It seems that every time my mind wanders to the thought of you,
My heart literally begins to hurt.
But I'm not trying to be immature about it,
I literally have chest pains that are usually caused by high stress levels.
You know sometimes just the thought of you makes me want to swallow a knife,
But I was diagnosed with a mental disorder a long time ago.
So don't you worry if I actually do.
Quite frankly, as far as everyone else is concerned,
It wasn't and couldn't have been your fault.
You know some nights after we argue I cry myself to sleep,
But don't you worry about that,
I've been called worse things by you before.
It seems as though this relationship has put both of us in quite the predicament,
With two people sitting pretty on the edge of insanity,
It probably won't end well.
But don't you worry about that either dear,
Because we're both already dead anyway.
Nov 9, 2013
Nov 9, 2013 at 4:14 PM UTC
I began writing this at noon
And I didn't know how to begin it
All I knew was that there was nothing that could get you off my mind
So my mind wandered aimlessly through its skewed memories of you,
As it always does
Until it abruptly stopped on the day you left for the first time
I saw the signs in every curve and crack
It said it in every detail in your face,
That was so apparent in the dull light
"I don't love you any-more"
The look of disdain on my face was so perfectly familiar to you
And the sulk in your step as you walked away was brand new to me
So here I am over a year after you turned and left for the first time
Retracting my steps wondering where it all went wrong and why
Drowning myself in my own thoughts
And from time to time,
I think I know why the thought of you makes me cry
But then I remember
That the real you was never even mine
Oct 26, 2013
Oct 26, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC
Two hands
Longing for each other's warmth
Searching for one another
In the darkness
Their fingers tremble
Finding comfort in their suffering
They inch a tiny bit closer
Such a simple thing meant so much more
Their hands finally become one
The darkness became weary
Their interlocked bones gave their hearts a place to rest
When pain and fear had turned and left
Oct 6, 2013
Oct 6, 2013 at 6:26 PM UTC
You stole my heart when
You first said my name
You broke my heart when
You left me
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
Her voice screamed
"You have no reason to be depressed
Your life is just fine"
But she doesn't know that my mind
Constantly rots away because of it and
She doesn't know that my heart
Is always filled with doubt
And all I need her to understand
Is that my life may be fine
But I am not
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
My head is crowded
With thoughts of you
Like how your subtle smirk
Can light up an entire room
Or how your eyes glisten
When you see something you love
And how they never do that
When you look at me
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
I remember the darkness
It was so thick I couldn't see
And the demons in my closet
Were my only companions
The light tried to shine through
The warmth almost reached me too
But the darkness overcame me
And I was alone again
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 9:59 PM UTC
I'm on the edge of nowhere
Feeling awfully bitter and cynical
And worn down
Pondering what it is about me that keeps him out
Because all I ever do is love him when he's sad
And happy
And lost
And angry enough to burn holes in once cherished photographs
Now he's smiling
And laughing
And he's in need of no reassurance
He's the reason I'm failing tests and zoning out at the dinner table
All that is left in me is static
I just hope he knows
That I've never wished unhappiness on anyone until now
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 7:08 PM UTC
I try my hardest to find someone to escape myself with
I find a person that makes it easiest for me to stray from my darkest thoughts
I've been running from myself since I was a child
Does that make me childish, that I try so hard to escape my own faults?
Or does it rather, make me human?
I go to people to get away from me, that makes me a terrible person right?
I’m like a leech
I **** the happiness and wisdom from those around me until they burn me off
That could only mean I’m better off alone right?
I am writing this piece about myself, that makes me conceited, right?
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 6:56 PM UTC
There are many things that I am
Cynical and sarcastic
Sardonic and witty
Lazy and nostalgic
But one thing that I am not
Is yours
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 6:05 PM UTC