I keep my distance from salt.
I eat lots of veggies.
I can make my eyes look in different directions.
I leave a trail wherever I go.
I am tenacious.
I am flexible.
I am soft and mushy, I need to be vulnerable to move.
I also can't completely let go of my logic.
I'm often overlooked.
My eyes extend past myself and my (in)sight can often harm me.
I'm weird, but strong.
I sleep best when my body melds with that of another.
My natural world is one of wonder.
This shell hardened as I was forced to grow up.
When I touch you I taste you, I mark you, I trust you you.
I carry everything I am with me on display.
If you look at me just right, I have a pearly sheen and always seem to smile.
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 2:00 PM UTC
Touch me.
I won't shatter,
I won't explode.
Run your fingers through my hair.
I'm not brittle,
I won't break.
Hold me close,
Ignore the tears,
Just hold me.
It's been so long,
Since I've been touched.
So long since I've been loved.
Touch me,
Hold me,
Run your fingers through my hair.
I won't shatter,
I'm not brittle,
Just hold me.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 9:40 AM UTC
You use a pseudonym perhaps better suited than your given name.
the click of heels on pavement
Spread throughout the world of fantasy with no hint as to the true origins, branching out without tangible roots, enveloping and magic.
puffs of breath floating in the old stale air
My man of the red earth, you are my ground, let me place these roots to steady you.
eyes staring out from the darkness
You see the beauty in the world and maximize it, cultivating brightness and emotion, let me show you the same within yourself.
the chase-stumbling-caught-impact
Our hearts need not bleed if we stitch them together.
squeezing, short of breath
Charge my spirit and I'll help yours to fly, yearn for me, and I will find a way to you.
impact, pain, staggered breathing
Forget the world and all of it's concerns, forget the word "if."
the flick of a knife
In our world, darling, fear is the drug, not the bane.
threatening release from mortal bonds while the earthly body is bound tightly
I'd carve all your names into myself, keep them at least scrawled on my skin forever, knowing that I belonged, if only you would know you were worthy of it.
teasing out the cries that were stifled in the night, the tears too scared to be shed
We all have demons, but some of us know how to embrace and dance with them.
the demon knods, a greeting, an invitation, a knowing smirk of all the darkness within
Power is a gift that must be deserved, as is love, and security allows for challenge.
chains weighing down the limbs, holding the body secure, calming the panic or encouraging it in order to give better future relief
Without darkness, there can be no light, extremity allows for contrast, emphasis, and pleasure as you well know my love.
taking mind, body, soul
Let's find just how bright this darkness allows the world to look.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 9:36 AM UTC
If I were in a fairytale, I'd be the knight to save the damsels in distress.
If I were the sandman I'd sprinkle so much sweet dreams into their eyes that they'd still see them when awake.
If I could stretch myself out enough I'd cover all the women of the world in a blanket of love and confidence.
If I were magnetic I'd hold back all of the knives they use to cut their tender skin.
If I were a telepath, I'd whisper to every girl who's ever cried, "you are wonderful."
If I were a mirror I'd show them all their best qualities, I'd show them how they look through the eyes of someone who loves them.
If I were a superhero I'd set out to save the world, or at least all of the sad and lonely girls in it.
If they'd let me, I'd give them my heart, or else teach them how to love themselves.
If I could teach enough girls how to love, then maybe one of them could learn to love me.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 10:15 PM UTC
A pearl is a grain of sand that is kept far from its home and held captive in the dark belly of a strange creature. They're rare to find in nature but humans can manufacture them, and I've found more than most.
the sweetest pearl i've ever found was the baby i only got to hold once, who should have been mine, who stayed in the hospital because she became an addict in the womb and her parents cant stop fighting.
the saltiest pearl ive ever found was the girl with the black lipstick, screaming the show that this flower isnt part of the wallpaper and all she needed to know was that she was worthy of a love letter.
the lumpiest pearls are the loved ones who rebuff me for fear of loss, the lovers who lose me because they stood still instead of taking a chance, and the family members who own my heart but ignore the existence of my mind.
I hate the sea but I love pearls because just like me, they're a bit of sand just trying to become something great. so here i sit, waiting for someone to find me like i found the others, who'll hold me close and tell me im pretty.
me who loves too easily,
who gives too much of herself,
and feels too much like a grain of sand lost in the dark.
but pearls take time and are hard to find in nature.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 10:11 PM UTC
This is the story of a statue. It was found covered in ivy and so old that it could no longer be traced to a creator or considered a form of expression or art.
It was taken into a home where the light shone through large windows and the cold winds were kept away. The human was rarely home, but the statue was content to always be there for them.
