They taught us all the same story—
chase the shining life,
climb the ladder rung by rung,
collect the milestones like charms
that are supposed to glow
once you finally hold them.
But what if the glow was a lie?
What if happiness was just a word
they carved into the air
to keep us walking forward,
to stop us from asking
why the world feels so hollow?
They said:
find love, build a home,
work hard and you’ll feel whole.
But I did those things,
or watched others do them,
and the world didn’t shift,
the emptiness didn’t fade—
the prize never matched the promise.
Some days it seems like everyone
is pretending the same pretend,
smiling on command,
acting out a happiness
no one truly feels,
as if the truth would crack the world open
if we dared to speak it aloud.
Maybe the biggest lie of all
is that joy is a destination,
waiting like a treasure.
Yet every time we arrive,
the chest is full of dust.
And I’m left wondering
if anyone really believes the story—
or if we’re all just trying not to admit
that nothing feels the way
they said it would.
Dec 1, 2025
Dec 1, 2025 at 4:11 PM UTC
Scared
I had a moment
A moment of real happiness
A silly loving happy moment
It felt like learning to laugh again but also strange
It really was a good moment
But I'm scared
Scared to fail
Scared to ruin this
Scared of never being enough
I feel like it's unfair to you
Like I'm not worthy of love
What if I don't find my will to live
What if I keep seeing you but I still break
I feel like you are worth more than my misery.
It's ironic how we're struggling with the opposite things
Me scared to live and you scared of dying
I really try to let you in but I could never tell you everything. Even tho I think you might understand. I'm so scared of that pitty look in your eyes.
It's hard to explain but I feel guilty dating you. Don't get me wrong I do like you but it feels like Im doing something wrong
Dec 18, 2023
Dec 18, 2023 at 3:35 PM UTC
My head is filled with all these thoughts
Dark thoughts
It never stops, it just keeps spinning, keeps molding.
It keeps dreaming, wishing and hoping
On a way out of this live
Dark thoughts but peaceful to plan
In a dark tunnel with only one way out
Only one solution
The tunnel is full of agony. Can't stay in here for much longer.
Longing for the end
Longing to be free
The best gift I could receive is the dead to me
Dec 18, 2023
Dec 18, 2023 at 3:31 PM UTC
I'm done
Done faking a smile
Done acting like I'm fine
Because I'm not!
When I was a kid I felt like there was no place for me not to be okay.
Everybody was to busy with other problems.
Mental health of my brother, the ****** up partners of my mother, the addiction of my brother.
I felt like I needed to be okay, but I hate they always assumed I was fine. Because I feel like i never was.
I'm not fine!
But I got so good in faking a smile, I don't know how to take the mask off anymore.
I have no clue who I am
I got to good in hiding inside, I don't know how to get out. So stuck inside
Jan 2, 2023
Jan 2, 2023 at 4:39 PM UTC
I want to take the mask off
But I'm scared of how people would react
I'm scared
But not only of how they would react
But of the real me
Scared of letting go
Scared of hurting others by letting go
I think about the letters I want to write to people when I say goodbye to the word
I think about leaving every day
The only time I wanted to keep on living was when I was with you
I thank you for that but I also hate it!
It's like it only got worse since then
I forgot how to fight that feeling
Forgot how I kept going
I used to think it would get better when I have my degree and then my dream job. But now I don't know what to look forward to. I don't know what to dream for. I lost hope of things getting better. So I only dream of saying goodbye. I dream of different ways to say goodbye.
I think of all the letters I want to write and some time I even start writing them.
So why I'm a still alive?
For the people how know me and would read this?
How do you even start to explain??
How do you explain that you wished you were dead from the age of 11
Of do you explain that a smiley girl was secretly dying inside.
Jan 2, 2023
Jan 2, 2023 at 4:09 PM UTC
I always thought love was enough
I thought things didn’t mather that mutch as long that you love each other
I’m not saying I thought it would be sunshine and rainbows all the time
But you get thru it whit love and for love, right?
But you sed you loved me, you say you still do?
So are you lying or do I have so much wrong
doesn’t every couple make sacrifices for each other?
isn’t everybody scared of what’s coming?
or am I so hard to live whit? maybe it isn’t love maybe it’s just me?
is a future whit me so much more scaring than a future alone?
Just tell me you don’t love me
because it’s so much worse to love me and not wanting to be whit me than just not loving me at all.
Feb 3, 2020
Feb 3, 2020 at 9:07 PM UTC
A breakup hurts and that totally normal
I just lost someone I love
And it’s strange how everything changes in a few minutes
Because of those few words
Left me whit so many questions
Left me empty and hurt
But the fact that you don’t wanna be whit me anymore doesn’t hurt the most
It’s the reason why
At this moment I wanna be mad at you but I cant
I’m mad at my self, mad on my own body
I already hated my body, but I didn’t think it affected other people.
Having to hear my body, my ******* disease is the reason you can’t be whit me
HURTS
It took me long enough to accept I’ll never get better
It took me longer to believe I still deserve to be whit someone, to believe something like a disease or illness shouldn’t matter when you love someone.
Now you make me dought what took me so long to believe, now you make me dought myself.
But I’m strong! I can still do what I want and I will still have the greatest adventures, I’ll prove that to you. I’m not saying I’ll be painless or everything will go easy but I won’t make it influence my dreams.
But for love, you can **** off
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 8:34 AM UTC
In dark times
A flower closes
He won’t open till the light is back in his life
Maybe it would be easy to be a flower
Just turning away, closing my eyes when it's dark
But we're not
We can’t turn away and wish everything will be ok
You’ll have to do something
Because time won’t be standing still
Even if you are
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 7:02 AM UTC
It’s dark
the flowers close
The water lily that was showing its self at the light now closed
Hiding away from the dark
Away till the light returns again
Keeping itself warm and tight
It would be easy
To easy
We’re not flowers
We can’t just wait in dark time’s and hide
We can’t aspect that the light will come back when we hide in a dark room
You must get up and put on the light
Don’t wait till someone else does it for you
Because they may not know you are in a dark room
There light may blind them
But just put on the light and open up
Show yourself, show how strong you are
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 7:00 AM UTC
Always looking forward to what comes next
to the good that is coming
knowing everything will change
the puzzle of your life will come together
Just dream your dream and don’t give up
fight for it
life may **** right now but it will change
you won’t be in this place forever
you still have a whole life ahead of you
But that view changed
It changed the day they told me the pain won’t go away
that changed the day they told me to change my life whit no hope of getting better
the day they told me I was chronically ill and it has no treatment no cure
Now I don’t know what I’m fighting for
every day I wake up knowing it only gets worse
not knowing how long I can do this
Feeling like I can’t handle anymore but it’s just the beginning
so please tell me what I’m I fighting for
because I don’t see the good in what's coming
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 14, 2018 at 6:54 AM UTC