here we are: our own paradise.
we’re sat in your green
hunk-of-junk named florence.
the air is stained with
the smell of **** and unrequited love.
you’re so comfortable here;
smiling, laughing, and singing along
to every song on the radio
(even if you don’t know all the words)
you’re an angel, you always have been.
i think i’ve always known, but i see it now.
your wings begin to emerge
from the hole you’ve kept them in
for so long.
they aren’t what i expected,
instead they’ve faded
and appear to be broken.
it’s as if someone had plucked away
at you for so long,
damaging every part of who you are,
the feathers have stopped growing in.
oh, how i wish i could fix them for you.
i would do anything to find
your lost pieces
and put them back together for you.
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 6:20 AM UTC
i ****** up.
i don’t know how else to say it.
four years ago, i made the worst decision of my life, and ruined everything between us.
i ended things with you. i told you i needed to fix myself before i could love you like you deserved. and i was right, i did need to fix myself, but i should’ve let you help. i shouldn’t have ended everything with you and i will regret it ‘til the day i die.
we were in love. we had it all. and i ****** up.
there’s nothing on this earth that i wouldn’t do to fix that part of us. it still haunts me; what could’ve been.
i know it’s too late, and i know you don’t feel the same anymore, but im convinced you are the only one for me. my soulmate.
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 5:16 AM UTC
soon, the day will come.
i won’t rely on you anymore.
the light will return, and i will blossom.
i’ll start taking care of myself,
i won’t depend on you
to pick me up when i fall.
because i won’t fall anymore.
i won’t need anyone but myself,
and when that day comes,
everything will change and i will be better.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 8:13 PM UTC
i've had questions.
who are you?
why can't i believe in your existence?
i want to, i want to believe in a higher power.
i want to believe that there is someone watching over me,
protecting me, blessing me with love and guiding me through life.
but i don't understand.
i don't understand who or what you are.
why do people depend on you?
when do you decide to help, and when to hinder?
how can you choose who to save, and who to leave behind?
Jan 11, 2019
Jan 11, 2019 at 9:10 AM UTC
as she held his face in her hands,
she knew nothing would compare to this moment.
when she stared into the blank craters situated on his face,
she was mesmerized by just how beautiful he was.
she felt his gaunt fingers pressing into her waist
as she leaned towards him.
as she pressed her lips to where his once were,
she no longer feared what happens after death.
she no longer feared dying.
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 3:27 AM UTC
im losing myself.
i can feel the woman inside me
quietly ransacking the inside of my brain,
trying to find a weak spot
so she can take off
with the last bit of free will that i have left.
i can feel the life draining from my body.
i want to shriek and kick at her hands full of my life;
but my limbs don’t move.
i try to scream, but no sound comes out.
anxiety begins to course through my bloodstream.
i feel it pumping into my heart,
up to my brain,
leaving a blistering trail of agony behind it.
please, i try to shout at her.
i try to make her stay.
“i’ve been gone for years, my love.” her voice sends goosebumps all over my body.
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 1:47 AM UTC
i see you, love.
i notice how hard you're trying,
and i admire your strength and courage.
i know it's not easy, and i know you want to give up.
but i see you. you're not invisible,
you're valued.
did you relapse?
if you did, that's okay, you didn't fail.
are you only a day clean?
that's okay, i'm proud of you.
you have a purpose.
your voice deserves to be heard by all.
don't give up, keep fighting.
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 5:56 PM UTC
you were the moon,
and i, the tide.
you hauled me in,
only to set me loose again.
"i'm sorry, i love you"
bruises from the impact litter my spine, my ribs.
"forgive me"
the words emerge from your coarse lips,
begging me to overlook the torment.
"it won't happen again"
i try to escape, to fly away,
but the arduous grip of your hand keeps me on the ground,
cemented with a scar to show for it.
and as i stare at you, the fury burning in your eyes,
it's now me repeating those same words.
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 5:40 PM UTC
do you look both ways before you cross my mind?
or do you cut across the tracks,
hoping my train of thought hits you?
forcing me to think of you?
do you revel in the anguish you cause me,
as you dance around my consciousness?
do you bathe in the tears i shed over you?
do you frolic on the shattered fragments of my heart,
grinning at the work you did?
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 5:16 PM UTC
the scent of you still lingers.
a piece of you is embroidered into my pillow,
and i can never bring myself to wash it;
to get rid of the only remnant of you that i have left.
so it remains,
the pillow tucked away in the corner of my bed, untouched.
untouched, until i miss you. until i lie awake, staring at the ceiling.
only then, do i touch it.
only then, do i hold it, and breathe in your scent.
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 9:22 AM UTC