**** It's ironic how empty I am because I swear 6 months ago I had the universe inside of me but I cried the rivers in my bones dry. The volcanoes in my chest erupted when you told me you didn't love me any more and lava flooded my body and hardened till I stopped sleeping. I had stars in my lungs but I burned them all out with the cigarettes I was smoking to get you the **** out of my throat. The flowers growing at the bottoms of my stomach are dead. Apparently you can't water flowers with ***** I had the sky in my veins but it’s been pretty ******* stormy since I ripped them open. I had planets on the tip of my tongue but the debris from the shattered remains of "us" have been crashing into them. I was everything. And then I met you and we were everything. Now you’re ******* some old guy who gets high all the time and I'm a ******* mess.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 4:57 PM UTC
I will **** the spiders. I will share my fries with you when you've finished all yours and are still hungry. I won't ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy—when I hear it growl and gurgle. I promise to bend down and reply respectfully. I will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. I will kiss the paper-cuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. I'll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. I will be the big spoon. I will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. Other times I will not. I will go faster. Harder. I will pull when you want. And tease you when you don't. I will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. Not always. Not on schedule. Just whenever I want to. Whenever I think you need one. Or seven. I will check your tire pressure. And remind you to take your car in. I will hold your hand. I will love you. I will love you. I will love you.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 4:51 PM UTC
The best part about you leaving me
Is I stopped having bad dreams
You always blamed it on what I would eat
But now I've realised all the anxiety
Was just a manifest of fears
That someday you might leave
And then you did
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 4:51 PM UTC
**** you…
**** you for not giving me the keys to the car.
**** you for not letting use my own money to buy things for myself.
**** you for not even trying to help me.
**** you for ruining my Thanksgiving.
**** you for ruining my Christmas.
**** you for changing your password and not letting me into your life.
**** you for falling in love with someone else.
**** you for running away from me.
**** you for breaking off all contact with me.
**** you for giving me hope and then taking that away from me.
**** you for overdosing and leaving me broken.
**** you for killing yourself.
**** you for treating me like **** all throughout my childhood.
**** you for never giving me the affection I needed.
**** you for trying to get back into my life when you’re the worst person for me.
**** you for ******* everyone but me.
**** you for being so ******* far away.
**** you for never being there for me.
**** you for never noticing me.
**** you for standing me up.
**** you for being a self centred *****
**** you for never thinking of me.
**** me…
**** me for having a ****** heart.
**** me for never having the motivation to improve my life.
**** me for not talking to anyone even when I need it.
**** me for isolating myself from the world.
**** me for falling in love with everyone that gives me the slightest bit of affection.
**** me for trusting everyone.
**** me for being so ****** up.
**** me for all the problems I have.
**** me for being so clingy.
**** me for never being good enough.
**** me for wanting more.
**** me for wishing something could have happened.
**** me for never letting go.
**** me for being so nostalgic.
**** me for actually giving two ***** about you.
**** me for falling in love with you.
**** me for crying every night for weeks because of me.
****
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 4:49 PM UTC
The night was cool. The eerie luminescent glow of a crescent moon, affixed overhead like a crack in the ceiling of the world, provided the only light to see by. I laid in the grass, staring up at the multitude of stars, it seemed like an impossible number. As I gazed, I thought about how exactly small I was. In proportion to everything, I’m insignificant, a microscopic dot on top of a microscopic dot. The short time I’ll spend on this little blue-green planet means nothing in the scope of the universe, I mean nothing, and will never make an impact.
I heard the crack of a twig under a boot and turned around, to find you, standing there next to me. You sat beside me, and looked up. You hugged your knees and bit you bottom lip in the way you always did when you were thinking really hard about something. As you were transfixed upon the heavens, I only had eyes for you. If anything, you were more beautiful than all the stars in the sky. You made me feel like I was the most important thing in the universe, like I mattered, and I knew I changed you.
You noticed me staring at you, gave a rye grin, and kissed me softly on my lips, your hand lingering on my cheek even after you pulled away. I took your hand and cupped it in mine, tracing the lines in your hand. You pulled me towards you, kissing me fiercely and forcing my hand to squeeze your breast. I fell into you, our limbs entwining and our hands exploring every inch of each other’s flesh. Soon enough, we were stripped of our clothes, not caring about the cool night air, for we were lost in the warmth of each other.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 1:52 AM UTC