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fuzz-butthead
Got tricked, no treat, now my mouth is clean A twisted deed to give Listerine on Halloween I know she can afford Reeses and Kit Kats I’ll torch feces in dish rags Leave it on her porch and record the greedy witch gag
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Oct 31, 2024
Oct 31, 2024 at 11:09 AM UTC
Halloween
In a game of inches, training makes the difference between clanks and swishes Receive praise and kisses, fame and riches Or a tainted image, cane and stitches
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Oct 25, 2024
Oct 25, 2024 at 8:48 PM UTC
Practice Makes Perfect
Get back You need a tic tac Every time your lips flap, I’m convinced that I sniff *** Bet you spit plaque
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Oct 20, 2024
Oct 20, 2024 at 8:16 PM UTC
Tic Tacs
Didn’t wanna scrap but you were too lax with your words Now your slacks smell like a laxative served Scavengers lurk Will you gasp for a nurse before a nap in the dirt?
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Oct 17, 2024
Oct 17, 2024 at 11:43 AM UTC
Talkin’ Too Reckless
I have a face not even my mother could love She complains I’m the ugliest son She never mustered a hug In public I’m shunned She says nobody can tell my mug from a **** And that people will shudder and run, unable to stomach their lunch unless I cover it up
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Oct 4, 2024
Oct 4, 2024 at 5:31 PM UTC
Ugliest Son
Cocky ****** will suffer consequences If they’re talking **** and don’t hop the fences Doesn’t matter if they have a squad with weapons They’ll drop in seconds They’ll be taught a lesson that’ll leave their doctor stressin’ When they get knocked senseless by a barrage of fists that’d leave pro boxers breathless
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Oct 4, 2024
Oct 4, 2024 at 4:37 AM UTC
Not a Man to Mess With
I’m only a geek in image When I eat my spinach, an increase in fitness Then I can make a demon grimace Have it *** its britches Needing stitches after getting beaten witless Though most just become a ceased existence My fights are violent This time it’s birds and stars from the tire iron Many burns and scars from the prior sirens The doc’s shocked I can still stand, caught in jams I’ve been popped and slammed, hit with pots and pans Shot with glocks and cannons Bombs and banana peels, even dropped off canyons I’ve been flattened with a Range Rover And blasted with a flame thrower Whether I’m bold or insane, I never fold from the pain Even with bullet holes in my brain Next foe I scuffle, I’ll put an anvil in a pie and throw it in his face Put his **** on a mantle and pridefully show it to my mates
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Oct 2, 2024
Oct 2, 2024 at 7:29 PM UTC
Cartoon Fighter
He’s a scrooge who boozes away Neutered and chained by a beautiful dame who reduces his pay While his kids become manure brained playing computer games His wife gave him bliss and love, but he called her ***** and **** He hasn’t sniffed her **** or been kissed in months She spits in his muffins and chicken and dumplings And prefers hickeys and ******* from a bigger **** than her husbands’
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Oct 1, 2024
Oct 1, 2024 at 8:28 PM UTC
Happy Husband
Wrote my lover a sonnet Read one line and she was covered in ***** She hates my poetry She complains it doesn’t pay for groceries Won’t let me glaze her ovaries when I say the grossest things She makes me pray the rosary
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Oct 1, 2024
Oct 1, 2024 at 1:20 PM UTC
My Lady Hates My Poetry
He only needs one arm If you’re unarmed You’ll need a good luck charm to be unharmed He can pack a punch that’ll make you yack your lunch Unless you’re the fastest runner or blasting guns, keep your yapper shut Might be in a casket once his wrath is done
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Sep 21, 2024
Sep 21, 2024 at 10:57 PM UTC
One Armed Brawler