. Wow, I might as well have said, I’m just too great to be a narcissist. Haha, got a laugh in, that’s good. Alison wrote me a letter the night before she left And gave it to me that morning, standing on the concrete sidewalk outside our building 100 Henry Street. Room 336 The hostility I had been feeling for months vanished, replaced with too many emotions to decipher but guilt leading strong Her letter may not have been three pages long It may not have been written with multi-colored sharpie markers It may not have been as visually pleasing as mine But it was perfect. And she was the only one who wrote me back. I read it when I need to, which is probably too often. One line. "To be honest Haley, you are very hard on yourself and sometimes you simply cannot make a choice and I want you to remember to keep breathing." One line. And more than one tear. Every single ******* time. Maybe because it’s true. The second I read it, I realized she was right While all year I loved to prove her wrong Alison, congratulations, you’re right. But you’re also wrong (see you can’t win) It’s not that easy to keep breathing when your Nose is filled with mucus and your head is packed with confusion And your nostrils are stuffed with the leaking confusing from your head It’s not so easy to keep breathing, then again you didn’t say it would be But it’s not so easy to keep breathing when you don’t even care if you stop.

70

Today was a good day I’m trying not to ruin it Too late, I think I just did Nope No. Not yet. Still Good. Alright. Now what?

0

Jul 2, 2013

Jul 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM UTC

haley-banc

Bored If Not Down

Today was a good day I’m trying not to ruin it Too late, I think I just did Nope No. Not yet. Still Good. Alright. Now what?

9

Sunset warmth It's beautiful Golden light Is less than perfection When you are next to me Soaking up the rays and reflecting them back Making it more beautiful Than the sunset could Ever be

0

Apr 30, 2013

Apr 30, 2013 at 8:29 PM UTC

haley-banc

Ten seconds of your life

Sunset warmth It's beautiful Golden light Is less than perfection When you are next to me Soaking up the rays and reflecting them back Making it more beautiful Than the sunset could Ever be

10

Is it sad I’d rather die than see where this goes? It is sad I’d rather cry than allow this to compose? I know it’s sad when people say life is short But it’s even worse that I wish mine, were different I feel like I’m at my last resort. So many tell me to sit and figure it out But then a bunch more say it’s better to let go of doubt “Don’t worry, be happy” Been said before Sounds great and all, but easier said than done How do you all let go of your dreams? Is it just that easy for you? Life isn’t what it seems…(yeah I know) But why can’t it be the truth? Forever is impossible to reach, I’m coming to terms with fact But in fact maybe I can find that place Above all the stress and worry that is my life Somewhere else would easily suffice Somewhere outside of my head Somewhere from before I was three A place where my thoughts, my heart, and my future were free Now I’m trapped Confused is the better term Totally lost is more appropriate, actually I can’t even tell you how to explain it all factually I wish there was a time I remember when I didn’t feel this way Ask me, Ask me the last time I was happy I wouldn’t know what to say These have to be my darkest ages If I’m mistaken just count me out I’d rather it not get much worse than this Pathetic but sometimes I wish I had an excuse To feel so dead Hoping for a reason to drag on (this way) Hanging by a thread

0

Apr 30, 2013

Apr 30, 2013 at 8:14 PM UTC

haley-banc

January 24th

Is it sad I’d rather die than see where this goes? It is sad I’d rather cry than allow this to compose? I know it’s sad when people say life is short But it’s even worse that I wish mine, were different I feel like I’m at my last resort. So many tell me to sit and figure it out But then a bunch more say it’s better to let go of doubt “Don’t worry, be happy” Been said before Sounds great and all, but easier said than done How do you all let go of your dreams? Is it just that easy for you? Life isn’t what it seems…(yeah I know) But why can’t it be the truth? Forever is impossible to reach, I’m coming to terms with fact But in fact maybe I can find that place Above all the stress and worry that is my life Somewhere else would easily suffice Somewhere outside of my head Somewhere from before I was three A place where my thoughts, my heart, and my future were free Now I’m trapped Confused is the better term Totally lost is more appropriate, actually I can’t even tell you how to explain it all factually I wish there was a time I remember when I didn’t feel this way Ask me, Ask me the last time I was happy I wouldn’t know what to say These have to be my darkest ages If I’m mistaken just count me out I’d rather it not get much worse than this Pathetic but sometimes I wish I had an excuse To feel so dead Hoping for a reason to drag on (this way) Hanging by a thread

