gretchen-long - Hello Poetry

I feel scared, alone, wild. Its in these moments when I do things that only cause me more pain. You know that place? The place where you make decisions based on fear. The situations you find yourself in that you know you cant take back I have made decisions here that were the worst in my life. The moments that define me now and only make me feel scared alone and wild. And in these moments I do things that cause me more pain You know that place. The place where you make decisions based on fear. …. the situations you find yourself in that you know you cant take back decisions made that are the absolute worst those moments define me now and they make me terrified, alone and insane its in these moments I do things that cause me more pain You know that place decisions based on fear situations moments more pain scared alone wild you know those places scared, alone, wild scared, alone, wild decisions based on fear decisions based on fear decisions based on fear you know those places?

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Oct 4, 2014

Oct 4, 2014 at 4:22 PM UTC

gretchen-long

Untitled

I feel scared, alone, wild. Its in these moments when I do things that only cause me more pain. You know that place? The place where you make decisions based on fear. The situations you find yourself in that you know you cant take back I have made decisions here that were the worst in my life. The moments that define me now and only make me feel scared alone and wild. And in these moments I do things that cause me more pain You know that place. The place where you make decisions based on fear. …. the situations you find yourself in that you know you cant take back decisions made that are the absolute worst those moments define me now and they make me terrified, alone and insane its in these moments I do things that cause me more pain You know that place decisions based on fear situations moments more pain scared alone wild you know those places scared, alone, wild scared, alone, wild decisions based on fear decisions based on fear decisions based on fear you know those places?

31

that doesn't sound right life emerging from inanimate matter you better watch it .... its positively stratospheric its the new normal hipstirrr hunter has no hugs showing off his gun every other day Quite sadly, this information is not surprising but we want to say goodbye we want them to rest anguish, sadness depress ed its the state of the thing there's really no need he's just going to **** kittens when he finds out anyway Someone belongs here Forget about it If we get away with this, it'll be a miracle.

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Jan 24, 2014

Jan 24, 2014 at 11:54 AM UTC

gretchen-long

Lottocracy

that doesn't sound right life emerging from inanimate matter you better watch it .... its positively stratospheric its the new normal hipstirrr hunter has no hugs showing off his gun every other day Quite sadly, this information is not surprising but we want to say goodbye we want them to rest anguish, sadness depress ed its the state of the thing there's really no need he's just going to **** kittens when he finds out anyway Someone belongs here Forget about it If we get away with this, it'll be a miracle.

18

After his head injury he realized there were more people in the world than just him. he had the lights off thrown 90 feet remembers right before remembers right after now he thinks about ******* all the time he never thought like this before the injury inhibition walking up to a stranger and asking for *** it didnt fit into a relationship Topic A: why am I all ****** up? Topic B: living with being all ****** up. he calls tomatoes lemons and there are certain smells (...........don't think of it as a list, think of it as a story.) he just wants to be who he was but he has a ****** in his room and she has a beautiful name Destiny he wakes up, beats off in the shower sequences it all just fine even with all the shakes at the end he's accurate hitting the suds moving them in the drain He thought he was good looking but he forgets names ...... cleans up after everyone .......wants to see her naked But he can't go home anymore.

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Jan 24, 2014

Jan 24, 2014 at 11:13 AM UTC

gretchen-long

180-degree rule

After his head injury he realized there were more people in the world than just him. he had the lights off thrown 90 feet remembers right before remembers right after now he thinks about ******* all the time he never thought like this before the injury inhibition walking up to a stranger and asking for *** it didnt fit into a relationship Topic A: why am I all ****** up? Topic B: living with being all ****** up. he calls tomatoes lemons and there are certain smells (...........don't think of it as a list, think of it as a story.) he just wants to be who he was but he has a ****** in his room and she has a beautiful name Destiny he wakes up, beats off in the shower sequences it all just fine even with all the shakes at the end he's accurate hitting the suds moving them in the drain He thought he was good looking but he forgets names ...... cleans up after everyone .......wants to see her naked But he can't go home anymore.

33

She hung her head, unmoved by his protests, and in a whisper, through hands covering her face she said It’s only romantic because it didn’t happen. ………………. If it had happened, it would have just been life. He walked away in agreement.

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:37 PM UTC

gretchen-long

Im going to harden my heart, swallow my tears.

She hung her head, unmoved by his protests, and in a whisper, through hands covering her face she said It’s only romantic because it didn’t happen. ………………. If it had happened, it would have just been life. He walked away in agreement.

19

After us. He became scorn. He never looked more beautiful. I thought him lucky, to have that. I only felt something lukewarm. My indifference made me plain. I wanted that passion instead of this boredom. He got all the longing, the ache, the poets disease. I shared my thoughts, my truth with him. He only flamed brighter as a result ….. so ********* gorgeous. I am envy. Much better than apathy.

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:36 PM UTC

gretchen-long

Want

After us. He became scorn. He never looked more beautiful. I thought him lucky, to have that. I only felt something lukewarm. My indifference made me plain. I wanted that passion instead of this boredom. He got all the longing, the ache, the poets disease. I shared my thoughts, my truth with him. He only flamed brighter as a result ….. so ********* gorgeous. I am envy. Much better than apathy.

