and it's pretty warm for december
the kind of weather where we'd roll down your windows
drive around that place you call home
i hate that place now
i was thinking about you
what's new
but more about last night's xanax bar
the way it made me feel weightless
and mostly because i didn't miss you in those moments
i'm going to do more
i'm sorry
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 12:30 PM UTC
I may stab myself at any moment
I'm so glad you haven't made any imprint in my family's life
(You never tried)
Going to abuse drugs and alcohol until my face falls off
I want to take a knife and stab myself to death
I'm going to **** myself
I'm going to **** myself because I'll never hear you call me bunny again
I'm gonna throw up
This is a PSA for my obituary
Sorry mom
Taking steps toward suicide
I want to lay down in the middle of the street until a 5 ton truck crushes every bone in my body
I'm going to **** myself
Take pity on me I need it this morning
Pity kisses
Pity ***
Pity cuddling
I acted strong but I can break down so easily
I was so nervous to see you and you let me down again
Dear immune system, let me die in my sleep
Dear heart, I'm sorry I let him break you again
I tried to kiss you in the woods and you pushed me away like I was nothing
The way you said stop was like laying on shards of glass
Do you ever just want to put a gun in your mouth and shoot bullets into your brain
You need to stop letting him do this to you
You need to get away
Very in the mood to lay down with you like we used to with a bottle of wine and a good movie and your lips on mine
You used me
You ******* used me to cope with your sorrow
And then you stopped loving me
I'm crying quietly again
The wine did nothing
I never ever ever want to let go. You're there somewhere, I know it
You make me feel so insignificant
Like I never mattered
I'm so in love with you
It won't go away
I missed the guy you were at 12 AM last night, that's the guy I know
You hit me
I can't stop thinking of you
If I dream about you tonight again I'll go blind I swear
Four months later and I want to throw up I miss what we had so much
Month nine. Here I am
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 1:03 AM UTC
Demain, dès l’aube, à l’heure où blanchit la campagne,
Je partirai. Vois-tu, je sais que tu m’attends.
J’irai par la forêt, j’irai par la montagne.
Je ne puis demeurer **** de toi plus longtemps.
Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées,
Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit,
Seul, inconnu, le dos courbé, les mains croisées,
Triste, et le jour pour moi sera comme la nuit.
Je ne regarderai ni l’or du soir qui tombe,
Ni les voiles au **** descendant vers Harfleur,
Et quand j’arriverai, je mettrai sur ta tombe
Un bouquet de houx vert et de bruyère en fleur.
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 7:42 PM UTC
he doesn't get it
he doesn't want me
i am broken and damaged
crumpled up and thrown away
not meant to be picked up again
he promised unconditional love
and visits whenever i was lonely
(something i wished had came out of your mouth)
he promised never to hurt me
to always protect me
but he doesn't want this
he doesn't know that i'll hurt him
he doesn't
because when it's three in the morning
and i'm drunk
it's you i'll call
it will always be you
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 6:46 PM UTC
why won't you just tell me
that we're still in love
because i can't stop breathing your air
dreaming of your hands around my waist
this is torture
the drama on purpose
i knew you were still there
i knew it
i'd like to wait for you if that's okay
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 10:48 AM UTC
tell me your secrets under purple skies
whisper in my ear in a crowded room that i am the equation
blow pain killers with me in a five by five bathroom
so close your hips are pressed against me
why am i always after unavailable men
emotionally, physically, mentally
but the way you look at me
makes me weak
i can say your smile is the best medicine
that i've taken in months
the way you pick me up around your waist
and say you've missed me
you're different
you could be just what i need
if i let go
and you let go
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 1:49 AM UTC
I could tell you what it’s like to be scared of the person you love
But it would also be a romantic poem
About a life that happened centuries ago, when you made me smile with a simple hello
I could tell you that I held you until you fell asleep even after you were violent with me
Knowing you didn’t want me to stay
But thinking of this version of you makes me want to *****
And I’m stuck in a perpetual high because it’s the only thing that helps me laugh anymore
I ******* miss you
I miss the person that ******* hit me and I don’t know why
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 14, 2015 at 10:46 PM UTC