I do think there's a god,
But sometimes I wonder. Why?
Why would he allow sin to exist
Why do we have to live an entire life of suffering
Before we finally see him on the other side?
Some people say we chose this life, and it was our free will that caused it.
But does that mean there's still sin in heaven?
Or is there no free will?
If it's the latter we could've just skipped this step
And if it's the former is heaven really a place worth going?
I don't mean to sound pessimistic about it but
I just want to understand.
Is this the curse of the tree of knowledge?
Obviously sin doesn't exist in heaven.
Sin can't exist in God's presence.
So that means our ability to sin is gone.
So why did it have to be there from the start?
All free will does is let me make bad choices.
It lets me ruin my life.
Maybe I'll ask him tonight, if I'm brave enough
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 7:24 AM UTC
I got everything I ever wanted.
A stable job where they all seem to care.
I married the girl I've loved since high school.
So when does this whole happiness thing start?
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 4:16 AM UTC
I spent about four hundred on Amazon yesterday
Just some stuff I've been wanting for a while
That's a whole car payment
It's probably okay
But a question keeps popping into my head
Will I still have any of it a year from now?
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 2:57 AM UTC
My addiction to **** haunts me daily
Moreso haunts my wife, actually
Can't get it up for her when she finally wants me
Cause I ****** it just a few hours before
It's sad what I'm doing to her
But society deems it "normal" and "healthy"
Only ones who'll even admit it's bad are the religious types
Are we so anti God we have to say it's good just because some priest says otherwise?
If it doesn't endanger our comfort it's okay
I'm tired of hearing it
Sometimes I wish we never invented farming
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 11:33 PM UTC
I thought I prepared myself this time
Convinced I could lower my guard
I let down my walls for just a second
I let them kick me while I'm down
But it's winter
And I always forget
It hurts much worse in the cold
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 29, 2019 at 11:20 PM UTC
I know it's all I write about
But I just miss being a kid
I'd love to not have any problems
But I wouldn't want to put my mom through that again
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
Sitting on the floor in the middle of the room
I scrape my hand on the inside of the bowl
And shovel gruel into my mouth.
Starving, I scoop another handful down my gullet.
Something wet lands in my lap
I look down and see my stomach burst open, slop spilling out.
A crowded room and no one notices.
I stop eating to catch my breath
Their heads all whip to my direction
Eyes locking on me.
My stomach growls
I scoop another handful.
Everyone goes back to what they were doing.
It's probably better this way.
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 12:43 AM UTC
Bar with friends
I don't Know
Them and I
Don't know me
Overwhelmed
By feelings
Of disgust
I want death
To myself
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 3:06 AM UTC
Leaving home is always more difficult than you anticipate
It's not just losing your friends or learning new roads
It's all the little things you don't think about before you go
No one knows your favorite convenience store
No one remembers that twenty-five cent palm reader in the K-mart that closed down a few years back
No one can sing along to the radio jingles you've grown up with
And that goes both ways
It's a wonder anyone can make friends as an adult
I want to go back home
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 4:36 AM UTC
I went out in the dust storm yesterday
Sepia clouds filling the sky, but just on one side
Dense clouds obscuring the east
Clear as day over the shoulder
In moments I was engulfed
And I said goodbye to the westward sun
As the grains of sand, one by one
Pelted me in the face
Engulfed in earth
Baptised by the world
Out of vanity is my unbirth
And I don't even flinch
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 4:24 AM UTC