haley-8 - Hello Poetry

he sees the ocean in my eyes ringed with sunshine (he provides) he looks at me so steady holds my gaze until I laugh and look away brushes the hair from my cheek and whispers "you are gods perfect creation" and I feel something in me snap. he is the closest I will ever get to holiness. if religion felt like this, I would kneel with the best of them.

0

Apr 5, 2016

Apr 5, 2016 at 9:37 AM UTC

haley-8

an atheist's hymn

he sees the ocean in my eyes ringed with sunshine (he provides) he looks at me so steady holds my gaze until I laugh and look away brushes the hair from my cheek and whispers "you are gods perfect creation" and I feel something in me snap. he is the closest I will ever get to holiness. if religion felt like this, I would kneel with the best of them.

13

I eat overripe fruit bags of chips bowls of cereal and drink hot cups of coffee hundreds of water bottles leave everything strewn about for weeks. my clothes lay mixed clean and ***** covered in dog hair regardless. I can't bear to organize. every item shifted reveals an image of you, some remnant from a time forever lost.

0

Jul 7, 2015

Jul 7, 2015 at 8:49 PM UTC

haley-8

camouflage

I eat overripe fruit bags of chips bowls of cereal and drink hot cups of coffee hundreds of water bottles leave everything strewn about for weeks. my clothes lay mixed clean and ***** covered in dog hair regardless. I can't bear to organize. every item shifted reveals an image of you, some remnant from a time forever lost.

17

i hope the beast we share (our only remaining connection) keeps you up at night, pulls our old photographs and the letters i wrote you from the drawer where they rest and make you remember. i wonder if you kept the poster, the collage of our memories; i bet you burned it (just to see my face warp like you claim my heart did). i know you act like you don't care, like you're better off, like i was a bad friend to you, like i was never anything but exactly what you asked of me (i tell myself the same things, except when i say it, it's the truth). i need this beast to stalk you too. i can't be the only one to shoulder the weight of our heavy silence (why does it still hurt?).

0

Jun 5, 2015

Jun 5, 2015 at 10:22 PM UTC

haley-8

i hope it eats you too

i hope the beast we share (our only remaining connection) keeps you up at night, pulls our old photographs and the letters i wrote you from the drawer where they rest and make you remember. i wonder if you kept the poster, the collage of our memories; i bet you burned it (just to see my face warp like you claim my heart did). i know you act like you don't care, like you're better off, like i was a bad friend to you, like i was never anything but exactly what you asked of me (i tell myself the same things, except when i say it, it's the truth). i need this beast to stalk you too. i can't be the only one to shoulder the weight of our heavy silence (why does it still hurt?).

24

sometimes i trace my own hip bones in the dark, and run my fingertips over the curvature of my spine, pretending the warmth belongs to someone else. i speak my own name in my mind, imagining it's syllables spoken tenderly by a lover's tongue, each letter dripping with sugar. my fingertips itch for closeness, and curl around imaginary fingers, like wishful muscle memory. i have so much love to give. i have so much love to receive.

0

Mar 9, 2015

Mar 9, 2015 at 8:28 PM UTC

haley-8

hold my hand

sometimes i trace my own hip bones in the dark, and run my fingertips over the curvature of my spine, pretending the warmth belongs to someone else. i speak my own name in my mind, imagining it's syllables spoken tenderly by a lover's tongue, each letter dripping with sugar. my fingertips itch for closeness, and curl around imaginary fingers, like wishful muscle memory. i have so much love to give. i have so much love to receive.

13

i have so much love to give. i'm brimming with it. it moves in me like water, leaks out like the tide of the sea. when the moon gets too close, the love in me rises and struggles against my boundaries, pushes itself up my throat. my biggest obstacle is swallowing it back down, calming it, when the moon is eclipsed.

0

Feb 17, 2015

Feb 17, 2015 at 5:22 PM UTC

haley-8

pretender

i have so much love to give. i'm brimming with it. it moves in me like water, leaks out like the tide of the sea. when the moon gets too close, the love in me rises and struggles against my boundaries, pushes itself up my throat. my biggest obstacle is swallowing it back down, calming it, when the moon is eclipsed.