34

I am a perpetual plain of green My arms sway as grasses caught in the wind My hair a tangle of vines caught intertwined As my body lay on the hot ground, The vegetation wraps around my waste pulling me into roots Soon to recycle me into one of their own. A perpetual plain of green Vibrant in the sun and dry amongst the clouds Strangle me—knot the weeds around my heart I cannot cut through the thick roots So I let the garden grow Around myself, on my body Until I am… A perpetual plain of green Living with tall grasses as limbs And tangled vines as hair I wait for the field to perish For the vegetation to turn weak So I can fight my way out Crunching the dead as I crawl away But I am stuck in this Perpetual plain of green Located in a never-changing climate. Caught. Caged. Continually. In this perpetual plain of green.

0

Mar 18, 2013

Mar 18, 2013 at 12:51 AM UTC

haley-banc

I am Green

I am a perpetual plain of green My arms sway as grasses caught in the wind My hair a tangle of vines caught intertwined As my body lay on the hot ground, The vegetation wraps around my waste pulling me into roots Soon to recycle me into one of their own. A perpetual plain of green Vibrant in the sun and dry amongst the clouds Strangle me—knot the weeds around my heart I cannot cut through the thick roots So I let the garden grow Around myself, on my body Until I am… A perpetual plain of green Living with tall grasses as limbs And tangled vines as hair I wait for the field to perish For the vegetation to turn weak So I can fight my way out Crunching the dead as I crawl away But I am stuck in this Perpetual plain of green Located in a never-changing climate. Caught. Caged. Continually. In this perpetual plain of green.

26

little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes you should crave for nothing more this will grant you happiness, this will offer peace There is no such thing as disappointment or discontentment, or displeasure, or dissatisfaction when you acquire only little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes When you desire only such things that are within arm’s reach or near-sighted view Nothing is a let-down It can all be done reasonably And stress will only be something you witness In the lives of others, others who crave more than little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes Poor romantics And visionaries And idealists Their days must be spent Thinking of all the ends they will never cross Fantasizing of all they long for... I warned them, I tried to help them “little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes!” Yet some did not listen Now look where they are, Witness what they have become Nothing less Than Great Dreamers,Enormous Achievers,and Vast Seekers Nothing less Than Creators, makers and originators Desiring, doing and obtaining Poor ones, who just won't stop Those who just could not listen To the advice from a little Dreamer They must be miserable…

0

Mar 12, 2013

Mar 12, 2013 at 9:19 PM UTC

haley-banc

little Dreamer

little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes you should crave for nothing more this will grant you happiness, this will offer peace There is no such thing as disappointment or discontentment, or displeasure, or dissatisfaction when you acquire only little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes When you desire only such things that are within arm’s reach or near-sighted view Nothing is a let-down It can all be done reasonably And stress will only be something you witness In the lives of others, others who crave more than little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes Poor romantics And visionaries And idealists Their days must be spent Thinking of all the ends they will never cross Fantasizing of all they long for... I warned them, I tried to help them “little Dreams, small Goals, and tiny Hopes!” Yet some did not listen Now look where they are, Witness what they have become Nothing less Than Great Dreamers,Enormous Achievers,and Vast Seekers Nothing less Than Creators, makers and originators Desiring, doing and obtaining Poor ones, who just won't stop Those who just could not listen To the advice from a little Dreamer They must be miserable…

38