The cemetery of my mind, my body under my heart shaped grave
frustrating spits of rain over my last bouquet that had withered over months. The time I took to fix the stems seems useless as it still decays, beyond myself;
I stay sealed in my casket, a frame on the shelf with my smiling face. I was lost but still -
touching veins, delicately shaking under sheets of white; that then lay me to rest, cold cuts into dead skin
leaving my flesh to breathe in the smoke from stairways of light - resting, left-overs in the morgue.
My corpse unfinished, their hands curing rigor mortis. I hear the mortician whispering, ‘it takes time’
but this void of life inside means I cannot feel growth. His words echoing past my unaware sleep. I’m beyond saving and I show nothing. Aside from,
grinning for my funeral
Nov 1, 2022
Nov 1, 2022 at 11:04 AM UTC
cruelty is all I adore
in this nightmare i’ve had several times before
my bed is kissed with blood
from this devotion to violent love
you forced me to believe in
now lilies flower from my heart breaking
reliving all you did in dreams
so I lie awake, petals bursting at my seams
still waiting for you to disappear completely
Jan 15, 2021
Jan 15, 2021 at 5:48 PM UTC
i live in the heart of my predator
once blissfully unaware
sleeping in pink floral sheets
now wallpaper white and withered
have curled into teeth
dripping blooming lilies
knowing this i still crawl into my hunter's mouth
and cry to sleep
as prey for my own home
Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 2:34 PM UTC
this october i will never leave my bed
until all my friends think i am dead
i'll be sleeping in my grave this halloween
Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 2:32 PM UTC
i'm living in my haunted house
with a shadow of myself
and about ten others too
in my haunted house
i'm a ghost in my own room
where i lost my mind over and over
so i'm never going home
Jul 26, 2020
Jul 26, 2020 at 2:31 PM UTC
you choose to appear
so deliberately
when i find something delicate
i am hopeless
with your presence
treading so lightly in love
to keep you away
my worries turn to prayers
i recite every fleeting
yet everlasting moment you are here
when will i forget (you)?
Mar 6, 2020
Mar 6, 2020 at 3:32 PM UTC
i woke up in a tear stained lace dress black boots
still drunk with bruised wrists i woke up delicate
feeling hallow i woke up hopeless & next to a
man much older than me no longer innocent
haunted by what he had done still believing he
loved me i woke up ******* manic on a monday
morning to run barefoot & say goodbye to my
friend for the last time & to get high before college
or school but i cant remember which i woke up
from a bittersweet dream where an awful friend
held me under the flowers to say he was sorry for
the things he couldnt remember but i would never
forget & he told me he was crueler than i can
imagine i woke up wishing it was a real apology i
woke up sick in bed barely breathing from too
many pills i woke up devastated to still be alive i
woke up in a cheap hotel room with a boy i met
once at a gig when we had nothing left to give i
woke up faded on medication with my friends
hand up my skirt & i had made sure to wear my
nicest underwear ivory silk since i knew it would
happen again & woke up crying i woke up
desperate i woke up idyllically lonely under death
in the stars i woke up numb & made of porcelain i
woke up not entirely here & woke up bleeding &
woke up grieving. i woke up in everlasting fear
im not entirely sure if i ever woke up this morning
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 5:22 PM UTC
she waits alone far away from the group, where she can feel lost. the blades of grass, long enough to distort the fabric of her dress. lace curled around botanical rings. Delicate pink petals that she collects, iris’ she plucks gently by the stem. pollen glitter reflecting rays through the trees, concealing her scuffed knees. taking a white wildflower into her collection, for a makeshift bouquet.
This is where she felt at peace, almost real but not yet. but seeing a figure split amongst the trees, running catching it’s own pieces. the fragments of shadows leaking into the flowers. perspective of her corpse, left in the forest, watching the world decay faster than her dreams. It reaches out for her, one step closer, until
the warm embrace of a familiar face, clutching her closer as the figure vanishes. kissing her neck and taking her back, feeling the rush of blood fill her cheeks, pool in her once numb hands. the fleeting feeling of possible love masking the fear, hearts around her head. No longer feeling dread, of wishing the forest could take her life instead.
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 12:56 PM UTC
i am hopelessly in love with memories
of adoring you and your strawberries
we would lie in your single bed you had since you were seven
promising to never love sober again
while you ate a strawberry shortcake of a porcelain plate
dressed up sultry to be sick till you faint
my cheeks rosey, sweetened with drops of nicotine
admiring you while you decorate your own guillotine
you told me if you’re sick the baby will be sick
i didn’t understand it, till i was throwing up strawberries in the sink
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019 at 7:37 PM UTC
hiding in his own wardrobe is a man named laurance
his home has no tables, no chairs
only a mattress and a set of stairs
he had made a furniture fire
weirdly a story i admire
for winter when he couldn't afford heating
burning his door to keep his heart beating
but i wouldn't give laurance any pity
since he wasn't so witty
he spent all his rent money on acid
and boxes of cigarettes he sold for a quid
because of this he hides in his cupboard
from his ****** off landlord
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 8, 2019 at 9:07 PM UTC