Calling me “too much” is a lazy way of saying
You don’t know how to fan the flame of your own fire.
Does my brilliance upset you?
It’s not my fault that the anger runs through my blood like a snake
That settles at the base of my spine
And infuses my light with a red tinted hue
That screams I am NOT to be messed with.
The tongue I hold in my mouth is as sharp as a dagger
And it can spit barbed wire as easily as it can French kiss.
To deny the way I **** destroy and scream
Is to deny the way I make love and sing universes into creation.
I am not white or black magick.
I am chaos magick.
And I will destroy as I sing Kali’s name,
And hang the heads of men like a garland around my holy throat.
Jun 8, 2017
Jun 8, 2017 at 3:50 PM UTC
There have been hearts of mine that have cracked under the weight of easy love.
They hold a melody that I have hummed over and over.
Sometimes it begins slow, like waves crashing on an empty shore.
Sometimes they haunt like a ship with a sail set fire.
I wonder where I will find the next incarnation because I am starting to tire.
The faint ring of intoxication has all but left my soul dy.
I hold a heart who screams in anguish at herself and every lover.
I home a soul too big for this body,
And she craves a song to live by.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 1:42 PM UTC
I grow gardens between my thighs
and bloom roses red like rubies.
My spine is lined with barbed wire for those who dare to climb me.
I bleed rivers of deadly nightshade
and sharped thorns between my shoulders.
Every inch of this golden body is dripping in amber honey.
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 10, 2017 at 1:33 PM UTC
Coo words at me one more time-
I've never been keen to believe you.
Knotting promises into cord to cut me,
I'll never be someone you're a part of.
The lies my flesh has told you
Has put me at risk for you to fall in love with.
But I am not responsible for the way my body shatters your expectations.
You cannot shame a sinner without a shame for sin.
Or a lover in love with the way her body bends.
And the silence I keep for the way you make me quiver
Is not an excuse to make your misery quicker.
I have loved and lied to plenty of men
The biggest I've told is "it's not in your head."
I exist in a dimension you deserve no part of.
My love is eternal but you've only ever been lusted for.
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 26, 2016 at 10:54 PM UTC
The golden seal you've placed at the end of your tongue
Comes undone at the edge of my teeth.
And I peel it back
Slowly
At First
Like a fruit too delicate to eat.
I've worked for hours trying to unwind it.
An incandescent veil beckoning me to cross it.
"Can't you see what you've done?"
But my bones have been stripped for years.
They've been leafed in silver, chrome like a future I want no part of.
Still, like the way you looked at me.
When I pulled away your molten flesh and left you exposed with nothing but your sin to greet me.
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 26, 2016 at 9:56 PM UTC
I taste like heaven and hell.
Like the nightmares you had where you were left in the middle of the ocean.
Drowning
You woke up crying.
Or the one where you watched everyone you loved die.
But
It was you shooting.
I taste like the hidden corners of your closet where you keep your diaries.
With pages filled with how you’d touch me.
I am the burnt sugar on the edge of the pan.
The drops of ice cream that leave your fingers sticky.
Oct 17, 2016
Oct 17, 2016 at 6:38 PM UTC
I have been told
Twice
By two different men- that I am the most defensive person they’ve ever met.
My skin too thick and my tongue to sharp
(I am supposed to be easy and soft.)
But those men didn’t tend to the garden of my mind or flesh.
They never sowed the seeds I have spent years tending
Or even tried to open the gate I have built with my calloused hands.
Do not judge this mind if you aren’t willing to taste my soul.
There are roses here that don’t need any other hands to prune.
And never forget-
I am of the moon and stars.
The rivers of this body don’t need your approval.
I was never meant to be the clay molded in your hands.
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 1:11 AM UTC
Lying on my stomach I remember the way your fingers felt unbuttoning my flesh.
The way your teeth left cursive along my spine
Beckoning me to open like a book that you were never allowed to read.
I will unfold for you with the promise that you will only sign your name in blood
Along the edge of my sanity and only if you take me out of my mind.
I am not looking to lay anywhere except six feet under
Where I can feel your fire without fear of burning myself with your flame.
So I beg you-
Cover me in gasoline
Strike me where you please
And leave your sigil in my ashes.
Aug 22, 2016
Aug 22, 2016 at 4:53 PM UTC
My life is a work of art
But it has never been scripted for you.
It doesn’t have to taste sweet on your tongue.
It doesn’t have to be soft or comfortable.
You do not even have to enjoy it.
No.
My life is not for you to consume numbly.
It is not meant to be a safe space for you to form opinions.
I am still carving out the obsidian I’m crafted from.
And I do not have to listen to you to know where to chisel.
I have never written for you. Or loved for you.
With you maybe, but not for.
My life is not meant to be eaten like an apple
Whose core is too harsh.
I am poison.
And I never told you to taste me.
Jul 9, 2016
Jul 9, 2016 at 4:07 PM UTC
You came to me in a dream once, with crystal covered mountains dripping with nostalgia.
Ice cream on your tongue tasted sweeter than you ever did. You apologized for that too.
I have carved a path from the ice to trek for days that felt heavier when there was no one to miss- no distraction from the shell that I have worn that has formed from the inside out.
I think I am softer, more tender, more loving than perhaps I actually am.
I am the rigid shell of a soul who is too scared to feel everything that should be felt and now I am left to wander in snowy banks with the boots you lent me that never fit.
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 2:51 PM UTC