You know who you are
And I know I
You shall (in proportion) leave a scar
Yet I'll shine my eye
Just as you are
So too were we
Short and a little bitter sweet
May 20
May 20, 2026 at 5:53 PM UTC
I'm afraid my goals don't align with yours;
yet feel our souls click so perfectly.
I've resolved myself to observing the world
and watching you with the girls I imagine how great we could be.
But I'm locked into place.
Another cog in this death making machine.
I think I'm losing my face;
I'm definitely losing my steam.
I fear I set course for another heartache,
but don't for a second think I'm calling you a mistake.
The faults are my own..
I'm just trying to build a place to call home.
I know further engagement would be irresponsible,
but when you talk with that silk woven voice I find redirection impossible.
When we meet and embrace it's hard to stop the fall,
but I can't find the brakes and the engine won't stall.
I fear I'll only take up space in your cluttered apartment.
Just a bulky suitcase, a leftover fragment.
You've so much at stake and I've nothing to lose.
I'd hate to see that pretty face wear me like a noose.
Feb 18
Feb 18, 2026 at 12:53 PM UTC
There are times I wish I could ignore your existence the way you do mine.
But then I'm reminded how rare a heart is that holds space over time.
You live in there now, a growth weighing down my chest.
And sure I could cut it out along with the rest.
But you know me; I never make things easy.
So I'll forge my soul not of gold but of iron.
I'll let my eyes gloss cold as I focus my fire.
And yeah sure, my mind tends to tire, but I'll callus in truth before I ever live a liar.
You could still shine you know?
You could choose to let dead weight go.
No wonder you shrunk through our time
Trying to keep your tales all in line,
But I told mine too, I said "I was fine."
Till one day I grew a spine.
I said what was wrong in hopes we might realign.
Instead you thrashed out like I had bad intentions in mind.
You thrashed out more when I hid myself inside.
"Talk to me" you'd beg but I already had you pegged.
Anything less than "great" was awful.
If I try to suggest I'd only ever get a mouthful.
So I learned to speak with my eyes in the hopes that you might realize,
the way your warped the world would only tend to traumatize.
We live in there now, our own personal hell.
Whether we burn or freeze only time can tell.
Jan 30
Jan 30, 2026 at 7:48 PM UTC
I called you the moon, because you paired so well with sunshine.
The way the light reflected off your crooked smile and freckled your face like a seeded field.
Your voice would cut through the crowd as you screamed like an animal; unhindered by gawking eyes.
Yours were a beautiful shade of honey that fell into me as we became one through our lips.
You were my source of motivation.
Of meaning.
Belonging.
As days went on and we fell into ourselves we must have missed the sunset.
Our home grew cold and I lost your arms by means of remedies made of forget.
How small you grew as the weight of lies settled on your shoulders.
You'd hide little clues and hints in the pages of your folders.
Your light has ceased its shining.
Perhaps you never did.
Mayhaps it was reflection.
Yet I think of you with the morning dew.
Sun rays, they trace my figure in the way you do.
I breathe in deep and sip my coffee;
And enjoy my private morning with you.
Jan 27
Jan 27, 2026 at 5:06 PM UTC
I'm trying to boil away the best parts of you.
To strain away my ties; to realize patterns and lies.
Until only the lessons remain.
To hold on to you is to stand still
To forget you is to repeat the past.
There's parts of me I've yet to ****
The same that willfully allowed my soul to fast.
Starvation
Withered spirits lack sheer will.
Triggered, we pit ourselves for a cheap thrill.
Chip away all you want,
drill baby drill
My heart remains a stone at the bottom of a hill.
Toss it in a river
Throw it in well
Cook it with olive oil
Clean it for a spell
It'll crack maybe, but one could hardly tell.
Dec 24, 2025
Dec 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM UTC
Can you tell me the reasons I'm not worth your time?
I feel this would release and ease my mind.
I spend my days running from you inside my mental maze.
She offers warmth but gives me pain
I fear she's driving me insane.
I still dream of us and mine and yours
3 kids, part me, part you, all we.
Yet wake to empty rooms and colder floors.
I hope you're well, I truly do.
Still I wish you'd feel the same.
I thought you kin, found you more jinn.
Can't tell if you or I painted your sin.
Did my yearn for growth break through your skin?
A catalyst, a shell, a self-preserved hell?
Did your voices scream too loud in silence?
Does the chaos make you grin?
I'm empty still, a vessel not made to fill.
New suitors call, I ignore them all.
I feel their eyes peel at my flesh.
They churn my gut, I'm more than ****
I've no desire for their own.
I feel as an untouched *****
My audience begs for ever more
I shrink away and still they stay
********** me, clothes torn on the floor.
I've no desire for their own.
I yearn to be seen for my thoughts
my brain
my soul
To be accepted as a whole.
Can you tell me the reasons I'm not worth your time?
I feel this would release and ease my mind.
Dec 15, 2025
Dec 15, 2025 at 2:06 AM UTC
To whom I gifted my youth
No longer do I hold the potential of a boy called man.
I gave it all to you.
Now I hold the weight of what I should have by socal standards.
I gave it all to you.
I'd have spent my days, my years embracing every inch and curve.
I'd have given it all to you.
I poured my energy into our union and you siphoned it to shadowed forms.
You gave it all to them.
So I'll harness every ounce of numbing motive left and forge the me you wanted killing the me that loved.
I'll take it from myself.
I'll become perfected man made flesh yet waste it on my own.
I'll wither by myself.
Nov 29, 2025
Nov 29, 2025 at 6:48 PM UTC
It took two months and a neck tattoo to even begin getting over you.
It took one message and I'm back in deep;
two more now I'm lacking sleep.
So ya, I get it when you say you're addicted.
It ***** with your head makes you wish you never did it.
But it gives you that warmth, it gives you that glow.
It gives your hand the strength not to let it all go.
So, let me inhale you like the fumes of your pipe.
Let me feel my veins like the edge of your knife.
I was begging God for just a bit of chaos.
I didn't mean for you to go try to break us.
I meant a new adventure for us both to share.
Now my passenger seat's just an empty chair.
But you do you and I guess I'll do me.
Do as you wish, yeah, do as you please,
just leave me alone, just leave me in peace.
Nov 3, 2025
Nov 3, 2025 at 1:59 PM UTC
You don't get to have the version of me that emerges from my loss of you.
You don't get to embrace the arms I build as I try to forget your face.
The cold stone eyes that draw you nearer will look straight through you; like I to me each morning in the mirror.
I'll fill my skin with ink to replace the tracings of your fingers; the pain it leaves relieves the parts of you that stays and lingers.
I took you in, broken with sin, yet I now need to mend.
I'll forge a soul that's hard and cool if only by pretend.
You don't get to have the version of me that emerges from my loss of you.
You don't get to have me.
I don't get to have you.
Oct 29, 2025
Oct 29, 2025 at 8:55 PM UTC
I'll forever hold my memory of you as dear;
though it compares poorly to reality.
Not for the thrill of new and unknown.
Nor for the thirst of youthful flesh,
but for the illusion of souls made mesh.
For the comfort of infinite passion.
For the security of "you'll be here tomorrow".
For the restfulness of loyalty and the softness of head on chest.
But this memory was handcrafted from porcelain.
A gift you never cherished.
Now, viel lifted, I see the cracked clay you've allowed to wither and decay.
You lash out, beastly, to scorn my recognition.
Oct 29, 2025
Oct 29, 2025 at 8:52 PM UTC