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elizabeth-waxman
We battle every day, but victories don’t stop us. Marriage equality is growing, but we won’t slow until it is everywhere. We have our many flags of different colors and patterns. We march with them in the streets, showing our pride. In the dark alleys, however, We are beaten, ***** murdered. By these shadowed figures that we only see in blinding darkness. Perhaps they are teachers, parents, priests, or our best friends. We will never know as they hide, waiting to attack one of us. Our youth on the streets because of parents, once unconditional with love, now hate and abandon. We are an unstoppable community. You can hurt us, abandon us, and hate us, but we will not leave. If you try to oppress us, we will raise our flags of many colors higher, march longer, and never stop.
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Jul 4, 2018
Jul 4, 2018 at 11:28 PM UTC
Black and Blue Flags
Of course I'm scared of death. What fool wouldn't be? wanting to die, does not negate fear. Of course I'm scared of death. The uncertain, The unknown, The absoluteness. Of course I'm scared of death. Even with a noose around my neck. If it will be painless, or excruciating dread. Of course I'm scared of death, so i back down tentatively. Some may call that cowardly, but to that I am okay.
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Aug 1, 2017
Aug 1, 2017 at 5:34 PM UTC
Scared of Death
I hate you. The words you use. The way I flinch at any sudden moves afraid it is you ready to strike. I hate how you act like a small spoiled child when you're supposed to be: a mother a role model a gentle soul. Why do I love you? I defend you! I blame myself! I'm told I must. "You can't hate your mother". So if I do, I must pretend and force myself to love you instead of hate.
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Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 9:07 PM UTC
Hate.......and love?
I'm so confused is this how people act? Are these extra nice, or were the old ones just ***** For once i don't panic alone. For once people laugh at my jokes. For once they seem to like me. people act this way? Is this normal? Because i thought this was in movies, or in stories I wrote when I begged for a friend. Am I worried they will leave? Of course! I always do. I probably always will, but right now I should enjoy it enjoy having friends and have memories if i'm left alone again.
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Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 9:03 PM UTC
Confusion
How many more tears can I handle? How many more weekends? Being insulted every time I interact. Being told to shut up every time my mouth opens. Being yelled at to the point I cant do anything. Being shamed to the point I look in the mirror and hate myself. Till I hate the way I act The way I dress The way I look The way I LIVE! The tears steaming down my cheeks begging the pain in my gut to leave and the weight on my chest to be lifted if only for a moment. The idea of a nice quiet weekend goes away the minute they awake. My temporary smile wiped away. Replaced with the all more familiar Fear Sadness Anxiety. I push them down and try to behave. I hope they vanish but I know they come out. They wouldn't see though. They're too busy causing these tears now dried on my face.
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Nov 12, 2016
Nov 12, 2016 at 3:06 PM UTC
Crying
This little pink ball looks so tiny and innocent hidden behind a flap of skin. I am its master. You are at my mercy once I take hold of it. I will tease you for hours and then finally see it. A little pink ball glistening with your ***** excitement. Even not a touch, but just circling around it, playing with the skin that covers it slightly. I can push down a little and make you lose control. I can rub it and watch your muscles tense and spasm. You buck and groan wanting more. The little pink ball ***** as it will go. I twist it between my fingers as your legs twitch and sweat. As I stop right before you hit ****** edging you, teasing you all night long. I will leave your beautiful red lips, and put mine to your little pink ball. Slowing licking it, as you once again convulse uncontrollably from the sensation of my tongue. It becomes too much and you *** *** *** You lay their exhausted, sweat dripping from your forehead. with that goofy satisfied smile on your face, like nothing else in the world matters. I watch you and admire my handiwork. I finally speak, “My turn”
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Oct 20, 2016
Oct 20, 2016 at 8:56 PM UTC
A Woman is Just as Good
paper or rope? Breathing so heavy your chest hurts, yet you feel like you have no air. Falling to your knees as you walk into your home, the sob pushing out of your mouth. Pulling yourself up you bang your head against the wall, until sweet gooey blood crawls down your face. Too many feelings this time? Maybe you need more? Will writing work now, or is it just the end? You had rope saved for today, already tied in the noose. Can words save you till tomorrow, Or have your rhymes all dried out.
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Oct 20, 2016
Oct 20, 2016 at 8:54 PM UTC
Paper or Rope?
These ones seem nice. These ones seem legitimate. But i'm still worried. Worried they will leave like all the others. Then I will be alone again. I shouldn't get attached, but I always do. Maybe they wont leave me? Maybe these ones like me? The ones in the past just pretended. It was an act. I have to try and trust again. Hope this time These new friends Really are the best.
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Oct 20, 2016
Oct 20, 2016 at 8:50 PM UTC
New Friends
What did I do To deserve your hate? I mean your my mom For gods sake. When I get hit It hurts When I get slapped It stings. You call me ***** ***** **** When all I try to do Is please you. You make me feel worthless You've made me wanna die. You've made me make my skin Bruised Or bleed. You're words are like fire Branded into my brain. When I'm alone I hear you. But then it's ok Because you would buy? A new toy A new outfit. You would say "im sorry" And say you love me. But the next day Start again. Until my psyche is destroyed And my brain is confused. Until inside I'm dead. I see myself as sub human I've had a noose around my neck So close to stepping off. So close to ending it all. Why do you hate me? A child you adopted. A child you abused. That grew into this broken woman you see before you.
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Oct 20, 2016
Oct 20, 2016 at 8:41 PM UTC
To My Mother
Why do I think you care? Why do I think you remember me? Or even care? I know you're ignorant I know you don't know I know you weren't informed But then why do I hate you? You probably are married Two kids Nice job Nice house You gave your first up to give them that They got a nice house Parent with good job Went to a good school district But feel abandoned by you! What would you say if you knew? If you saw your kid get slapped? Get emotionally abused everyday Get screamed at for nothing Or for even doing chores. Would you care she cried every night? A 7 year old praying for another family A 10 year old praying for her mother! I pretend you wouldn't It's easy to hate you When I don't know you Do you mind I hate you? Would you care I hurt myself? That I've left my skin bruised And scarred? That I've had thought of dying since age 11? It's easier to pretend That you forgot me Out of sight out of mind Leaving sealed fills And no names listed.
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Oct 20, 2016
Oct 20, 2016 at 8:36 PM UTC
Dear Birth Mother