elloitszammi - Hello Poetry

It's exactly 12 AM. Avoiding you again. Back to old habits. Pushing you away when I can't do anything anymore. When all I feel is guilt. I try not to do it, but it's so easy to be tempted into doing old habits. Especially the worst ones. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. You deserve better just like the rest of the ones I've pushed away.

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May 17, 2015

May 17, 2015 at 12:06 AM UTC

Back to Old Habits.

It's exactly 12 AM. Avoiding you again. Back to old habits. Pushing you away when I can't do anything anymore. When all I feel is guilt. I try not to do it, but it's so easy to be tempted into doing old habits. Especially the worst ones. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. You deserve better just like the rest of the ones I've pushed away.

9

I don't know what it is. I always seem to be reeled back to you. Same old feelings. Same old words. Same old hopes that have been broken.

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Feb 17, 2015

Feb 17, 2015 at 3:23 PM UTC

Same Old.

I don't know what it is. I always seem to be reeled back to you. Same old feelings. Same old words. Same old hopes that have been broken.

13

If I were to tell you how I truly felt, would you hold me tight and say the same? Or would you run from fright and say nothing at all? -S.S.

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Sep 28, 2014

Sep 28, 2014 at 9:48 PM UTC

Truth or Fright?

If I were to tell you how I truly felt, would you hold me tight and say the same? Or would you run from fright and say nothing at all? -S.S.

10

I thought I was over the silly little butterflies. But whenever you're near, I could feel them fluttering around. I could hear my own heartbeat. I could feel it beating like crazy. I find myself looking down and around just to avoid your brown eyes. The eyes I've always adored. Wishing I could look straight into them without feeling anything. Because when you're around, I feel all the butterflies and heartbeats x2. - S.S.

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Sep 5, 2014

Sep 5, 2014 at 11:48 PM UTC

Everything x2

I thought I was over the silly little butterflies. But whenever you're near, I could feel them fluttering around. I could hear my own heartbeat. I could feel it beating like crazy. I find myself looking down and around just to avoid your brown eyes. The eyes I've always adored. Wishing I could look straight into them without feeling anything. Because when you're around, I feel all the butterflies and heartbeats x2. - S.S.

16

I can't seem to focus. All I think about are old memories. I can't get rid of them. You're clogging up my mind. I just want them to stop. The flashbacks, the feelings, everything. I need to breathe. Please let me breathe... -S.S.

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Sep 5, 2014

Sep 5, 2014 at 11:39 PM UTC

Out Of Focus

I can't seem to focus. All I think about are old memories. I can't get rid of them. You're clogging up my mind. I just want them to stop. The flashbacks, the feelings, everything. I need to breathe. Please let me breathe... -S.S.

13

It's funny how I thought you were going to be the one who ends up hurting me, when the person who ended up hurting me was myself. I pushed you away when I need you the most. You were the only person who could make me laugh when I was close to tears. You were the only person who could make me forget all my problems. Where are you now?

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Jul 24, 2014

Jul 24, 2014 at 1:37 PM UTC

Overthinking Things.

It's funny how I thought you were going to be the one who ends up hurting me, when the person who ended up hurting me was myself. I pushed you away when I need you the most. You were the only person who could make me laugh when I was close to tears. You were the only person who could make me forget all my problems. Where are you now?

12

There has to be another explanation for all of this. Please tell me the real reason. Please tell me that you never used me. Please tell me I wasn't a rebound. Please tell me that i'm just over thinking all of this. I'm not okay. I need closure. The right kind of closure. Please tell me what you felt was real, because all I feel right now is pain.

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Jul 16, 2014

Jul 16, 2014 at 7:37 PM UTC

Please?

There has to be another explanation for all of this. Please tell me the real reason. Please tell me that you never used me. Please tell me I wasn't a rebound. Please tell me that i'm just over thinking all of this. I'm not okay. I need closure. The right kind of closure. Please tell me what you felt was real, because all I feel right now is pain.

10

I can't move on because of you. Nothing will ever change between us. No matter how many times we try, we can never remain as friends. But maybe it's because one of us eventually gives up, and usually, it's you. As soon as you have my hopes up, you drop me. As soon as things get better between us, you leave. And I never knew why. You're constantly going back and forth, in and out of my life. It drives me completely insane. Not because you're constantly in and out of my life, but because I let you. No matter how big the damage is, I always let you back in to fix it. Even when I know you create bigger messes every time.

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Jun 26, 2014

Jun 26, 2014 at 1:48 AM UTC

1:48 AM

I can't move on because of you. Nothing will ever change between us. No matter how many times we try, we can never remain as friends. But maybe it's because one of us eventually gives up, and usually, it's you. As soon as you have my hopes up, you drop me. As soon as things get better between us, you leave. And I never knew why. You're constantly going back and forth, in and out of my life. It drives me completely insane. Not because you're constantly in and out of my life, but because I let you. No matter how big the damage is, I always let you back in to fix it. Even when I know you create bigger messes every time.

21

*We had a past. We fell for each other, but I moved on and you should too.* As you said those words, I stopped everything I was doing. I had tears streaming down my face and I didn't even notice. Every word stung. But instead of me moving on, here I am writing poems about you... -S.S

0

Jun 16, 2014

Jun 16, 2014 at 10:38 PM UTC

Move On He Said.

*We had a past. We fell for each other, but I moved on and you should too.* As you said those words, I stopped everything I was doing. I had tears streaming down my face and I didn't even notice. Every word stung. But instead of me moving on, here I am writing poems about you... -S.S

11

Do you still like him? they ask. I don't answer. Not because i'm scared of them judging me, but because I wasn't exactly sure. Well do I? I look for you in the large crowd. You catch me glancing at you. I immediately look away. I feel my face getting hot. My heart stops. I look back up and I see you walking towards her. You give her the tightest hug. You look at me then back at her. You hug her again. I walk away as fast as I can. I find myself alone and I feel it. I feel the ache in my chest. Of course I still like you. There never goes a day when I don't think about you. -S.S.

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Jun 15, 2014

Jun 15, 2014 at 2:14 PM UTC

Do you still like him?

Do you still like him? they ask. I don't answer. Not because i'm scared of them judging me, but because I wasn't exactly sure. Well do I? I look for you in the large crowd. You catch me glancing at you. I immediately look away. I feel my face getting hot. My heart stops. I look back up and I see you walking towards her. You give her the tightest hug. You look at me then back at her. You hug her again. I walk away as fast as I can. I find myself alone and I feel it. I feel the ache in my chest. Of course I still like you. There never goes a day when I don't think about you. -S.S.

22