I can't stop myself now.
And I didn't think of you this time, except to note 'he was better.'
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 11:53 AM UTC
she is the kind of girl
you meet when you are so young
that the love overwhelms you
but now you will know loss
for the rest of your life.
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 11:51 AM UTC
alfie said 'heaven is real'
now I can't wait to go home.
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 10:10 PM UTC
30th November 18:47
at the hands of someone else, my collar bone is bruised but not broken. he didn't understand my body like you, let alone my soul. he probably thinks I don't have one and maybe I will too if I say it enough.
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 10:07 PM UTC
I don't think heartbreak gets easier after your first love, I think you just learn to love less.
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 5:00 PM UTC
I hope you smell me, get a hint of my shampoo as you brush the hair off of her shoulder
or her eyes are the same colour as mine, a shade of Autumn you would say. Smell me in the mixture of potions as you walk past the perfume shop, you can't quite put your finger on one. Smell me in the baby oil, an act of such pure intentions taking us back to our earliest days.
I hope you see me, in clubs
the back of a head from some stranger whose hair is the same colour and I am haunting your memory do u feel it
or do you see me in the faded face in a passing car window that makes your heart jump and your eyes double take. see me as a ghost on the streets we use to walk
close your eyes and hear me laughing as we leave, drunk
and decide where to eat
footsteps clip clop and occasional stumbling
I hope you hear me, in my favourite song as it comes on the radio
or in the strings of the violins tear at your heart strings when you play the orchestra solo at Christmas. or hear me in the cheesy songs and imagine me, the way I'd put my hands in the air and pop my hip. shaking my hair and see the music, pure life in my eyes.
most of all I wish you could feel me, now.
put a hand around my waist and move my hair off my neck. lay a kiss on my cheek as I sleep and you say I am 'blowing bubbles'
and maybe you will taste me
in the back of her mouth as you knelt and she said yes and it will taste like poison because it's been too many years to take back and you know, now, it should've been me all along.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 7:39 PM UTC
how wonderful,
to be in love
with someone
who loves you back
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 6:05 AM UTC
•
1. I am craving intimacy
I have forgotten, you see,
the feeling of skin
on skin.
to hold your hand
or lay a kiss on your cheek,
I am craving intimacy.
more than I have ever
craved cigarettes,
your breath on my neck
or the rising of your chest
as you sleep.
I am craving intimacy,
come give it to me.
2. I crave darkness
in your arms
though alone, I am terrified.
I crave moments
in which we can hide,
no eyes.
explore only with our sense of touch.
explore me blind,
I am yours.
3. there is no greater
accomplishment
than knowing your way
without sight.
that is what I want,
with your soul,
to know it so
I could recognise it
with my eyes closed.
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 9:30 PM UTC
I think, sometimes you have to say 'fuck this, I deserve better than you'
I've been saying that since I was 10 about my parents. Cos they **** you up, don't they? Your mum and your dad. **** I deserve more than a mother who cared more about a pint than my school shoes. A mother who knows more vulgarities than appraisals.
**** I deserve more than the bitchy-twig-thin-blonde that I convinced myself was my best friend for 5 years. u little ***** I deserve more than a text every 6 months about how you 'wish we were still friends.' I deserved more than taking the back seat for a guy. I deserve more than your texts to 'keep me sweet' and your promises that are as empty as your personality.
**** I deserved more than the 'friends' that made me feel bad about being sad. As if the complete ******* up of my life didn't have quite enough guilt. I deserved more than their forced drinking, I deserved more than being their run around, ordered around. I deserved more.
and ******* hell, did I deserve more than the ****** ex that near ruined, and ended, my life. I deserve more than to wonder if you're still alive, because in all honesty I tell people you are dead and I've never been much of a liar.
I deserve me. I deserved time by myself to get to know myself. You should get rid of ****** people because I've never been happier
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 8:55 PM UTC
can I bottle the butterflies
for you to release around your room when you miss me
baby, can you imagine
falling asleep to the gentle sound of their wings, barely even audible
it's not dissimilar to how you fall asleep to the touch of my fingertips lightly on the curve of your back
oh,
and I love to trace over your stretch marks
though you say you hate them
they are just like my scars really,
a reminder that you're growing from the person you used to be.
and I love the way they almost glisten in the light,
god do they fascinate me
it doesn't matter what I give you for Christmas
because it will never meet the standard of what you have given me
for the first time in my life
I have come to the realisation
that I ******* deserve to, and I can, be happy
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 8:31 PM UTC