You believed in me before you knew my name
but you asked it anyway.
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 6:21 PM UTC
I long to hold a secret.
To have a place that feels like home,
And know I never have to leave it.
There's glimpses of it all around
Feelings I can't shake,
Moments I can't explain.
I cling to anything
Remotely resembling
All these invisible nudges
Whispering,
Telling me to hold on.
That it's out there.
It's real. It exists.
If you give up, it can't find you.
Keep searching.
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 10:40 PM UTC
There are creatures inside me
Thrashing and squirming
Eating away bits they fancy.
Redefining who I am.
Invisible to the subtle glance
Silent to those who question selfishly.
But it’s there.
Growing.
Progressing.
Screaming so loud I can’t ignore it.
Just because you choose not to see it
Doesn’t make it any less real.
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 11:29 PM UTC
I have many things I don’t deserve
Yet I look forward to the day the pain stops
And the anxiety ebbs again.
I hesitate to wish away these days
Because they could take the good things with them.
The very thought of that possibility
Brings tears to my eyes.
I do my best to appreciate
The things that bring the smiles to my face
While I endure through the things that break me.
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 12:00 AM UTC
I grieve the day I breathe my last and
can no longer see the way the
spring sun shines through trees and
dances through the grass in
so many shades of green.
Or how it brings out the red in your hair you
always swore was there as the
wind tousles it across your face,
getting caught in the corner of the
smirk you can’t hide.
I’ll miss you being mine.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 7:13 PM UTC
The storm I grew to love betrayed me
Thats what I get for putting
My trust in the elements.
The room where pain was my company
The bed I sat on when breakthrough happened
The Blinds I opened so I could stare the storm in the eye
It’s all gone now
Destroyed by the very thing that comforted me.
The same very thing that used to scare me.
No sooner I learned accepted it
I’m reminded that nothing is predictable.
Plans are just guesses at a future we hope for.
Mine went a little differently.
I’m older now.
Wiser.
Stronger.
The rain washed out things I didn’t know were holding me back.
I’m rebuilding myself.
Better than before.
I’m letting go of the past I used to define myself.
Stepping in to the future ahead.
Those unpredictable guesses at what tomorrow holds.
I’m making sense of the mess I’ve been left with,
Holding on to the Hope that’s never left me
I can endure the pain
Bring on the rain.
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 11:29 AM UTC
I️ draw red lines
To silence my mind
Breathe in deeply
One step at a time
I’ve gotten this far
I️ can keep going, still
Even when I️ don’t want to
I️ will.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 5, 2017 at 7:46 PM UTC
You can’t see the way the sunlight
Casts shadows across the page
As my hand draws the lines
To make these sentences.
But that doesn’t make it any less real.
You can’t hear the way the song
Plays over the coffee shop
Speakers, hardly recognized by
Fellow patrons over concentrated
Furrowed brows and steaming milk.
But that doesn’t make me avoid feeling it.
You can’t smell the mix of
Espresso and the cologne of
The man sitting across from me and
Be taken back to that day in March
Playing in my mind so vividly.
But that doesn’t make me crazy.
I couldn’t ask you to even try
To begin understanding the slightest
Bit of what makes me who I am.
Yet here I am.
Living anyway.
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 6:38 PM UTC
Hey,
Stay.
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 10, 2017 at 12:14 PM UTC