why is he so perfect
why does he have to be so good to me
he makes me feel happy which isnt exactly easy
he would never let me be upset
or hurt
i really wish i could stop feeling how i do about him
the heart emojis that mean something to me are shallow and playful to him
the "i want to help"s make my heart beat faster
the plationic "i love you"s make my heart both break and flutter
i love him
and he "loves" me
its just not enough
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 3:25 PM UTC
i loved him
i still love him, he doesnt feel the same
he left me, telling me
"i still want to be friends"
well guess what
i don't
you lied to me
hurt me
and broke me
but now
its my turn
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC
a life where I always feel wrong
where I cant remember my left from right
my up from down
im just falling cause I cant make right choices
I found love, he found lust
he cant care about anything other then what I wont give him
because I cant give all of me to him he moves on
and once again im left to feel stupid
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 3:29 PM UTC
it
it follows me with its eyes as i walk past
it looks hungry
it follows me
it pins me to the wall
it puts its hands everywhere
it doesn't hear my pleads
it abuses
it hurts
it hates
it marks my neck
it thinks i belong to it
it knows i wont fight back
it destroys me
it
doesn't
care
May 16, 2018
May 16, 2018 at 5:55 PM UTC
music dulls the pain
fills our cuts with messages
"it will be better"
"nothing lasts forever"
we believe these notes
these gauze help to clot our pain
prevent damage
music is our lifeline
we are called emo
or depressed
or obsessed
for using music to fix ourselves
cause no one else tries
May 16, 2018
May 16, 2018 at 5:38 PM UTC
what is hope?
is it the ache for better
or the bright side of everything
does it ever truly exist?
or does it just manage to be a shadow of an idea
hope isn't real
all the children who look for better are stupid
this is our world
it *****
and its not getting better
so what is hope now
hope
is
nothing
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 4:11 PM UTC
my ever present love
he sits quietly on my shoulder
whispering sweet promises in my ear
"keep going, love, fight it all"
so i do
i listen and i push
never looking back
into the light i go
the light that heals
thanks to my love
giving me the will to push
to fight this hell of a society
for he was the only one to care
the only one who cares
and he's but a voice
just a voice
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 11:52 AM UTC
Never shall I forget the day in which my whole life changed
The day I was introduced to my closest "friend"
Her name is Grief
She follows me everywhere
She's been there for me since my father took his life
Grief likes to bring her friend along sometimes
His name is Guilt
The two are always there for me, reminding me of my uselessness
"you're the reason he's gone" they chant behind me
Every day
My only break from them is when I sleep
But even then, Insomnia creeps into my room and talks to me all night
Reminding me of how much I let Guilt and Grief in
But Insomnia is the one to show me how to deal with them
"Cut them away, they will leave your body in the color of red and escape by trickling down your legs"
So, I listened
And slowly, things got "better"
Then worse
Every night I had my "freeing session" but they just kept coming back
So I gave up
I let them stay, and gave up
My three friends still taunt me, but maybe I deserve it
May 1, 2018
May 1, 2018 at 8:45 PM UTC