franswa-hackett
American
My eyes opened. There was only blackness, unending and eternal. I found myself lost in this blackness for a long time, so long I cannot give a proper estimate. I saw shapes emerging in the black: faces, monsters, Gods, Goddesses, hexagons, pentagrams, coke, airplanes, black holes, worm holes, strange and fantastical images forever imprinted upon my memory. Then there was a swirling creature of darkness, arms and legs like tree branches and a head shaped in the likeness of an old Zoroastrian demon. I could not hide my thoughts from the beast. It knew the dark thoughts which lay hidden in my mind, and every manifestation of fear that lingered in my heart. It smiled at me, as if to affirm my suspicions, as if to say: “I know what you are. I know what sleeps inside of you.” / I recall at last seeing an ocean of stars amidst the fabrics the universe, meteors cascading through the cosmos, while a satellite floated alone. Its signal went nowhere.
“Woe to you,” cried the voiceless man,
“For I have beheld the breaking of the world,
And drank fast the tears of fallen Gods.”
“Woe to you,” laughed the voiceless man,
For the doom I forebode is the wrath of silence,
And you shall bathe alone in anguish,
Dreaming for yet, a reprieve from sorrow.
“Woe to you,” proclaimed the voiceless man,
For all things are fleeting, and every
martyr is in flux.
I have placed a curse upon the
heart of every angel, and made
passionate love to my despair.
All grace has died in me.
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 5, 2011 at 4:33 PM UTC
The passions had subsided, her body sheds warmth,
The flesh resonates and silence conquers vanity.
Yet my mind does not grasp desperately
To contain this passing ecstasy,
But merely observes its departure,
Absorbing the blissfulness of the shard,
As it drifts into annihilation.
I turn to her, whilst the song of sleep brings weariness,
The eyelids growing heavy,
There I met her gaze.
Such gray emptiness I saw in those eyes,
A solemn emptiness, one that spoke of grace,
One that spoke of empathy.
How fortunate I found myself, to have felt it graze
The untamed savagery and bitterness that lingered,
In the ruins of my shadows,
In the dark corners of my ashes.
I felt alive again in those eyes.
Yet even as I hold her, traveling beyond demons,
Traveling beyond dreams,
I knew she could not love me.
Dec 3, 2010
Dec 3, 2010 at 5:37 AM UTC
Do I dream of you, fair maiden?
You who brought warmth to a cold heart,
Calloused, writhing in disdain,
When neither mountain nor visions
Could soothe the emptiness and sharks
Swimming freely in the temporal ocean.
Yes, fair maiden, I do dream of you,
And I would trade all thoughts and all moments,
For but another glance from your eyes.
What radiance you saw in me, I myself could never see
And even now it is hidden, veiled,
But holding your favor, if only for an instant,
Nullified the demons, and unveiled the face of God.
Oct 8, 2010
Oct 8, 2010 at 4:58 PM UTC
Long ago I dreamt of mountains,
I dreamt of finding bliss,
I lay alone now, unfulfilled
I sleep in slime and ****
I travelled far, and left my home
In search of light and revelation,
But neither the road, nor the sky
Could sanctify my demons.
I sought to pray atop the spire
Where the clouds and mountains meet,
Though restoration of lost fire,
Is a mere idealistic dream.
I've had women, but never known love
For my impotency defines,
I bore not the mind nor matter
To obtain what could have been mine.
Bitterness, sweet bitterness
I make love to my cigarettes,
They keep me warm on coldest nights
When I am drowning in Solipsis.
In cinema, man is changed by journeys
But fictions are not always so,
For some wounds are beyond healing,
And I race now towards Thanatos.
Sep 8, 2010
Sep 8, 2010 at 11:07 AM UTC
My chest aches.
She lies suffering, in great pain.
I look into her eyes. There is great sadness in them.
She has not the strength to trudge on.
She does not wish to exist in this fashion.
I remember my youth, running with her in the field
Her voice was so joyous, resonating into the distance
She was swift and passionate, submerged in pride and loyalty.
She slept with me when I was ill,
Placed her head upon my lap.
I see tears in her eyes.
I lift the cage, the long drive begins.
She knows, as do I.
Destination reached, we enter the chamber.
She tries to stand, as the cage is placed upon the floor.
The man in the white coat shows compassion.
He has seen this many times.
He tells me she will suffer no longer,
That this is the eclipse of mercy.
I hold her close.
The first needle comes, to stifle her fear.
She whimpers in pain, and my throat chokes,
I tell her everything will be alright.
She stumbles, I try to hold her tight.
We lay upon the floor with one another.
She licks my face one last time, a parting gesture of love.
Her golden locks of fur remain majestic,
And she fights to maintain her dignity.
