Take me back to July
When we curled up in bed and curled up in each other
When every second was precious and the future was bright
And the shine of our potential was nearly blinding
But I stared and I didn't care if it blinded me
Because I loved you
Now there is nothing left
And I'm fighting to feel something again
And our future is foggy and cold
And dead
And I can't love you any more
Take me back to July.
Sep 21, 2015
Sep 21, 2015 at 3:46 PM UTC
Everytime we get pick and mix
I choose strawberry cables.
I know they were your favourite
At least, they were when I loved you
I make them last
Slowly teasing and *******
Gentle teeth and lips
Because I know I will never get to give that to you
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 3:11 PM UTC
You're a constant attraction
A shimmer in a magpies eye
You're a prize, to be revered and cherished.
I'd like to feel like it's not my fault to want you.
That it's not a defect
Or a flaw
Or something I feel compelled to hurt myself to accept.
I'm somewhere on that spectrum,
And I know how far along
And the idea of being an integer coordinate scares me.
You're soft, and smiling and captivating.
And I want to hold and kiss and touch
And unfold secrets
And cause smiles to blossom.
I've never had you so close, and I want you closer still.
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 5:28 PM UTC
I live to speak and dream
And to have a lot of ***
To self observe, to criticise
The things that I know best
To run and jump and scream and cry
To make no noise at all
Listening, imagining,
To ******* and to crawl
What are the days, the things we say
Those on whom we depend
Our deepest lies, we summarise
To lovers and to friends
A heartbreak, an art work
A scowl or a smile
All tangled up, in everyday
I'll just watch for a while
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 6:27 PM UTC
I feel sick to my stomach
As love crumbles
My own identity slipping
To self loathing and panic and hatred.
So, so broken
Shattered into to tiny pieces
That you lose in the carpet
And only find once stepped on.
There's too much finality in it all
I'm such a coward
I can't face up to it all
I can't
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 5:50 PM UTC
Numb of alcohol
Cigarettes
An early morning
Ambition
That's poetry enough to me
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 7:36 PM UTC
It's not truly pleasure
Until you know you're no longer pretending
Oct 17, 2014
Oct 17, 2014 at 5:05 PM UTC
In my complacency and distraction
I over indulged
Allowed myself too much of the things the make me happy
And spiralled out of control
As a human
A system
Built on balance and order
I tilted
Tipped the scales
And my self punishment
Will endeavour to fix me again
Oct 17, 2014
Oct 17, 2014 at 5:01 PM UTC
Drunkeness and falling
Give that stomach tightening feeling
I miss it.
It's the lull I feed myself while my mind cycles
Scaring me, gaining strength
Like a snowball down a hill
I want the comfort of someone to hold
Slender and soft
In the way only a woman can be
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM UTC
'Thats true self harm' she said
proud and self announced
like she could comprehend the universe
and that it left her no challenges
that in her 50 years, she had learnt all people
all feelings
all possibilities
and could now group us all like colours in a jar
i left, because it hurt
to think that after everything i go through to explain
the simpleness of 'some people'
discounts all the effort
there is no wrong and right way to hurt yourself
there is only a future
which we endeavour to make hurt less
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014 at 7:25 PM UTC