Sa bawat patak ng oras, ako'y nauubos.
Hindi mawaring isipin kung kumusta ka.
Iniisip mo ba ako? O ako lang ba ang nahulog?
Pilit kong itinatanim sa aking isipan na huwag magmadali.
Hayaan ang tadhanang gumawa ng paraan. Bigyang respeto ang tamang pagkakataon. Huwag nating pilitin.
Ngunit kasabay ng pagkumbinsi sa sariling huwag mangialam, nahahati ang aking isipan upang gumawa ng unang hakbang.
Ano nga bang mapapala ko kung hindi ako kikilos? Subalit sasagi sa isip ang posibilidad na mawala ka dahil sa mapupusok kong gawi.
Isang malaking palaisipan ang pag-ibig.
Hindi ito para sa mga mahihina ang puso.
Hindi ito para sa mga taong mabilis mahulog at madaling masaktan.
Minsan napapaisip ako kung bakit pa ba natin ito ginagawa?
Sa dinami-dami ng hirap, sakripisyo, at sakit nitong dulot, talaga bang may patutunguhan?
Sa tagal ng panahong ginugol kong mag-isa, naliwanagan ako sa aking halaga.
Karapat-dapat ako sa pagmamahal na buong-buo at mapagpalaya.
Ngunit, tangina naman. Bakit ganito kahirap mahanap?
Akala ko madali. Iwinaksi ko lahat ng hadlang na maaari kong malampasan.
Ginawan ng paraan at isinaayos ang sarili.
Pagkalingon ko'y ako bigla ang nahuli.
Halos lahat ng aking mga kasabayan nagkaroon na kani-kanilang katambalan.
Ang malas ko naman.
Bakit ako na lang ang hindi nabigyan? Hanggang sa dulo ba ay ganito pa rin?
Parusa ba ito sa salang hindi ko namalayang gawin?
Diyos ko, ano bang magagawa ko?
Anong ginawa ko upang maranasan ito?
Hindi naman sa pagdadrama.
Ang nais ko lamang ay isang makakasama. Iyong makakausap sa araw-araw nang walang sawa.
Iyong magbibigay sa akin ng atensyon at alaga. Ngunit kasabay nito, ako'y handa rin
Na isauli ang pagmamahal na aking nagkakandarapang kunin.
Isang pagkakataon lang po upang magsimula muli ang puso
Makadama ng pagmamahal na tapat at totoo
Makakaasa kayong hindi ko ito isusuko
Anoman ang pagsubok na aming matamo
Oct 27, 2019
Oct 27, 2019 at 7:23 AM UTC
It stabs like a knife
As cold strike my back
As your fingers make me twinge
As each bite a peck against my neck
It shoots like a gun
As your touch in bare skin
As your lips send jolts to my collar bones
As your words blast rainbows to my veins
It hangs like a rope
As the air in night conversations
As every stop makes me want more
As the heat surround our tangled bodies
It kills me like all of them combined
As jumping off a cliff
As drowning in an ocean
As living without you
Jul 7, 2015
Jul 7, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
Last time I wrote a poem
To grieve with my broken heart
I thought I'd give up and surrender
All my desires, fantasies, and feelings
But there came hope amidst
The dark nights of restless dreams
I thought of you--of us
How we can never be
A silver lining places itself
Catching the corner of my eye
It says light up the world--own it
It's your time to shine
I caught a glimpse of wide-eyed perfection
He flashes a smile to me
Utters a string of syllables, a whisper
"Can you be the one for me?"
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 9:05 PM UTC
I never chose to be alone
I was left waiting
as everyone around me
got their own partners
Each and everyone
finding someone
leaving me with a smaller possibility
to find mine
I busy myself
with responsibilities and obligations
no such luck
Certain distractions only last so much
I still wallow in deep thought
about the time I get to meet you, my dear.