The second needle comes, and she cries out,
The sedative fills her, to ease the transition.
I hold her with all my might, her breath is eradic.
The contractions decline, and she breathes slower.
I kiss her head. I hope she knows I am still with her.
The breath slows to a murmur, and she lays in my arms.
The third needle comes, and the poison fills her body.
Seconds pass, though it feels as though I waited an eternity.
Her heart stops, as does mine.
I kiss her one last time, as she dwells in eternal sleep,
And I leave the chamber behind me.
I inhale the bitter taste of smoke, though
it does not quell my anguish.
The ash falls to the ground and the truth of mortality stabs me
in the eyes, as I suppress the flowing water.
She was more noble than I.
Her love was always pure.
I was glad to be with her, at the end of all things.
Aug 4, 2010
Aug 4, 2010 at 12:49 PM UTC
Woe to you, my dear Epsilon! You were ill-fated by machines,
Those that breathed life into your *****
Those that brought bliss to puppeteers.
Alas, poor Epsilon! You cannot dismantle the tower,
For you are of bad faith, the roots grew deep
Far beyond lamentation.
Play me a song, foolish Epsilon! Express to me your sorrow,
Compose for me the hymn of your alienation,
A requiem for subservience.
Jul 19, 2010
Jul 19, 2010 at 10:43 AM UTC
She is half black, she is half white
She was here once, yet no longer
I was with her only once, no more than that
There is lingering attachment, though I am detached from many things.
Jul 18, 2010
Jul 18, 2010 at 9:13 PM UTC
A walk way comprised of wooden planks
The stores on each side vacant, deserted
The hand of winter flows with vigor
And the stars are masked by clouds
She walks with me, brown hair, and distant eyes
Her body used and discarded by many men
She saw something in me that others saw not
Though I rejected that which may have manifested love
And I ponder now what might have been
For my perception of love remains obscured
And these moments are but shards
Jul 18, 2010
Jul 18, 2010 at 9:07 PM UTC
Before we were born, the earth was ravaged
Then came man, a proud desperate savage
And all that was good, he came to disparage
For the earth and man formed an unhealthy marriage.
We spend our whole lives in search of bliss,
But there is no jinn who can grant this wish
And its in this search that our purpose is missed
We stab one another with knives made by the Swiss.
They order the crowds, to cease and desist
For if they do not they will cease exist
Gas and metal slugs bring forth the red mist
Knuckles are shattered as batons connect with the fist.
Man embraces fear in response to innovation,
Beating down thinkers into deepest degradation
Unable to stomach these new variations,
He herds himself like cattle into old formations.
Evil inspiration born from futility
Laying aside all thoughts of humility,
Manufactured our own creative sterility
Crushing ideas in the name of stability.
Yet the from the rubble of all we despise,
When many are dead, and the stars are aligned
Will our species awaken, stumble and rise?
Look up to the cosmos and then our open our eyes.
Not to God but to our own coalescence
Or will we choose to embrace our own evanescence?
We expect truth to emerge from the heavens,
But only through virtue can we hope to find essence.
Jul 17, 2010
Jul 17, 2010 at 7:44 AM UTC
My closest allies perceive me as weak,
A soft skinny ******* scrawny and meek
But they know not, what it is that I seek
For anguish or strength the end is still bleak.
A pair of jaded eyes turns back to the south,
Nonsense and hatred are spewed from the mouth
I've been desensitized to the bitterness that I spout
Thoughts caught in the cycle, awaiting the fall out.
A dying star, burns out in a glorious blaze
The galaxy freezes, now void of the sun's rays
A black hole is opened in a beautiful display,
A new universe occurs when the old one fades.
Men are small, when taken in context
And feeling insecure they turn readily to violence
We repeat the same sins that we claim are behind us
Eternal life is a sham, one that death has denied us.
We all drift away and it goes unspoken,
Pacts and trust are designed to be broken
We swallow our words and they leave us chokin
The surgeon made the wound but he left it opened.
I've turned away and I'm letting the world rot
If true heroes exist, then they are what I know that I'm not
We look up to the heroes, but the true heroes get shot
I've turned away and now I'm laughing at a dead God.
The bitter man is lost in the zone,
He is waiting for guidance and he is waiting alone
A greedy emperor torn down from his throne
Egotistical follies, his true colors are shown.
At the heart of the desert, dying of thirst
Bloodied, and hateful, ugly and cursed
In madness and fire, the angels disperse
What was once passion has become perverse
Vanity or regret, I wonder what comes first
Truth itself has long since been placed in reverse
I have seen my soul and I have seen the worst
But I will not be changed and I will not be purged
Jul 17, 2010
Jul 17, 2010 at 7:36 AM UTC