I'm stuck like a baby in a manger. And like that baby i have a lot of growing to do and lot's to learn. But right now i feel a burn. A burn inside like I've never felt before. I want to know. Will it change into gold or will it change to ash. It's still burning. I'm still scared of what I'll become. Right now i trust you. But I'm afraid that I'll be hurt again like from the women before you. I see you with him. Yet you're with me. It's all happening like before. It's like deja vu. The burning. It's getting stronger now. I see her laugh with him. Now my hope is falling down. For once i wasn't alone. But now that it's all happening over again i could never feel more alone. My heart is a heart of stone. You throw it hard enough it'll break even the hardest of bone. It's how I'm feeling. I want the pain to end. I don't want to give up. I've never felt love like this before. But the pain is everlasting. Idk if it's worth it. But for now i push on. I push through the pain. She's still by him. Now that it continues i feel so much shame. Now that it continues the burning is a searing flame. I feel myself burning away. I want to isolate myself every day. I want to sleep all the time. I wish it was eternal. It's the only time and place I truly feel inner peace. Please forgive me when I'm crabby and angry. I'm burning inside. Just know I'm still pushing forward. I'm still a nice guy. Don't let my kindness fool you. I'm in pain. So stay happy and lift eachother up. Because i want to be truly happy too. It's all i have left to gain from the stain of my burning pain.
Dec 18, 2020
Dec 18, 2020 at 1:44 AM UTC
Echoes of another time
Memories of another scene
Days when you were mine
Not echoes of another’s dreams
I want you to come back
You are my everything
My heart is cracked
Oh this aching sting
Echoes of happy days
Not quite what they seem
Not now you’ve gone away
To echo in another’s dreams
Now we are on different paths
Memories forever thought
Find someone who lasts
More love than I brought
Echoes of a golden time
Memories of love’s theme
Days when you were only mine
Not only echoes in my old dreams
Dec 16, 2020
Dec 16, 2020 at 12:05 PM UTC
FILLED WITH DARKNESS
IT’S SAD BUT MY MIND IS ENDLESS
I WANT TO ESCAPE
BUT THERE IS NO WAY OUT
NO ONE IS AROUND
YET I DECIDE TO SHOUT
BUT THE QUESTION IS
IS IT REALLY DARKNESS??
OR IS IT MY OWN VERSION OF REALITY??
OR IS IT JUST THE THOUGHTS CAUSED FROM ANXIETY
EITHER WAY I CAN’T ESCAPE MY MIND
I AM LOST UNTIL I CAN GAIN SOME LIGHT
I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT IT’S HAPPINESS
BUT UNTIL THEN I WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT
FOR I AM LOST
AND I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES NO MATTER THE CAUSE
I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE
I DON’T WANT TO FEEL THIS PAIN
I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH MY WHOLE LIFE LIKE THIS
PLEASE
I WANT IT TO END
I DON’T WANT TO BE LOST
Dec 16, 2020
Dec 16, 2020 at 12:03 PM UTC
BURNING
My feelings are strange. Idk if it's love or anger. Either way I'm stuck like a baby in a manger. And like that baby i have a lot of growing to do and lot's to learn. But right now i feel a burn. A burn inside like I've never felt before. I want to know. Will it change into gold or will it change to ash? It's still burning. I'm still scared of what I'll become. Right now i trust you. But I'm afraid that I'll be hurt again like from the women before you. I see you with him. Yet you're with me. It's all happening like before. It's like deja vu. The burning. It's getting stronger now. I see her laugh with him. Now my hope is falling down. For once i wasn't alone. But now that it's all happening over again i could never feel more alone. My heart is a heart of stone. You throw it hard enough it'll break even the hardest of bone. It's how I'm feeling. I want the pain to end. I don't want to give up. I've never felt love like this before. But the pain is everlasting. Idk if it's worth it. But for now i push on. I push through the pain.
She's still by him. Now that it continues i feel so much shame. Now that it continues the burning is a searing flame. I feel myself burning away. I want to isolate myself every day. I want to sleep all the time. I wish it was eternal. It's the only time and place I truly feel inner peace. Please forgive me when I'm crabby and angry. I'm burning inside. Just know I'm still pushing forward. I'm still a nice guy. Don't let my kindness fool you. I'm in pain. So stay happy and lift eachother up. Because i want to be truly happy too. It's all i have left to gain from the stain of my burning pain.
She chose him. My insides are burning so much now they feel like ashes. Every moment of every day I want to give up and die away. People continue to ask me what's wrong. But they don't understand I've already told them everything. Now I don't know what to say. But just know I haven't given up. I've decided that I'm here to stay. I know sometimes I feel down and I find myself listening to the song “How to Save a Life by The Fray”. Still here I am today. I've decided to change. I got tired of trying to find the one. Instead I decided to try and be the one. So follow my lead. I’ve planted the seed for you to follow me on this path to succeed.
-ERIC TOLLEFSON
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 3, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC