You made me punch a wall
I’ve never done that before
You make me whole
I’ve never had a stable home
You make me wanna fight
I’ve never liked arguments
You make me mad
And I hate you for it
You infuriate me
I shake when I think of it
You
I can’t even explain
I love you so **** much
I hate it all the same
You stop my anxiety
Yet you cause my attacks
You lifted my depression
Yet make me so low
I can’t breathe without you
I can’t breathe when your here
I’ve run out of air
But I’m surrounded by trees
I can’t see the stars but I’m living in the night
A nocturnal love
A trippy tale
Inhale the high
‘Until the end of time’
‘Until the universe dies’
‘Until every atoms passed its time’
Was I not supposed to say?
How you make my heart hurt
How you make my soul scream
How when we’re lay together like that
You fuel my everything
‘ I push you cause I wanna see you go far ‘
So why do I feel like pulling away
I’m wasting away
You came so quickly
And left even faster
But hey maybe I’m just lost in my ways
But maybe I’m scared of love
But maybe my hearts covered in rust
Maybe it’s a different sort of lust
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 5:53 PM UTC
Didn’t realise you were everything I was looking for
Didn’t know that it was you right from the start
Didn’t know someone could ever feel like home
Cause now I’m all alone
And it’s your body that I’m missing
It’s your lips that I’m craving
It’s your smile it’s illuminating
It’s your heart and it’s overwhelming
I’ll never need anymore
But when you show up at my door
Your all I’m living for
A future with you could repair my past
A lifetime with you and that’s all I ask
For me your perfect
My one true desire
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 2:14 PM UTC
Something about you is perfect
Everything about you feels like home
Your light it’s picturesque
Your beauty I confess
I’m absolutely in love
With something about you
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 9:29 PM UTC
To think I called you family
To think you’re my brother
To think that now it’s were
To think how you destroyed her
To think that all your mates now think your fake
To think how much your mum protects your fate
To think how much longer this will drag
To think where you’ll be in 5 years time
To think about how it all went wrong
To think that we were destined from the start
To think that our parents done the same
Surely man like you’d think that was enough
Enough to stop the scale tipping
Enough to stop our lives becoming
Enough to keep us going on living
Enough to keep us away from the streets
Enough too keep us on our feet
Enough too keep us all clean
Enough too not destroy our dreams
Enough to keep us together till the end of things
Enough I guess it’s just a memory
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 9:41 AM UTC
Antihistamines antidepressants and paracetamol
Tanned skin white skin unexplainable
Falling and flying now one and the same
Who knew about the summer rain
Lying here you confirm my fear
I love you more than life itself my dear
I’d hate for you to up and leave
But I couldn’t fill your wildest dreams
Your wishing for another I know
She may act like me but she won’t
She’d do the things I do not do
She’d love you different to how I do
But she’d never look at you the way I do
She wouldn’t fall in love with your smile like me
She wouldn’t kiss you before you sleep
Or when her insomnia woke her
Or when her anxiety got her
But I do
I do because you mean everything to me
I do because your my remedy
I do because maybe I’m not scared of being in love with you anymore
I’m in love with the idea and thought of you
The being and existence of you
I’m in love with you
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 4:01 PM UTC
Hearts take months too fix and minuets too break
Of course I’ll miss her soft warm lips, but how could you understand that even still she does not long for me
I just love for her I want for her mouth on my neck
But alas she turned me away
And from the girl who wouldn’t dare
How could you understand
That although my heart is broken
I cannot feel nor care
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 7, 2018 at 12:35 PM UTC
I can remember wanting love, wanting to love somebody and them be as in love with me for my ground to move underneath their feet and their world turn with me
I remember wanting simplicity and the quietness among the madness and
I can remember being in love the gleam and the glow the battles and breaths I can remember being held and not wanting to let go
I can remember the aftermath, and every heartbeat in between the breaks,
I can remember loosing my best friend and my world in a day and I remember how alone I felt
I can remember how I forgot your touch
I left
I got on a train and I’ve never got back on to go back too you and I’ve not walked up that hill to hers I’ve gone past his street but never through my heart and eyes are sensitive too all of you, I can see you, just not where we were alone or when because I’m scared of falling back in love because I do
I can remember everything that made me fall in love with everyone I’ve ever fell in love with, but I can remember why it didn’t work and why it ended
Half of it on account of me half on you,
