Only a moment ago stood a father
Keys in his hands to a truck that lost its driver
To a bad decision and a bottle of beer
Sitting in a dark room is a bed
That will no longer hold a body
Down the hall a mother breaks
Feeling the loss of a last breath
As if it were her own punctured lungs
Hitting the steering wheel
As water floods the engine
Two men stand at her doorstep
One refusing to look her in the eyes
The other apologizing for his words
That should never be said
For the labeling of childless parents
Before this moment a boy sat
Posed as a man on the edge of a bar stool
Consuming his death wish through his lips
An apology engraved in the fold of his throat
Giving an approximation to his silence
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 1:15 PM UTC
I just want to be remembered.
I just want to hear my name be spoken when I can no longer speak myself. Me. Me. Me. Me and you. You and I.
I just want someone to cry, pressing their phone to their ear, listening through the ringing, listening to the beep, listening to the voice mail. Listening to my voice. Again. Another round. Beep. Just one more time. I’m not here right now but you can leave me a message.
I just want someone to get on their knees, beg for me, please come back; you can’t be gone; you couldn't leave so quickly, so quietly, so young.
I just want to watch my funeral; watch the people who say they loved me, watch the people who say they will always remember, watch the people who will forget me in four months; watch them cry their forced tears over my dead body. We’ll all miss you.
You were always a beautiful person.
I just want to find my name written in the margin of someone’s notebook. Over and over. Again. Again. Darker. Again.
Break the pencil. Wipe the tears off the paper.
Start over with a new pencil.
I just want to watch him crumble; say his last goodbye, say another last goodbye, say it until his voice has grown hoarse and he can say it no longer; I love you. I will always love you. Why’d you leave me? Why would you do this to me? I needed you; I still need you.
I need you here so I can say goodbye. I need to say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 10:42 AM UTC