evan-x - Hello Poetry

Side effects. Inherently present in a drug, Yet viewed as a separate entity. Taking what is good, Weighing it out to decide the outcome. I’m just left to wonder, are emotions, love and suffering, the side effects of being human?

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Sep 20, 2019

Sep 20, 2019 at 11:11 PM UTC

evan-x

Side Effects

Side effects. Inherently present in a drug, Yet viewed as a separate entity. Taking what is good, Weighing it out to decide the outcome. I’m just left to wonder, are emotions, love and suffering, the side effects of being human?

8

I wish I could have it all I could get high and watch it dissolve Have an adventure in my head Make the loneliness interesting I’ve been trying to stop speeding But I fall down and crash A trip to the hospital This time I won’t make it back I’ve got a list of fears Greatest being myself Can’t shake the urge to stop neglecting myself I don’t value wealth Too much pressure on my conscious To remain conscious The days add up like addition Couple that with a bad personality You got addiction Sharing what’s in my head Not as good as seeing you in my bed Swimming doggie paddle But my muscles are giving out

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Sep 20, 2019

Sep 20, 2019 at 10:57 PM UTC

evan-x

Problems

I wish I could have it all I could get high and watch it dissolve Have an adventure in my head Make the loneliness interesting I’ve been trying to stop speeding But I fall down and crash A trip to the hospital This time I won’t make it back I’ve got a list of fears Greatest being myself Can’t shake the urge to stop neglecting myself I don’t value wealth Too much pressure on my conscious To remain conscious The days add up like addition Couple that with a bad personality You got addiction Sharing what’s in my head Not as good as seeing you in my bed Swimming doggie paddle But my muscles are giving out

21

I don’t have a purpose There is no end I lost my best friend Because of my own breath Who am I then? Not seeing you next to me in bed If I had a bullet it’d go straight through My head I am made of toxins Materials that don’t belong I don’t know why I was born I don’t want to live too long. Cut myself up over you Can’t blame you Sweetheart I’m unlovable, Full of poison Bleed me Let me die. The silence is agonizing My heart is spent The mirror looks at me Who am I Im ready to die.

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Sep 19, 2019

Sep 19, 2019 at 8:20 PM UTC

evan-x

Untitled

I don’t have a purpose There is no end I lost my best friend Because of my own breath Who am I then? Not seeing you next to me in bed If I had a bullet it’d go straight through My head I am made of toxins Materials that don’t belong I don’t know why I was born I don’t want to live too long. Cut myself up over you Can’t blame you Sweetheart I’m unlovable, Full of poison Bleed me Let me die. The silence is agonizing My heart is spent The mirror looks at me Who am I Im ready to die.

24

God Sober mind Healthy diet Daily medication Sunrise/sunset meditation Social interaction Healthy brain function Lower blood pressure Self understanding Acceptance Learning Exercise Reconnecting/making new friends No energy theft Mind to myself Happiness Freedom Goals Reminding myself I’m where I need to be Have the power to change the world

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Sep 6, 2019

Sep 6, 2019 at 3:20 PM UTC

evan-x

The bright side.

God Sober mind Healthy diet Daily medication Sunrise/sunset meditation Social interaction Healthy brain function Lower blood pressure Self understanding Acceptance Learning Exercise Reconnecting/making new friends No energy theft Mind to myself Happiness Freedom Goals Reminding myself I’m where I need to be Have the power to change the world

20

Someone asked me what I was thinking about today. I don’t like to think anymore, I don’t value myself, I will never understand how someone else can be happy. I’m barely happy when I’m numb. Digging my own grave, Slowly but surely I digress. There’s nobody left listening, Hearing a dial tone, Expecting an answer. I know you’re somewhere, Better you than me. I see you acting strange I can tell it’s not love. My future looks bright, There is no future for me, I’ll lead myself to the grave Oh.