12

You’ll smell of whiskey, I just know it. Sweaty, just a tad Briskly you walk towards me with purpose, all your thoughts exposed you’ll not be able to stop yourself afraid of a girl and I’ll like that a slight step backward, taken… and then Itll be like a dance nervous, twitching until shoulders brush backs of hands touch and then the magnet eyes the tendon glue of you and me crackles clean first footsteps after a midnight snow spun sugar glances parried returned dry lips licked panting all right before a voice quietly floats out Hello. No going back now. We’ve met. It’s personal.

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:36 PM UTC

gretchen-long

I decided to go back and clean out the “notes” on my phone... amazing what you forget.

You’ll smell of whiskey, I just know it. Sweaty, just a tad Briskly you walk towards me with purpose, all your thoughts exposed you’ll not be able to stop yourself afraid of a girl and I’ll like that a slight step backward, taken… and then Itll be like a dance nervous, twitching until shoulders brush backs of hands touch and then the magnet eyes the tendon glue of you and me crackles clean first footsteps after a midnight snow spun sugar glances parried returned dry lips licked panting all right before a voice quietly floats out Hello. No going back now. We’ve met. It’s personal.

27

I am suffering. ardor diminished look out the window see the same glass, half-empty eyes wander along rolling landscapes seeking out rapidly recovering raw plates of land rather enjoying indulging the habit seeing with memory the neural network patterns of pre-enlightenment what the eyes see, what the ears hear, what the skin feels patterns and relationships isolated phenomena numeralized graphed diachronic It’s a skill so deeply satisfying the eye is drawn to these raw scars human activities natural processes fluid transfer yet core patterns don’t change much from year to year soil washes off slopes into the river of hundreds if not thousands of years; rebuilding taking generations these patterns satisfying and useful cognizant knowledge tempers hands tendency to want to fix read, and tamper with —everything in sight.

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:35 PM UTC

gretchen-long

Mellow apologies for my lack of physical disposition.

I am suffering. ardor diminished look out the window see the same glass, half-empty eyes wander along rolling landscapes seeking out rapidly recovering raw plates of land rather enjoying indulging the habit seeing with memory the neural network patterns of pre-enlightenment what the eyes see, what the ears hear, what the skin feels patterns and relationships isolated phenomena numeralized graphed diachronic It’s a skill so deeply satisfying the eye is drawn to these raw scars human activities natural processes fluid transfer yet core patterns don’t change much from year to year soil washes off slopes into the river of hundreds if not thousands of years; rebuilding taking generations these patterns satisfying and useful cognizant knowledge tempers hands tendency to want to fix read, and tamper with —everything in sight.

34

Late at night when I’m desperate raw with longing for him, sometimes for her aching panic in the dark for all those future worlds I’ll never be a sudden thought occurs to me I’m still so young inside thinking this way I haven’t given up knowing that I tell my clinched hands that’s enough now let me sleep

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:35 PM UTC

gretchen-long

Alluding me

Late at night when I’m desperate raw with longing for him, sometimes for her aching panic in the dark for all those future worlds I’ll never be a sudden thought occurs to me I’m still so young inside thinking this way I haven’t given up knowing that I tell my clinched hands that’s enough now let me sleep

18

Electric taste sensation elicited stimulating tongue currently this phenomenon … nomenon enon nony cannot convey information classified humans cannot perceive with their tongue Methods involve changing taste foods and drinks by using electric taste We propose a system drink beverages using straws connected to an electric circuit We propose a system eat foods using a fork or chopsticks connected to an electric circuit We propose a system Discussing augmented gustation using various sensory Please do not care who you disappoint

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 5:34 PM UTC

gretchen-long

BioArt

Electric taste sensation elicited stimulating tongue currently this phenomenon … nomenon enon nony cannot convey information classified humans cannot perceive with their tongue Methods involve changing taste foods and drinks by using electric taste We propose a system drink beverages using straws connected to an electric circuit We propose a system eat foods using a fork or chopsticks connected to an electric circuit We propose a system Discussing augmented gustation using various sensory Please do not care who you disappoint

21

Some days I can’t see any beauty in you. Or you, or you or you. or me. I’m 1986 I’m 1996 … no wait, wait…. what? It’s 2022. It’s getting late. How often do I forget how early it is? Remember to breathe look at the floor turn the dish over and over in my hands its clean, smooth, squeaks under my thumb I’m ok one more time. Then ever so quietly my mother says “Oh, yes, please go get some air. Leave the rest of us here to suffocate.” I can finish the dishes. Of course, I can. I can finish. Finish. Useful. There’s beauty in being useful.

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Jan 18, 2014

Jan 18, 2014 at 2:38 PM UTC

gretchen-long

Home Is Where

Some days I can’t see any beauty in you. Or you, or you or you. or me. I’m 1986 I’m 1996 … no wait, wait…. what? It’s 2022. It’s getting late. How often do I forget how early it is? Remember to breathe look at the floor turn the dish over and over in my hands its clean, smooth, squeaks under my thumb I’m ok one more time. Then ever so quietly my mother says “Oh, yes, please go get some air. Leave the rest of us here to suffocate.” I can finish the dishes. Of course, I can. I can finish. Finish. Useful. There’s beauty in being useful.

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