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gabby-evens
English I read a lot of poems. I have finally decided i would like to try and write a few. I am seriously looking to improve and would love some feed back, constructive criticism for the win!!
In my perfect world The grass beneath my feet, never changed It did not become the sharp, Brittle stems, That injure me and then fracture With each step I take. In my perfect world The sky which was blue above me, never changed It did not Darken and, Throw down rain That chills me and cleans me In my perfect world The hand that wiped so many tears, never changed It did not become the cruel fist, Which struck me down And changed me.
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Dec 4, 2011
Dec 4, 2011 at 4:44 PM UTC
In my perfect world
In the pink and distant horizon Lying there too far to see I know exactly what is waiting Quietly taking in its breath I cannot see it clearly But oh how its colours glow The dazzling shades of hope Fun, glory and love, That light the horizon In colours so unreal, so true And so I swim towards them And feel my colours becoming brighter to
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Dec 4, 2011
Dec 4, 2011 at 4:36 PM UTC
Future hope
The sharp slivers of glass That penetrate my mind Slicing through the layers of, Carefully placed defences. These diamond shards , Know exactly where my weakness lies And glide so easily through. Causing me a suffering, I long to go without, If only I could hide from, The sharp pieces of my broken heart.
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Dec 4, 2011
Dec 4, 2011 at 4:14 PM UTC
Treacherous heart
His gentle touch, Calms me, brings me a meaning Gets me through the day, The soft feel of him beside me Soothes me through the night The deep rumble rising from his chest Blocks my thoughts away As he cuddles up beside me I finally feel O.k Where no person could heal me No touch soothe me, No sound stop my thoughts. When I thought no one could help He stood there in white socks Meowing me my cure.
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Dec 4, 2011
Dec 4, 2011 at 4:10 PM UTC
Unusual Saviour