i wish i was sea grass in a stream
i wish i was snow falling,
illuminated by the streetlights soft gleam
i wish i was a wave on cool spring day
i wish i was a cow roaming in a meadow
searching for place to lay
i wish i was a bird flying through the clouds
hoping it wont rain today
i wish i was a mouse huddled in my house
peacefully in sleep
i wish i was the light from the moon
illuminating the clam creek
i wish i was the water that passes by like a tear
I wish was a human surrounded by comfort
In replace of fear
Mar 24
Mar 24, 2026 at 12:15 AM UTC
I want to throw up the kisses youve shoved down my throat.
I want to erase the memory of you spreading my legs even though i said no.
Why am i hesitant to hate you?
I should,
but i have no room in my heart
to hate.
Only my mirrors are laced with the hate.
Filling the flaws with hate
i carved in the cracks.
Myself
looking
at myself,
watching
myself
cry.
Why am i willing to forgive because i want you?
Why am i willing to forget,
I hate you.
I hate.
Me.
Mar 15
Mar 15, 2026 at 4:21 AM UTC
The apple ages from new to old,
When the light core turns sour
I can finally consume the lies I sold
The beautiful moldy skin contorts my face to a grin
I know its gift of euphoria.
could euthanize me if i abuse or overuse the sweet juice that makes me puke
It the temptation of vivid dreams,
If i give in i can be free
No matter the cost
i would eat anything after it rots.
Mar 7
Mar 7, 2026 at 1:03 AM UTC
As i sit and lie awake my memories play on an Ouroboros of thoughts
i will not be free until i fall asleep
I am alone
And i wish for an escape to a different home,
A different place for my heart to cry
I am stuck inside my head as
my soul is bound to my bed,
I do not wish to socialize,
there isnt a chance it would keep my eyes dry
I am stuck consuming myself,
consuming parasites.
I keep mistaking it all for a paradise.
It plagues me.
______________________________
Mar 7
Mar 7, 2026 at 1:01 AM UTC
I choose to consume the rotting apple next to me,
Although I see it is bad for me i let the seeds take root in my lungs,
I let it take control over me.
I hurt myself despite consequence.
I am unhappy,
yet my reasons slip away from me like sand between my fingers.
I see no valid reason for feeling this way but i fall back into a cycle of sadness.
I wish to be happy.
I know im doing this to myself.
______________________________
Mar 7
Mar 7, 2026 at 12:56 AM UTC
W As
e
We
A
r Were
e
Before
N
o C
t h
a
T n
h g
e i
n
S g
a I
m n
e W
a
y
s
detnaW reveN eW
L o o k i n g. A c t i n g. L i v i n g.
L i k e T h e P e o p l e W e N e v e r W a n t e d
Jan 14
Jan 14, 2026 at 8:46 PM UTC
I want to gouge out my eyes for wanting to cry; i swallow the lump in my throat and force them to dry
Jan 14
Jan 14, 2026 at 8:45 PM UTC
Are the bruises in my flesh not enough to showcase my pain?
Will i have to make an incision in my heart to tear out a part?
Just for you to feast with your eyes,
Before you feast with your teeth,
Tearing my heart further apart with the words that crush me under the weight of your tongue.
My heart is blue and i am bruised.
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 12:49 AM UTC
It fills me with distain when you look at me and deflect the blame.
You stand to claim it's not you who needs to change
Everyone is wrong but you,
dont you see all the pain you put everyone else through?
You talk about boundaries yet dont acknowledge any but your own.
How self centered do you have to be-
Putting yourself on a high sitting throne?
You dress your imperfection
but it lacks in deception.
Everyone can see it,
Even you.
Yet you make the choice not to.
Instead your visions filled with reading
The people who surround you.
You're "the bigger person" who tells people how they act.
Truly your existence is an ego that can't control how to react
Instead of staying calm in uncertainty
You erupt like a volcano instantly.
Its insanity.
—But oh no, its never your fault it's
his fault,
her fault,
Or mine.
You focus on the faults of others instead of fixing your own leaky faucet.
So you can have active distractions that aid your projections.
You believe everyone needs to be told about themselves but when it comes to you,
Oh
"im a human too"
And
"Im not perfect"
Well shouldn't it be clear that im not too?
I am not a book to read,
I am not trying to amuse you
Although it seems i have casted myself in the act of a fool.
Im treated like a tool, whose free to use
you mock my words, worries, and woes.
Because nothing else matters to you but your own.
You shower me in gifts and hugs and mistake it for real love.
You force guilt on others for having real emotions.
All because you cant understand your own.
Jan 8
Jan 8, 2026 at 12:04 AM UTC
I sit and i watch the rain,
Thoughts I hidden below the dirt emerge as water pools on the surface.
Messy and monstrous i walk amongst the mud.
If the rain continues to pour ill become stuck.
My own dread is leading me towards my death bed
My thoughts continue to swarm creating a swamp
Inside a storm.
Unsure if i can continue
—yet certain i cannot return.
The place i have left behind
The person i have left behind
Has died and left my mind.
The rain watches me weep
she hides away my tears with her love,
In her reflection I see myself appear,
But I have disappeared.
The rain has washed away my tears along with my fears
But this is all i am, and without them i can no longer stand.
The bittersweetness.
Her cold hearted love reveals my sorrows with a soothing touch.
Each tear that touches my skin makes me shiver and sink deeper in.
Stability is gone.
Its transformed to mud,
laced with sin and sorrow.
—From which i thought had moved on,
Has only haunted me until the dawn and downpour of our tears.
As i sit and watch the rain
she watches me too
I am a sorrowful shade of blue.
Jan 7
Jan 7, 2026 at 11:40 PM UTC