I hope it would be perfect
As how they say it would be
With one glance
I'll fall in the abyss
of blissful uncertainty
With love comes the risk
to be vulnerable
the danger to get hurt
But, seeing all these couples around me
makes me desire
the thought of being hurt
because only then
can I know that I love
It is better than this feeling of loneliness.
Bitter images and emptiness
fill my broken hours
of insomniac wonderment
I stare blankly at a wall
keeping my normal self showing
as the world around me falls asleep
I lie awake thinking how unfortunate
it is to never be
someone's first thought in the morning
or someone's last thought of goodnight
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 6:57 AM UTC
Dear Blank,
I left your name blank because I don't know who you are,
or where you are.
Are you near, or are you far?
Dear Blank,
Sometimes I wonder if I truly need you,
Or if I'm better off on my own.
But I am scared: will you lift me up or hold me down?
Dear Blank,
Will I ever find you? Are you really there?
Or are you just a memory, and idea, a question--
A question, with no answer, or confession.
Dear Blank,
If I search, will I find you?
I would call out for you, but I don't know your name,
And all I see surrounding me is more of the same.
Dear Blank,
Are you really there?
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 7:42 AM UTC
I wish I could fly
Up to the sky
So that when I cry
My tears and my pain
Will blend with the rain
Then no one will know
I’m dying so slow
I’ll lie on a cloud
And fade away.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 7:16 AM UTC
Glasses empty with sweet brims
I inhale the calm and compassion
comes the soft flutter of sounds
I relax, loosen and finally slip
Drowsiness filled the windows of my soul
each tear bears the ocean of relief
with each passing minute I breathe
my love, my presence, my being
For if each sip of sweetness
a bitter memory to forget floats
the aftertaste of coffee causes
the sour feel of your skin in mine
Never look back for there is nothing
Relapses and rapid impulses be enemies
such cruelty and horrid words
once spoken never goes back in
Release anger and hate, turn away
Substitute smiles and apathy, break down
No longer will you be part forever
of one's once sweetheart couple
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 6:47 AM UTC
As I saw you smile
I broke with sweet paradox
Not just of its beauty
But the reason is not me
For months I have wondered
Who you are to me
Merely a friend? Maybe
Or something else I deny
Was it the familiar feel
Or was it the chemistry?
Everyone ties us together
But you cut the rope
You shut me out
I affirm with a smile
Concealing the cuts deep inside
I wallow in internal sadness
I can never be her
I can never replace
I face the truth I am no match
Even a chance is a blur
Sometimes the dark thoughts come
With sabotage, you can split
But will I be the same?
No because you won't
As much as I love having you
It will never compare
To see that sweet smile
Even if I am not the cause
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014 at 7:25 PM UTC
I’m a different girl
I’m one of a kind
The only one in the world
A girl that’s hard to find
An optimistic young woman who laughs and smiles
The exterior look of this girl can hide
The pain that goes for thousands of miles
Always saying “ I’m fine “ as her insides collide
A girl who’s lost in the world of reality
As she dreamt the world away
Finds a way to teleport and be in her fantasy
When she woke up the pain lost its way
I’m the girl who’s good at nothing
The awkward-looking little toddler
Not wanting to be involved in a thing
I’m the quiet one in the classroom corner
My emotions depend on the situation
But right now I’m surely delightful
Because you showed me appreciation
You read the poem that I find very truthful
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 5:53 AM UTC
With all the guys I met
He's the one I liked the best
Comes through everytime
This little klutz crosses the line
To paint a smile he never fails
"Laughs" at my horrid jokes
Shares his food with everyone
Thus maybe why he's hungry all the time
An open-book-- well, to me mostly
No judgments and fake compliments
But genuine advice and criticism
The truest I have met in years
Maybe it was right that I met him
For some reason I know I need him
Someone to cry on, cling to, and be yourself with
Talk about random things without the days passing
For such a simple guy you'll be mistaken
This one's something special I guarantee
Use my eyes to see
How wonderful this guy could be
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 11:30 PM UTC