But I fall in love too easily and I’m scared because I love you
I do
I genuinely feel love towards you but my heart breaks and mends quite quickly nowadays and it’s sorta killing me cause I can fill the cracks with other people
Like some weird glue
I’m currently in love with you
So everything to me about you is still unreal
But my love for you is real
I believe that we can make it work
We just gotta realise that we work
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 11:19 AM UTC
“I’m just so depressed” and that’s all I could tell him I wanted to tell him that I was fine that I’m not fully broken but I feel oh so nearly done I’m already so hollow my insides don’t feel the need to carry on my minds only okay when it’s gone and my eyes just can’t stop flooding I need to find a way to cope because I’ve never felt so alone and I know you’d do anything for me and I’m sorry that there’s nothing you can do I’m just done I’m so ******* sorry but I actually cannot keep it together anymore and I’m literally breaking with every moment I’m awake I feel the need to not bother because everything’s becoming more and more pointless every day and I’m not sure how much more I can take cause I’ve been falling apart for so long that I can’t remember how to feel complete anymore, I can’t remember what my life was before depression and I can’t remember a time I wasn’t bullied or abused, born a fighter and a light for others and I’m slowly genuinely feeling the flame disappear I can just feel myself loosing myself I don’t know me anymore it’s like I’ve just become someone I’m not in such a different way, I’m the same and more normal than I’ve ever been yet at the same time I’m so lost I just don’t know what to do about anything anymore I’m forgetting everything that made me me and it’s just slowly slipping through my grasp I ******* hate change and I feel myself changing every day it hurts cause I used to care and love everything now I hate mostly everything there is little I cherish and much I now despise and I hate it I hate how I hate and it’s becoming so hard to bear...
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018 at 7:31 PM UTC
A thing people should know about my work: I can start a piece about one thing sounding one way and by the end of it you forgot what you were reading about because my words make you confused yet they make sense see I read my work and I know what I was thinking when I wrote it but other people just see a mess of a paragraph using words that don’t mesh together or things that shouldn’t be put together but to me they work, I could describe to you the way I see the sky, but you’d never see the same sky, my words will tug at heartstrings maybe a word or two will send you on your own set of emotions but every word meant something
And that’s what you need to know
I may dramatically show it
Using words I can barely spell and my fingers shaking I’ll type and I’ll make it sound worse than it is
But that’s how I see it
I spend hours watching rain, see it coming from miles away the clouds which fade from a bright white to a dark grey and I watch as they break
As they pour down upon the city’s and streets as the mountains pierce them they crumble and turn into rocks
But somehow city’s and mountains stand
Rain can’t wash the concrete and stone away
I haven’t
I’m from a town, no big city’s near, I live away from the mountains and next to the coast, so truth be told I’ve grown up watching the sea
In a town where everyone knows everyone and news can travel fast
When a person gets stabbed you know in the next 3 days
When a kid goes wrong it’s apparent to all the families that live around
But still
To me this place is a city
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 16, 2018 at 11:44 AM UTC
Titles make me weird
I mean how do you word what your words are trying to explain
It’s confusing see words just flow with me I don’t think I just write and type until I look at the screen and I stare and ponder I just let my hands write that which they choose whenever my eyes red and full take in my soul when my body’s in harmony because I’m slightly too intoxicated but it’s fine, because it’s making me feel alive, listening too old acoustic songs that make you feel like your flying and that’s where I write, I write when I’m in the deepest cave at the bottom of the endless sea, where there is little oxygen or room to breathe, my soul will break through the rock and let me float away through and across where no human has gone before, that’s where I see my minds creations is where my heart belongs it’s where my soul breaths it’s my home eternal and true
But let it not be said that my perfect home no matter how old my soul seems to be, is with you with your arms around me,
They are my ultimate perfections,
You were
No are
The most important thing to me
And that’s where my heart truly beats
Where my soul can break
It’s final resting place
I’ll lay it all on you if you just once promise me forever and always
I will genuinely vow
Because if you genuinely feel that way I think I’d know
So I think in time we could
Because right now I love you more than words can describe
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 7:09 PM UTC