I hate writing
Writing to me does not convey the meaning behind my words
Writing restrains me from translating the tornado of my thoughts
My words form into the stone they are set in
What said in writing becomes who you are
One kind act in a book, a saint canonized for eternity
One bad tweet, let that be future’s unknown burden
Writing is the glorifier and the change inhibitor
I don’t like writing because I lose my sense of being
I reveal what and how I think of and to the world
And the world just stares blankly
like crowds in astonishment or in ridicule
While others proceed to shine above
whilst writing and faking their way through words
A scene from Shakespeare
Said so fast with so many meanings,
difficult to interpret if there was vision to begin
I’m not saying I am bad at writing
I am able to reveal cyclones in essays
Hurricanes in space
Words spoken never to be heard aloud,
Comedies and tragedies
Love notes and suicide letters
Novels and Scriptures
Songs and Ballads
All for what?
For a chance to travel a point
To break through a closed mind
Set an idea that may change views
To let the reader view the world
Through the eyes of a stranger or friend
Why not let them?
Why am I to take myself too seriously
For humans are most comical when
We take ourselves too solemnly,
We over think ourselves into storms
But we also fly through typhoons
We build great nations from tribulation
We explore new lands from eruptions
We create new worlds from black holes
We travel through space and time from chaos
We create wonderlands out of madness
But to do so,
first we write
。
Oct 13, 2020
Oct 13, 2020 at 11:41 AM UTC
I don't know
How to weave words to delight a heart, or
How to gaze into eyes and be completely lost
I don't know
How to morph my thoughts into words, or
How to turn bad times into happy days, or
How to debate an argument and control my temper, or
How to show the world the real me, but
I'll learn
How to hold a hand so it fits perfectly in mine, and
How to show the feelings I never knew I had, and
How to open up my floodgates, my emotions, and
How to tell the difference between
"If it's meant to be, it'll be" and
"If you want it, go and get it"
I have a lot to learn
But I'll learn
I know.
Oct 13, 2020
Oct 13, 2020 at 11:24 AM UTC
A Nail, a small rod
a rod that sets the difference
between structure and collapse
One tip sharp to dig and impact
Dangerous alone without a guide
Ready to split and open a hard exterior
and grip into an ever impenetrable interior
To force an idea, a point
The other end flat for taking on a force needed to dig
Flat enough to focus the effort to force open and split
To forcibly separate and and guide dangers
To be the force behind the idea, the point
Using one's own hand to drive in
Damages the hand more than the exterior
Only brushing and leaving no mark
A hammer whether ball-peen, claw or mallet to drive in
May drive in the nail if hit just right
But miss and risk damaging the exterior
Only denting and bruising it
If you cannot seem to drive the nail
whether missing the flat end
or the material to impenetrable
you might be the need
of a sledgehammer
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 4:46 PM UTC
If cages are made
to imprison in monsters
then my skeleton is just
iron bars holding back
Goliaths and Laviathans.
Devils breathing through my lungs,
Furies claw my heart, and
Banshees make my ears bleed.
But my mind is kept company
by hope,
sealed safely in Pandora's box
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 5:27 PM UTC
I’ve never been the best at trusting others
I’ve never had the friends to lean on when times got hard
I’ve never had the experience of breaking down in front of someone
I’ve never had my own words that I could translate my thoughts
I’ve never been one to voice his opinion
I’ve never had the beautiful girl that was there for me to discover who I truly am;
to shed my armour and bear my heart
I’ve never had the inclination of who I am as a person and still doubt I know anything at all
I’ve never been one to bear such thoughts to the light of day
I’ve never been one to bear about the dark thoughts brought about by my own philosophy or by the thoughts of just ending it
I’ve never been one to confide in others
I've never been one to admit the dark days out weigh the good like the sun outshines the dismal light of an atom
I’m not the one to voice his complaints about the world around him
I’m the one that hates the person he sees in the mirror
I’m the one to fail to speak when everything is too much
I’m the one shattered behind locked doors
I'm the one that locked their heart away with iron bars, too afraid to let it become the leader
I’m the one screaming at top of his lungs in the middle of space
I'm the one with no voice to sing his future sons and daughters lullabies
I’m the one sobbing in an ocean of untold pain and agony
I’m the one that cant let himself cry in front of people as it feels like a sign of weakness, fearing of pity
I'm the one standing tall while I'm falling into a bottomless pit
I’m the one too depressed to love someone
I'm the one with too cold feet to tell someone how I feel
I'm the one with too cold fingers to hold their hand
I’m the one too weak to want to go on
But I’m one with no weapons, just a lot of ammunition
I’m the one choosing to unload it all into ****** verse to try and make sense of why I’m still here
I’m the one living in a world of disaster and hatred
And I am going to be the one who chooses to live in the world as a force for hatred to threatened by
For disaster to cower
I’m the one choosing to bear the worst of me and become better all for it
I'll show the best in me
I’m sorry to those I wrong
but I’m thankful for the lives I am a part of
And that’s why I can finally sleep at night
Because I am free and I can thrive and I can live
And I’m just happy I got to be a part of this so-called life
I’m the one always thinks of the way out
I’m just the one that chooses to live
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 4:48 PM UTC
Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
And between the two
My life flows.
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 5:58 PM UTC
I think, therefore I am
I think I am nothing, therefore I am
I think I am enough, therefore I am
We think, therefore we are
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 1:25 AM UTC
It takes a village to raise a child
sometimes it takes a city
sometimes it takes a whole country
Sometimes it only takes a woman that loves them unconditionally
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 3:28 PM UTC
I can’t say I didn’t
I can’t say I haven’t
I can’t say I don’t
But I can say I still do
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018 at 12:09 AM UTC
How do you say you have something to confess?
That you have a gaping hole in your chest
any time you think of your future
Because nothing is ever for sure
Nothing is set in stone
Because you can’t see yourself
You can’t see yourself living
for someone, for anything
When she says you don’t look okay
You say you are
but you really are not
You are pretty far from okay
You’re boring with a
side on annoying
You’re ignorant with a
side of oblivious
You’re anxious with a
mountain of depression
You can’t even put your
own thoughts into words
As the thoughts that run through
your head at speeds faster than light
And thoughts of depression are
always the hardest to fight
Depression that’s there when you’re during your happiest days
How do you run when your legs are
screaming and your feet bleed
and tear through the shoes you wear?
How do you escape when all
you do is sit and go nowhere?
How do you feel happy when the first time you’ve ever been truly happy
is with her in your arms?
How do you talk about the demons without breaking them out of their cages?
How do you talk about feelings
and your lack of emotions
without knowing what they are?
How do you tell her how much you love her without breaking down?
How do you open yourself to someone when no one has ever wanted you to?
How do you live when the bad days out weigh the the good by thousands to one?
What do you do when you shut down and shut up when you start writing or talking because you’ve been called annoying in the past for talking very little?
What do you do when you force yourself to never get attached to anything because whenever you start become happy, life slams you back further into the abyss?
What do you do when nobody on earth hates you as much as you do?
What do you do when you look into a mirror and hate what you see?
What do I do when my greatest fear is having someone see me as I see myself?
How do I say I miss you and that I’m sorry
I’m sorry for always saying it
But I’m sorry that you met me
This is not a confession
It is an apology
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 9:17 PM UTC