In the corner of my head
I cannot feel my smile reaching my ears.
In the back of my head,
I know what it is.
The lingering sensation,
The left overs of these ruined feelings.
The feelings that are isolating
Yet so alive
The feelings of lingering loneliness
are very beautiful.
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 11:45 AM UTC
there is that kind of war
between my head and heart
where I am torn in between myself.
I try my best to keep calm
to keep moving but
that suffocation ruins me
that loneliness ruins me
that silent scream pushes me
down
that silent tear threatening to come out
won't stop at some point
I try & try
to keep these tears to myself
those silent weeps at night
the calm and serene sound of my
choked tears
give me pleasure
that no one can see me.
I badly want to vanish
I badly want to disappear
I badly want to end everything
I am tired of fighting
I am hating to fall down
but when everything is in chaos
I wipe my pain
let my heart win
take tough decisions
and stand back up to move on
and live
instead of ending myself
because
living is bravery.
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 16, 2016 at 9:19 AM UTC
Overwhelmed.
Desperate.
Whimsical.
Whiny.
Angry.
Frustrated.
Jealous.
Disappointed.
I feel each and every word,
Through my veins.
It makes me different bfrom normalcy,
Making me realize that I am not sane.
I act insane,
Like a madhatter.
I act like an escapist,
The one who escaped from asylum.
I slap myself, pinch myself
But nothing stops me from getting scared of myself.
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 11:55 AM UTC
struggling was she with depression
a cut was painted on her wrist
suicide was cutting her soul
death was calling her name.
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 10:33 AM UTC
the only thing
we require
is escape.
when we
struggle,
when we
fail,
when we
are sad,
when we
are hopeless,
when we are
feeling worthless;
and whatever.
Hope is not what we feel
but need urgently.
It is not something
we have
and
it is not
something we earn.
It is something we come to realize
when our struggle reaches
off limits.
Only few can sense it,
many lose it,
little ones keep it
and
continue to struggle,
to win just
some day
as they see it
possibly.
When you have hope,
Even the word 'impossible'
is I'm possible.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 11:12 AM UTC
Given the thousands reason
to break down,
we all do break and crush
at some point of
our life.
Hopeless, useless & worthless
is what our life feels like
when the breakdown
happens.
But somehow we sleep
and go into deep sleep.
Next day, we get up
reluctantly
still plan our day ahead.
This is called hope
which is sometimes all
we need to
survive.
Jan 9, 2016
Jan 9, 2016 at 8:57 PM UTC
Crying at night
slow tears falling
from both eyes,
loneliness & hollowness
is what she
felt.
Unexpressed, unsaid
imprinted the
scar of the
suffocation
on her soul.
She was a girl
struggling the
desperation to
find happiness
to feel content.
Blessed, blissful life
loving people;
she had everything
yet this emptiness.
But she goes through
tears, wakes up
everyday,
a brand new morning
giving her the hope
to smile.
Tears being worth her
fight at
night.
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 11:40 PM UTC
we know
"empty vessel sounds a lot,"
it has so much space within itself
that it reflects back
what it hears.
my mind is also the empty vessel,
wanting to be empty,
which is not exactly empty.
millions,
thousands,
hundreds,
few,
many,
deep,
dark,
thoughts cross all limits.
they just fill up the space in my mind,
making me sure of
that
I am not empty,
my mind
and my soul are just lonely.
no one to stand by the side,
no one to tell how hard it is to fight,
no one to guide through the
darkest hours,
no one to know how much it hurts,
to have
two voices telling
million of things.
Even if those many thoughts cross
my mind,
still it is not filled,
nothing comes to the mouth,
to speak,
to express,
nothing comes to the eyes,
to look at,
to cry;
my mind is just like an empty shell.
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 4, 2016 at 9:33 AM UTC
ever thought
about
how our thoughts
look like
they might be black
they might be white
they may be blank
but
one thing is clear
that;
they're hurtful
they know
how to **** a
person inside
they always play double games
on our mind;
one is good
one is bad
making us to fight
a war
within
ourselves
we never
deserve
suffering
but they do
make us suffer
oh! look at how,
dark those
thoughts are
yesterday,
today ,
tomorrow,
they **** us inside
day by day
hour by hour
minute by minute
second by second
everyday.
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 11:10 AM UTC
what hunts you in reality,
may not be there in your sleeps.
what hurts you in reality,
vanishes when you go to sleep.
but sometimes,
it all comes back in the sleep,
as the nightmare.
those moments relived in there,
they give the tremors to my body.
they make me afraid to go back into sleep,
they make my normality vanish,
maybe I am going insane
or they will make me insane.
Loneliness,
difficulty,
fear inside,
everything crosses you,
when the reality
visits you in
your
nightmare.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 9:33 AM UTC