14

in autumn, gentle fingers press forget-me-not seeds between her teeth, warm lips breathe "i love you"s into her throat. all winter, she clenches her teeth, holds her breath, grins only in black and white. at the hint of spring, blue petals climb the cracks between white boulders, cultivate hope. with the heat of summer, she crunches ice, tries to excavate the reminders from her gums, comes home with ***** fingers and the taste of blood on her tongue.

0

Nov 25, 2014

Nov 25, 2014 at 8:32 PM UTC

haley-8

forget-me-not

in autumn, gentle fingers press forget-me-not seeds between her teeth, warm lips breathe "i love you"s into her throat. all winter, she clenches her teeth, holds her breath, grins only in black and white. at the hint of spring, blue petals climb the cracks between white boulders, cultivate hope. with the heat of summer, she crunches ice, tries to excavate the reminders from her gums, comes home with ***** fingers and the taste of blood on her tongue.

20

I know I must be hard to love. my body is all sharps angles, stretched tall and draped with gold. when you need me, I'm hard as steel, twice as cold. when you forget me, I'm soft as water, drowning in myself. my mother jokes, "don't ever get married." I laugh, tell her I won't. I try not to think about it. I don't know what I want.

0

Nov 16, 2014

Nov 16, 2014 at 11:50 AM UTC

haley-8

17

I know I must be hard to love. my body is all sharps angles, stretched tall and draped with gold. when you need me, I'm hard as steel, twice as cold. when you forget me, I'm soft as water, drowning in myself. my mother jokes, "don't ever get married." I laugh, tell her I won't. I try not to think about it. I don't know what I want.

11

lately the tears have been coming easier and i don't know if it's from loss or from gain but i do know that i feel everything. souls became real to me when mine wept into my favorite jacket at the sound of my best friend's voice breaking over the phone, and when it pressed up through my skin and forgot my body so that it could comfort every damaged mind it could sense. my heart hurts for me but it hurts more for you, and him, and her, and them, because they will never understand what it means to care this **** much. when the wind howls and rattles your shutters tonight, listen for my name. it knows me better than anyone.

0

Nov 9, 2014

Nov 9, 2014 at 4:29 PM UTC

haley-8

i don't believe in god but i believe in us

lately the tears have been coming easier and i don't know if it's from loss or from gain but i do know that i feel everything. souls became real to me when mine wept into my favorite jacket at the sound of my best friend's voice breaking over the phone, and when it pressed up through my skin and forgot my body so that it could comfort every damaged mind it could sense. my heart hurts for me but it hurts more for you, and him, and her, and them, because they will never understand what it means to care this **** much. when the wind howls and rattles your shutters tonight, listen for my name. it knows me better than anyone.

5

it's 6:12 in the evening and i have just arrived home after a long day of listening and seething (and crying) and drowning in a sea of oppression brought upon me not by my choice but by my mere birth while those around me argue that i can't be drowning because they don't know what water looks like

0

Nov 5, 2014

Nov 5, 2014 at 8:09 PM UTC

haley-8

Untitled

it's 6:12 in the evening and i have just arrived home after a long day of listening and seething (and crying) and drowning in a sea of oppression brought upon me not by my choice but by my mere birth while those around me argue that i can't be drowning because they don't know what water looks like

13

the problem with attachment is that it has to end. and the stronger the connection, the harder the end hits. it's these thoughts that plague me when i wonder who i was before you: what parts of me are really me and which parts of me are actually you? will i ever be able to distinguish between the two?

0

Sep 27, 2014

Sep 27, 2014 at 9:03 PM UTC

haley-8

leftovers

the problem with attachment is that it has to end. and the stronger the connection, the harder the end hits. it's these thoughts that plague me when i wonder who i was before you: what parts of me are really me and which parts of me are actually you? will i ever be able to distinguish between the two?

11