I look at him
And see eternity
I feel the warmth of a thousand sunrises
The joy of a thousand smiles drips from my lips
And yet I am afraid
I fear he sees the darkness that hides behind my eyes
I fear he sees the fingerprints on my shatter glass heart left by clumsy lovers
I fear being let go again
I feel him
And the slaughtered butterflies in my belly are resurrected
My spirit longs for his embrace
To be caressed by his love
And yet I am afraid
I fear the road map etched into my skin will lead him to my secret places
That the convoluted labyrinth of my mind will prove to be a cumbersome burden
I fear he'll collapse underneath the weight of my truth
I yearn to be who he needs me to be
For when I see him
He sees me
The small flicker of hope inside me burns bright
He holds me
And washes away my fears
A thousand fireflies illuminate the seemingly endless night behind my eyes
Warming me
Guiding me towards eternity.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 10:05 AM UTC
It was
And then it wasn't.
And when it was
It was everything.
Nothing else could be because it was
And when it wasn't
It was nothing.
And now I struggle to remember that it ever was.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 5:21 AM UTC
There are days when I am ashamed of the skin I slink in
This brown body
With scars as red and angry as I was the day they were born
They mock me
Remind me of who I was
Of who I really am
A road map back into insanity.
There are days when I am ashamed of the skin I slink in.
This brown body
With fat hugging hips and thighs tighter than a man ever could
It speaks to me
Reminding me of who I'll never be
Reminding me that they don't make pretty in my size.
There are days when I am ashamed of this skin I slink in
This brown body
A field of land mines
Hidden.
Broken.
Prepared to self destruct at any given moment
And leave nothing but a story behind.
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 3:30 AM UTC
The night does not belong to those in love.
It belongs to those who dared to fall in love and found that there was no-one there to catch them.
The night does not belong to the dreamers.
It belongs to those who have nightmares waiting for them long after they are awake.
The night does not belong to the contented.
It belongs to those troubled souls who carry the burdens of this world on their backs.
The night belongs to the haunted.
It belongs to the lonely.
It belongs to those too busy fighting to even think about rest.
You can keep your sunshine.
Me and mine come alive in the night.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 9:07 AM UTC
Time and risk caught up to you;
Gagged you into silence.
Chasing down the dragon was
Your favorite form of violence.
I saw its markings on your skin;
The gauntness of your eyes
Your searching fingers scratching down
To truth, as you breathed lies
China white won this round, love
You thought you'd always dance
The dragon chose another one
And turned its gaze askance.
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 11:38 PM UTC
He runs.
His tired hands
Trembling hands
Hold each other to ward off the loneliness that follows him.
He's taught his heart not to love for fear of cutting his lover with the broken pieces that the reaper left behind.
He smiles
But there's a sadness in his eyes
Masochistic love affair with a needle and a pipe.
Fine lines and scarred skin
A never ending map for all the places he's been.
This boy is an artist
He dips his pen in the blood of fallen men
Each word he writes the rebirth of a generation
His lips make love to rhymes and give birth to revolution.
Haunted by the ghosts of the mistakes he's made
Soul heavy burden
He never stays
Once the pain is too great
He runs.
His tired hands
Trembling hands
Find peace within each other.
He's not lost
The space between yesterday and tomorrow
Between what was and what could be
That is where he has made his home.
That is where you'll find him.
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 8:22 AM UTC
I’ve listened: and all the sounds I heard
Were music,—wind, and stream, and bird.
With youth who sang from hill to hill
I’ve listened: my heart is hungry still.
I’ve looked: the morning world was green;
Bright roofs and towers of town I’ve seen;
And stars, wheeling through wingless night.
I’ve looked: and my soul yet longs for light.
I’ve thought: but in my sense survives
Only the impulse of those lives
That were my making. Hear me say
‘I’ve thought!’—and darkness hides my day.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 11:59 AM UTC
Sometimes I feel like wilting roses
Not as colorful as I should be
Not as beautiful as I could be
Constantly losing pieces of myself
Waiting to be forgotten
Remembering that I was once the thing that made you smile
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 2:33 AM UTC
I find myself haunted by the ghosts of people that refuse to die.
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 3:42 PM UTC
In this room
Everyone that has ever rejected me
And their new girlfriends.
In this room
Every mirror is a magnifying glass
Illuminating every insecurity.
In this room
I'm five minutes too late to say goodbye.
In this room
Everyone is watching what you did to me
No one tries to stop you.
In this room
Every lie I've ever told is written on the walls.
In this room
It is quiet, dark, and I am alone.
In this room
The baby I never had
Is crying.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC