Circles are rippling in my mind
The cause
Effect
Consequences in time
Of time, it was time
it was mine
When I was fine
I was okay being behind
Stuck by the line
In rhythm
In rhyme
What had me in this bind
Why was I being so blind
Ticking was the clock
I was stuck
Unable to walk
Paralyzed with fear
In tears
After many years
When had it become so clear
The words unraveled
Very well worn and travelled
Spun round the world
Dangling from a spoon
I was sailing right to the moon
Eyes wide excited
Scared
Bewildered
At the future beginning
Round again
In this one spin
Gasping for air
Where is the oxygen
Dizzying
Wheeling
Thoughts were fleeting
Could it be me
That was begging and pleading
For the end to stop
Just to start
An introduction
Speaking, with a silent voice
Smiling with no grin
Laughter with no sound
This moment was overtaking
Could I possibly meet who was in the making
To him
Creator
God
What would I say
Hope I wasn't faking
Now am I breaking
Dismayed, behind dark eyes
Everything laid out bare
Had always been there
For the taking
My heart need just to reach out,
And start the
Creating
Rippling
Circling in my head
I saw my end, but
First I saw
What was in that first breath
Of this life
My life
Such a whirlwind in
My mind
When would I comprehend
Understanding
Unblinking never faltering
Not halting
To the sound
A whisper
It echoed
Thru the eons
Ringing out in each soul
Longing for the chimes
The bells
The tones
To all sing out
In one voice
In one note
We all call out
In moments of hope
In times of faith
With joy
With sorrow
Yet always with the heart
It plays the beat
The tempo
The drums
As the ripples
Of circles
Come round again
I thought of consequence
Yet found the meaning of eternity
In the end.
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
I loved you
Those words don't sum it up
I adored you
So much that it tingled in my soul
It hurts to admit
Because it pours out
Like a down pour in Seattle
There's some kind of nostalgia to you
A welcome place an odd home
I had such desire for you
It drove me insane
When the illusion broke
For just a moment you had the feeling of home
Yet no matter what happens now
The loss is always mine
Your head is high in the clouds
Though I would wait forever
I desire a love in this life
A great love, my best and dearest friend
The one who's fingers will wrap around mine
I loved you
Yes it's in past tense
I step forward still searching for the soul
Which will lay next to mine
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 1:23 AM UTC
How many hours have we chatted?
How many hours have we laughed?
The great weight of sadness, it fills me
Knowing I will never return to see you
I will never want to after these moments have passed
The lonely moments in the night when we used each other
In ways that we should've just walked away from
Those time when we would've been better off
If we had never met, never said hello.
I wish it could've stayed as it was
I would be your friend and you...
You would be one of my hopes
Now I just feel like a fool
Failed and
Disappointed
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013 at 4:46 PM UTC
There had been you
In my life for so long,
It would keep that way
I had hoped,
But I knew that all good things end
They must, it is only natural
That I would be heart broken again
The tears will come later
After I have gotten onto the plane
The sadness will leave
After time has passed
I will miss your voice and laugh
Such a dear friend,but I know
That you think nothing of me
You are caught up on hopes
For a woman that is unattainable
Someone who you see as perfect
Well this is our collision my friend
We all make interesting choices
I would've chosen you everyday
Though I know you would be the first
To leave me by the roadside
Almost strange how it took a decade,
A few bad choices and your words
For me to realize how we differed
In our value of people, friendship and love
I won't forget your my dear
But I will let you go
I've done it before
I just never thought it would be you.
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013 at 4:41 PM UTC
so far in this poetry memoir ive left memories of three men....im done now as you might have seen from my last works...at 26 years of age, i take a vow of singleness...batchelor hood if you will....for i know love will never find me
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 5:06 AM UTC
it would be better if i could smile/ if life wouldnt throw curb ***** at me constantly/ im not that old/ im not than young/ but i seem to be in a perpetual state of less fun/ i wish you were still here/ constantly laughing with me/ we had such fun/ didnt we ?/ i though we did the whole time/ though you proved me wrong and out of rhyme/ saying i couldnt be anything to you/ couldnt be more than nothing to you/ i couldnt understand your indecisive mind/ one moment i was perfect/and right in time/ then the next you didnt want to see my face for fear of the time/ oh dear pan, dear prophet, dear destiny dear fate...just leave me be for i feel im too late/ love will never find me now/ i will be a maid/ so now i take this vow at this drinking stage/ no more will i love any of human kind in the way that a man loves a woman with such time/ no more will i search/ no more will i hope to find/ ive given up/ given in/ leave it to father time/ im drunk/ im tired my heart aches with pain/ i cant take anymore/ ive got no more to give/ in hope and in faith i retire from all this/ no more lovers/ no more spring time tiffs/ there is no point to it all/ no worth at all/ i now have decided to stop/ this stupid odd thing called love
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 5:04 AM UTC
If I could explain your words
if i could explain my heart break
i would
with all the words in the world i would try
I would try to tell people why
why you couldnt love me
why you wouldn't see me eye to eye
yet i dont know the answer to my heart break
tell me
i would love to know
you werent mean or terrible
you didnt lie cheat or steal
no
you just said
i could never see you being my girl
I was everything adorable
everything sweet and girly
so much that you couldnt believe your eyes
im wonderful, beautiful, you wanted me to meet your mom
but then
suddenly
i wasnt the prize you wanted
you could never see me marrying you
never see me loving and caring for you
who told you such lies
its okay, no really its happened before
my heart has been broken
ive heard it all these words before
I did nothing wrong you said
how is that
such confusing terms you had
im so lost in that
my drunken mind spins now
i hope you are happy now
you think that everything will be perfect
well you had something great!
i would have been there no matter what
taken care of you
and played with you
and been your best friend
but you didnt want that
no one seems to want that from me
its okay
you see
im used to it
im over it
i know no one will ever love me
im sorry to wallow in self pity
this isnt the first time my heart has broken in two
though i didnt think it would be because of you
we got along so well
no problems were dealt
yet you made them up in your head
saying it would never be me
thanks for the heart break
just so you know
giving back a whole heart
isnt that easy without dropping it once or twice
making sure it shatters on the floor
you may not have ment it
you may not have wanted to break it
but you did
more slowly
more painfully than the violent bullies from before
thank you
for showing me that love will never find me
that love will never be in my cards
i wish things were different
i wish it didnt hurt but i does
and the worst part is
you still hope to be friends
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 4:59 AM UTC
Just the light brush of your fingertips
right in the morning light
was all I needed to know
that it was just the right time
just the time to smile
cuddling closer into you
so very warm and sweet
after a long night's dreams
That was all that was done
just a light brushing of your fingers
so simple and so freeing all in one
the pleasant caress of your fingers against my skin
made me happy to know i was wanted again
you would pull me in close
my head on your chest
then only to resume dreaming
we would continue our rest
how i will miss these moments
with you so close by
you were so understanding
i never thought you one to lie
then it was over like a fleeting dream
a dream that ended like a nightmarish fiend
you were so unique to me
everything you did just right
you will never understand how you touched me
with you fingertips in the morning light
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 7:04 AM UTC
I've gone adrift into the mist
of waiting for some logic
there isn't really a question
but a hollow sound in my heart
poor thing, has been pulled to pieces too many times
shattered on the floor
being glued or taped or welded together
has only slowly made it easier to break
maybe it just needs strong hands
that will hold it carefully
hopefully those hands exist before my heart turns black
I know that I might find them
somewhere in this world they might be there
searching for this very sad heart to hold
warm large hands that will make it less hallow again
no longer will it beat dully
springing to life in a bright cheerful pulse
Just please please be careful
if I give you my heart, and you dont want it
dont drop it to the ground...just slowly hand it back
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 6:59 AM UTC
Why, why is there no one for me?
Maybe there is no one who wants a me.
Time keeps marching right along,
I was almost sure that someone would be there
to sing my song.
Someone who marched to the same beat
Atleast one who could understand me in my sleep
I thought that there would be a person just out of the blue
Who was there and would yell
"I completely understand you!"
so many times I thought oh maybe it will be this time
Yet, each time I was wrong.
Why,
Why is it all my friends have someone to sing with
I'm still here just humming along...
Wanting so badly someone to hold my hand
Why, dear love
are you so elusive to my poor heart
Just keep beating me up...
I got up everytime at the start
Now, I just don't know if I can stand it anymore
Time isn't being very kind to me
I'm not sure I really believe all the fairytale dreams
Because I am alone
I dont mind it, I stay busy, very self entertained
Though on those days that are hard
those nights when its just so quiet
I wish there was someone who i could snuggle into
Just quietly calling them home.....
I don't mind not having kids, to me that isnt the point
I could have a dog and a nice house to live.
Im very determined and love to travel
I just have a heart that seems to come unravelled
Especially when you leave it all frazzled
Why, dear love why am I a one not a two
Could you possibly explain to me the meaning of this timing
I'm just lonely...I'm human you know
I cannot survive on just pity and sympathy
for being an old maid in infancy
Please love
Please hear my meager words
I don't like this loneliness, it tends to hurt
So love, dear love...resolve this for me...
Or else I'll resolve to become involved in the existence of
love....then I will no longer cry myself to sleep because a broken why
has hurt my heart once again.
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 6:53 AM UTC