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Sep 6, 2019

Sep 6, 2019 at 3:07 PM UTC

evan-x

I know you’re somewhere

Someone asked me what I was thinking about today. I don’t like to think anymore, I don’t value myself, I will never understand how someone else can be happy. I’m barely happy when I’m numb. Digging my own grave, Slowly but surely I digress. There’s nobody left listening, Hearing a dial tone, Expecting an answer. I know you’re somewhere, Better you than me. I see you acting strange I can tell it’s not love. My future looks bright, There is no future for me, I’ll lead myself to the grave Oh.

18

Keep your heart full As you were born All the colors, sights, sounds, were exciting. There’s a lot of people who run their heart on empty, A lot of them fall victim to the trivialities of society. Money, social unrest, internal tension, You must keep your heart unscathed, For it is perfect in Love when you were born. Remain unmoved by those who oppose you, Remember they are already numb.

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Aug 29, 2019

Aug 29, 2019 at 6:17 PM UTC

evan-x

Reality 2

Keep your heart full As you were born All the colors, sights, sounds, were exciting. There’s a lot of people who run their heart on empty, A lot of them fall victim to the trivialities of society. Money, social unrest, internal tension, You must keep your heart unscathed, For it is perfect in Love when you were born. Remain unmoved by those who oppose you, Remember they are already numb.

10

I have so many questions You’ve already answered So I’m not anxious during the day I think about creation I think about how special How precious and whole the Earth is But I leave it hanging Trust is scarce nowadays My God My Lord my God & Lord The gates are open, The blood was poured, I call on your name Emmanuel, God of Israel, Blessings unto Your holy name.

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Aug 29, 2019

Aug 29, 2019 at 5:40 PM UTC

evan-x

Emmanuel

I have so many questions You’ve already answered So I’m not anxious during the day I think about creation I think about how special How precious and whole the Earth is But I leave it hanging Trust is scarce nowadays My God My Lord my God & Lord The gates are open, The blood was poured, I call on your name Emmanuel, God of Israel, Blessings unto Your holy name.

17

Do not lose time on daily trivialities. Do not dwell on petty detail. For all of these things melt away and drift apart within the obscure traffic of time. Live well and live broadly. You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead.

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Aug 28, 2019

Aug 28, 2019 at 9:11 PM UTC

evan-x

A Poem By Emily Prime

Do not lose time on daily trivialities. Do not dwell on petty detail. For all of these things melt away and drift apart within the obscure traffic of time. Live well and live broadly. You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead.

6

In my eyes I see colors In my eyes I see intricate patterns In my eyes I see fractals and geometric heaven In my eyes a railroad hurries on twists and turns In my eyes there’s a psychedelic sock hop In my head I miss the details In my head I paint a false portrait In my head I worry about petty mistakes But it is In my mind I escape them In my mind I become part of the beauty In my mind I can become anything I want For it is In my mind where I hold that power.

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Aug 28, 2019

Aug 28, 2019 at 8:11 PM UTC

evan-x

Through my eyes

In my eyes I see colors In my eyes I see intricate patterns In my eyes I see fractals and geometric heaven In my eyes a railroad hurries on twists and turns In my eyes there’s a psychedelic sock hop In my head I miss the details In my head I paint a false portrait In my head I worry about petty mistakes But it is In my mind I escape them In my mind I become part of the beauty In my mind I can become anything I want For it is In my mind where I hold that power.

14

By Chaotic Uncertain Strange Questionable Quantifiable means To take us back to understanding Who we already are. What will happen is infinity. The consequence is perfection. The root of that being Love. You can’t understand perfection, Because it doesn’t exist. Read between the lines.

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Aug 27, 2019

Aug 27, 2019 at 10:01 PM UTC

evan-x

Reality

By Chaotic Uncertain Strange Questionable Quantifiable means To take us back to understanding Who we already are. What will happen is infinity. The consequence is perfection. The root of that being Love. You can’t understand perfection, Because it doesn’t exist. Read between the lines.

14