Winter came and the windows were covered and the fire was often out. Dust collected and the human lay ill in another room.
The statue could do nothing but keep standing.
A visitor came one day. They looked at the statue for a long time, then asked to buy it: to take it home and exhibit it proudly. The statue was sold and scheduled to be moved.
But no one ever came. Furniture moved and was taken away. The statue was put into a corner and left to wonder. Was it beautiful? Was it chipped somewhere? What shapes did it take?
Its human sat in a chair across the room without looking at the statue.
So there it sat: sold but not taken, loving but not loved, unsure of itself, made of stone.
It told itself that one day spring would come, or at least a mirror would be placed so that it could see its own true form.
So there it waits, loving, hoping, wondering, standing: just as a statue is meant to be.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 10:10 PM UTC
When the boys say they "won't go as big as.." you,
When you look more like a teacher than a student,
When you see the other girls' expressions at you in the school bathroom mirror while they reapply their eyeliner,
When you sweat feverishly around those fragile powder-fresh beauties,
When you accidentally knock their things off their desks because your thighs can't fit and you were nervous to get up and walk in front of them anyways,
When they take selfies with you and your face is a mass of red, your eyes lost in your glasses, and you a blob,
When the boys you care for or even love profess their devotion to girls who are so much more beautiful than you could ever be,
When that baggy t-shirt look doesn't look chic because you have only high-neck boy shirts and are too top heavy;
Don't try to explain that your money goes to groceries so you can't afford team membership dues much less a new blouse.
Don't explain that your nice shoes need a retouch of hotglue so you really only had your snowboots.
Don't tell them that you didn't put on makeup because your mom was in the er, because even though she was, you didn't bother because you knew no amount of makeup could make them see you as an equal.
Don't you dare show them your scars.
Know that they do not laugh at you because you are not significant enough to be the topic of their conversation.
If someone says privately that they want you they will not acknowledge you in public.
If a cute person online shows interest, trust your instincts because those kind of people do not look at your kind of people.
Know that when you meet someone you might like, knowing how others see you, it's your choice if you want to hope that this one will see you any differently.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 10:08 PM UTC
I have a shelf in my heart where I put those lost-sigh loves.
but I cannot trust myself as an empath because I wish too hard for them to come off the shelves.
I feel betrayed by my intuition because none of what I loved and hoped for came true.
I am lost and desperate, looking to my ex to hold me and show me the way because she's the most familiar face in a crowd of people who do not care.
I still want to reach out and touch because I don't know what else to do with myself.
I would put her on the shelf of "you'll always have my heart" but that shelf is too often knocked from the wall by loves who won't stay static.
The straight girl cannot let me hold her without me savoring her scent and then remembering that this same action does not make her heart stop as it does mine.
The geek boy cannot let me be or else I'll panic and all it takes is a smile to calm me down. But then I remember that I'll never see his **** again because my heart got in the way.
And she, she is nice to me now than she ever was, but maybe that's because I expect less of her. I don't know if I sense her pain or just hope that she too, still feels.
She snaps at me that it can't be changed, but
what does that mean?
Do I try to be nice?
Do I still dream of a happy ending?
Can I be happy alone in my room with nothing but my knick-knacks to bring me joy?
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM UTC
Are there stars on your ceiling tonight?
Does the moonlight reflect from the snow as you, I, and all the wonderful people who feel too much wander in the cold, wishing to no longer be lonely?
Please tell em the cold hasn't frozen those thoughts in limbo,
Please tell me your primal instinct hasn't been quelled.
I found you, in the dangerzone, while I was trying not to jump.
Trying not to say something stupid, to not be that same coward for fear of rejection and my own thoughts.
I had wanted to scream and break open my chest to show my feelings,
Hoping someone would understand and fix me and hold me together.
It is in that feeling that we are not alone.
It is true that we may never catch the sunlight,
But the Japanese have a word for the way the sun shines through the trees and that is beautiful.
We cannot never be alone, we cannot fly
But we can find words, and share them,
and hold each others' hands across a bridge over time and space,
Made of words
Without knowing, but with full understanding
And take a more fulfilling plunge.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 11:35 AM UTC
I used to believe in fairytales,
but I failed in making one.
My fairytale came,
but I'd stopped dreaming.
I'd made myself a good, real life
but some dreams change everything.
I can't live without sleep,
but to only sleep is to die.
I can only do so much when awake.
I can't achieve goals in my sleep.
I love life but I'm not a machine.
I love dreams but I'm no longer a child.
Reality isn't bad, and I can't leave it,
but let me sleep, let me dream.
I'm only here for so long.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 8:00 PM UTC